The Tweets of Eric Bittle

Totally raw, all of Bitty’s tweets up until the very beginning of his Junior year.

Time Stamp!Tweet!
6/18/2014 1:13:05Hey, y'all! Guess it’s about time I started tweeting! But I feel like I’m just gonna tweet a whole bunch of pie recipes. #omgcheckplease
6/18/2014 1:17:00I do love being at home, but Madison, GA can be a bit of a hot mess during these June months. How I miss the breeze off the Samwell River!
6/18/2014 1:20:40And if it weren’t obvious, I love being at home because of my kitchen. <3 <3 <3 Which makes me wonder how things at the Haus are going…
6/19/2014 1:27:08Y'all, I wanna make some #worldcup themed cookies, but no one in my neck of the woods has got that World Cup Fever. :(
6/19/2014 1:29:18Oh! I’ll make some & ship ‘em up to Ransom & Holster. I wonder if Jack’s too busy with training camp…I wonder if Jack even likes cookies.
6/23/2014 4:39:53*sigh* I’m just convinced that me and my dad will never like the same things. :/
6/23/2014 20:30:18Rans & Holster keep texting me about the #WorldCup2014. Y'all–I’m barely watching US games, why do you think I’m watching Mexico v.Croatia?
6/23/2014 20:37:59“rans: yo well canada’s not at the World Cup. NHL/NBA over & holster gets here next week what do u want me to do..” Um, just text Holster?
6/24/2014 2:32:24Skyped Shitty today; He just got back from his dad’s place in Boston– apparently there’s an ultimatum to get rid of his flow by graduation?
6/24/2014 2:34:54Er–but the way Shitty talked about it involved a lot more swearing obvi…Hm. I wonder what if his dad knows his first name. ._.?
6/24/2014 2:41:39(Also, y'all just ignore me if I start tweetin’ Beyoncé lyrics. That’s just gonna happen from time to time. They’re so RELEVANT!!)
6/24/2014 21:23:41Afternoon!!! If you’re wondering what my teammates and I are up to this summer~~-Rans + Holtzy + Shitty are goinna be at Samwell round July.
6/24/2014 21:34:46A lot of the boys stay at Samwell over the summer, making cash mowing grass at the Golf Course. Sooo jelly that they get to skate at Faber!
6/24/2014 21:36:45Jack got invited to a BUNCH of NHL prospect camps…CHI, BOS, MTL…According to Shitty, Jack’s going to have “wicked offers, brah.”
6/24/2014 21:37:54And me? I’m working at the same summer camp I’ve been employed at since high school! The kids call me Mr. Bittle. :) :) :) #counselorlyfe
6/28/2014 1:19:56I’ve absolutely decided: before I return to Samwell, I’m getting the Chop. #newlook #Samwell2017
6/29/2014 3:43:36Lookin at pics from the #NHLDraft…Good Lord #AARONEKBLAD’S HAIR! Under what CIRCUMSTANCES does a hockey bro’s hair require that much POMP!
6/29/2014 3:44:53Seriously, that child’s got a tsunami going on. WOW.
7/1/2014 22:52:52Excuse my French but my MeeMaw makes the best fucking apple pie.
7/1/2014 22:53:47Which–SURPRISE–what else do y'all expect me to make this 4th of July???
7/2/2014 1:29:05Grocery shopping with my mother today! :) :) :) I can’t fit in the buggy anymore but it’s still one of my favorite mom-son activities.
7/2/2014 1:29:14I don’t even wanna say how long we spent in the baking aisle. (Mother struck up a conversation w/ strangers; I was indecisive re: sprinkles)
7/2/2014 1:30:40Gotta get as much baking in with mi madre before school starts again!!! Oooh, maybe she’ll be a guest on my vlog! #omgcheckplease :)
7/2/2014 1:47:28@hannza innit the worst?! (but also the best let’s be honest.)
7/2/2014 4:05:45@music_will_rule Oh my, okay!! I’ll try to keep it interesting then! (So less tweets about shopping with my mom?)
7/2/2014 4:08:03Just got this text from Jack: “don’t forget to rest up” …Jack, why are you awake???
7/2/2014 4:10:05@music_will_rule Woot woot!! Represent!!! :) :) :)
7/2/2014 14:21:28HUMIDITY!!!! No one at Samwell even UNDERSTANDS. >:T
7/2/2014 15:38:20@VictoriaPyrrhi one of my friends is from Toronto and was complaining about Massachusetts being humid in September. I’m like “pls”.
7/2/2014 17:32:14Good God [Beyoncé’s Best Tour Costumes http://t.co/NQfhhme3Dv via @ELLEmagazine]
7/2/2014 19:31:11Holster and I are watching the new season of #OrangeIsTheNewBlack. (I will NOT post spoilers.) Well, Holster’s REwatching.
7/2/2014 21:43:01“Holster: Sorry, Bits. I’d watch it with Rans but he doesn’t really get into TV. Okay we’ll talk about s2e03 tomorrow. IT’S GREAT.” -_____-
7/3/2014 16:10:054th-of-July Practice Apple Pie: tried to copy MooMaw but added too much cinnamon. Need to stick to my strengths…sweet n’ simple. >:/
7/3/2014 17:36:25@VictoriaPyrrhi Aw! You’re too sweet. ~(˘▾˘~)
7/4/2014 17:57:31As American as apple pie. :) #Happy4thofJuly
7/5/2014 13:11:49HELP!!! How do I get out of going fishing with my dad and uncles??? uugguggghhh there’s a Real Housewives marathon on tomorroooow!! (╯︵╰,)
7/5/2014 16:51:25It’s awful when you have to be in a place where you can’t totally be yourself….
7/5/2014 16:52:11Always having the same old conversations with the same old people about things that don’t apply to you. >:/
7/5/2014 16:52:44Sorry I’m being vague. I just really miss Samwell sometimes. :/
7/7/2014 17:19:35Chowder just sent me a panicky FB message about school supplies. Quote: “Bitty how many notebooks should I get???” (ღ˘⌣˘ღ) so adorable.
7/8/2014 17:54:28Um. If I said I backed this would y'all judge me? (・◇・) Burly Bakers: http://t.co/ZjNMUhEOWU via @kickstarter
7/10/2014 16:36:57“@omgcheckplease RT @MidwestCurls: Always be yourself Unless you can be Beyoncé Because you’d be pretty dumb to turn down being Beyoncé” OMG
7/10/2014 16:42:10Text from jack: “how are you”. What a nice captain. :)
7/10/2014 16:42:42It’s crazy how your relationship with someone can change so much in a year.
7/10/2014 23:56:01Take note all future significant others: http://t.co/AzDIHJ8JWs <3 #QueenBee
7/11/2014 2:38:05Counting the days til preseason & sophomore year!! Even tho Rans & Holtzy said they’d tackle me as soon as I step foot in the Haus. (; ʘ‿ʘ )
7/11/2014 2:41:25(I think they sometimes forget they’re a lot bigger than me. It’s like when you see really big dogs playing with tiny ones at the park?)
7/11/2014 4:59:23“@saravonsega step over that threshold with a big ol’ pie and maybe they’ll think twice—for your safety AND the pie’s, of course.“GOOD idea!
7/11/2014 13:56:21AC. BROKEN. (〜￣△￣)〜
7/11/2014 15:14:37@omgcheckplease I thought Skyping the boys shirtless was gonna be weird but they’re already shirtless? I really don’t understand bros. ._.?
7/12/2014 15:40:52Worry no more, dear followers!! The AC guys came today! And one of them was really funny. And tall. And nice.
7/12/2014 16:30:02@Kheradihr I mean, I NEVER said that. (but he just finished vocational school and is moving to ATL so whatever nothing even matters. *sigh*)
7/13/2014 1:54:34∩(︶▽︶)∩”@Aggrax @omgcheckplease You are the most adorable human being on the planet. It’s official, you get an award for it.#adorablereward”
7/13/2014 3:45:32Gotta focus on resting up and trying my best to get a good clean start for the semester…. *sigh*
7/14/2014 0:03:25Can’t believe the World Cup is already over! The next time there’s a World Cup I’ll have graduated from Samwell. ( ⊙﹏⊙)
7/14/2014 0:05:41(BTW: Ransom & Holster are pretty ecstatic since they were rooting for Germany. I know this because they kept sending intoxicated selfies.)
7/14/2014 1:07:11Together!! They’re adorable!! “@Kheradihr : @omgcheckplease together or separately? Because it sounds like your phone is getting blown up.”
7/14/2014 2:08:33I’ll tell ‘em that! (If they ask for your # I’ll say you’re not from Samwell.)“ @omgcheckplease ngl, they’re always adorable. Always.”
7/15/2014 2:12:27“Junior’s playing hockey up at Samwell. It’s not football but it’s got more contact that figure skating.” Thanks dad…
7/15/2014 2:17:06Figure skating was a hard sport. Sorry it couldn’t be football. Sorry I’m not a quarterback.
7/15/2014 2:17:16Ugh. Imma Skype Shitty.
7/15/2014 3:01:04@songstar05 *sigh*…thanks
7/15/2014 3:02:56@Kheradihr he’s really not that bad…we’re just different is all.
7/15/2014 17:31:44Apologies for any downer tweets yesterday. When all of your friends are 1,050 miles away in MA sometimes you gotta rant on the interwebs.
7/15/2014 17:32:58BUT TODAY IS A NEW DAY! ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ
7/15/2014 18:15:28FB chat w\ Chowder today: “lol those mini-pies were great!! do you think you’ll bake alot when we get back to samwell?” oh, you sweet child.
7/16/2014 17:34:08Jack’s Bday is on the 3rd, but we don’t get back to school til the 13th. Which means his surprise party is gonna be even more of a surprise.
7/16/2014 17:34:34(Which was totally Shitty’s idea. Quote: “Oh my fucking Christ the look on that beautiful motherfucker’s face when we yell SURPRISE.”)
7/16/2014 17:35:35(Don’t get me started on Jack & Shitty’s relationship. No one understands it but it just somehow works. Kind of like Johnson.)
7/16/2014 17:36:27((Who is apparently using his Samwell degree to wander the Appalachian Trail. “I’m going to find myself haha.”))
7/16/2014 17:38:00ANYWAY I mention all this since I’m making a maple sugar crusted apple pie for Our Dear Captain’s B-day & am testing out a recipe tonight!!!
7/18/2014 0:29:17Camp’s ending soon…I’m not quietly sobbing into my campers’ terrariums; certainly not. ;~; #counselorlyfe
7/18/2014 0:30:22“Mr. Bittle, are you gonna be here next year?” I DON’T KNOW, SEYOUNG, I JUST DON’T KNOW.
7/19/2014 0:12:16Someone legitimately just asked me if I knew how to dance.
7/19/2014 0:13:01Not sure if shade or for serious.
7/19/2014 0:13:42Sweetheart, my depths are hidden and *spectacular*.
7/20/2014 15:35:45I keep having these dreams…I’m back at Samwell and it’s the Fall and I’m on North Quad or walking down the River with the boys…
7/20/2014 15:36:51And then suddenly I’m back at Faber and it’s that playoff game all over again…
7/20/2014 15:38:14…and then I usually I wake up and go through Ransom’s instagram or look at recipes or something until I fall back asleep.
7/21/2014 5:15:30http://t.co/mKAoT4DPxw #QueenBey
7/22/2014 2:55:37(Is it pretentious to make a tag with your own name in it? ._.???)
7/22/2014 2:57:59Y'all tweet me your questions, comments, and concerns! I feel like I haven’t *talked* to anyone all day! #EricBittleAMA ヽ(ˇっˇ)ﾉ
7/22/2014 3:00:17@kmchro I mean, I make all my own pie crusts? But you know, I like to think I’m making art but other people think they’re just making pies.
7/22/2014 3:02:08@kmchro Oh my LORD that sounded condescending. Re-answer–BOTTOM LINE: as long as you’re making pies you can DO NO WRONG! It’s about the <3.
7/22/2014 3:03:29@kmchro [But anyway. I’m just real picky. ;) ] #EricBittleAMA #WhatTagAmIUsing #lol
7/22/2014 3:38:31@capn_madd_katt omg! I do love making cookies. & it’s always fun to bake cakes. Oh–but brownies! Croissants…this question isn’t fair. :/
7/22/2014 3:40:13@sarahindie Uhhhh, I blast “Call Your Girlfriend” in my room LIKE IT’S MY JOB. (」ﾟヘﾟ)」♪♪
7/22/2014 3:41:04@capn_madd_katt Oh my gosh!!!! ヽ(・ω・ヽ*)
7/22/2014 3:42:42@capn_madd_katt I know, right??? It’s this whole delicious world of food! But tbh–for me at least? Pies will always take the cake….#puns!
7/22/2014 4:00:35@justchelle Oooh I need more than 140 chara. for this! You know, me & the Boys were talkin bout this actually? Everyone has their own story.
7/22/2014 4:02:41@justchelle Apparently Bad Bob had Jack on the ice before his 3rd birthday? Can you imagine that? Lil’ Jack in tiny baby skates??
7/22/2014 4:03:59@justchelle But I digress. I started when I was abt 7 and really got into it when I was 8 and 9. Which is hard when you’re growing up in GA!
7/22/2014 4:04:28@capn_madd_katt #oops indeed! Sorry!!
7/22/2014 4:06:39@justchelle Babies dressed in costumes. ;~; Babies on skates. ;~; File under: Things That Make Eric Bittle’s Heart Swell. #EricBittleAMA
7/22/2014 4:08:30@sarahindie Sorry that I’m sharing the singles on my playlist one by one! :) (If it is fierce and has a good beat, it’s probably on there!!)
7/22/2014 4:09:33@justchelle Ohh!!! You can do it! It can be really scary, I know.
7/22/2014 4:13:50@justchelle Thanks for asking! Have a good day! (Or night–wherever you are in the world!)
7/22/2014 16:05:33@EMTZAlex Haha, I did end up finally going go bed :) BUT. It’s a 2-week sleepaway/day camp where some of our campers get dropped off each AM
7/22/2014 16:08:18@EMTZAlex Wasn’t ever a camper myself (bc it’s RIDIC. expensive omg), but a friend of my mother recommended it to me in high school
7/22/2014 16:11:20THX for asking me questions last night! :) It’s kinda like the team’s tumblr but w/ less questions about Shitty’s mustache. #EricBittleAMA
7/23/2014 13:57:15“Do you know what you’re going to major in yet, Dicky?” Unless Samwell starts a Pastries Studies major then no, mother, I haven’t a clue.
7/23/2014 13:58:37“Ooh! What about history? You like history! Bob was saying that Jack loves history.” My mother and Bob Zimmermann are on first name basis.
7/23/2014 14:01:48“Can you believe we MET him, Dicky? He was so tall. And goodness gracious, so handsome. He and Jack!” Mother, please.
7/23/2014 14:07:17“What’re Justin & Adam majoring in? Or that boy with the mustache? ‘Mr. Crappy’. What an awful awful name.” #MamaBittle
7/23/2014 14:08:43“Does his mother call him that??? Why doesn’t he have a first name!!” I’m dying.
7/23/2014 14:27:57@VictoriaPyrrhi She’s just ridiculous–but in a wonderful way. （U‿U；）
7/23/2014 14:56:59@Kheradihr omfg dream come true??? But Samwell College as part of Samwell U. only confers degrees like English, Poli Sci, Bio or Chem. :/
7/23/2014 15:00:40@Kheradihr I heard abt girl who majored in American Studies? She focused on 1980s HipHop. Maybe I could do the baking traditions of the US?
7/23/2014 15:02:20@Kheradihr But u know…maybe I should do something practical. I’m good at baking but making a living from it is diff…esp in this economy.
7/23/2014 15:02:38@Kheradihr (oh Lord I’m starting to sound like my father)
7/23/2014 15:04:29@Kheradihr *gasp* A summer abroad in Paris. (ღ˘◡˘ღ)
7/23/2014 17:01:42My mother is like this 100% of the time. <3 #MamaBittle #BadBobsBFF #MrCrappy
7/23/2014 18:55:54゜✧ penitus potes de fonte sapientiae ✧゜ #SamwellUniversity
7/23/2014 18:58:41Sorry but not sorry. I really like my school. #SamwellUniversity
7/23/2014 19:00:11Hopefully I don’t end up hating it after the “Sophomore Slump”. Shitty said it happened to him and made him kinda jaded. ( °﹏°)
7/24/2014 22:59:16I think Jack’s anxious about me being able to practice come August. “how do you feel? tried like before?”
7/24/2014 23:01:43It makes sense because we do play better together…I probs shouldn’t even be tweeting about this tbh. :/
7/24/2014 23:03:37On a completely diff. note–should I hire a professional photographer to take pictures of my pies? #CherryPieYearbookPhotos
7/24/2014 23:15:24@Kheradihr Oh my GOD…Pies and Pucks: A Hockey Pastry Calendar. All proceeds go to Samwell Hockey Community Giveback (*‿*)
7/25/2014 18:15:03Voice tag meme? But y'all hear me every time I vlog…
7/26/2014 14:12:43People are always surprised when they hear me call my dad “sir”. Well, to be fair, they also get confused when I refer to him as “Coach”.
7/26/2014 14:13:33But I swear that “sir” is a Southern thing!! My dad still calls his dad sir too! #southernboys
7/26/2014 19:50:22I just realized that I didn’t lock the door to my room in the Haus. Ransom and Holster and Shitty have been there all summer.
7/26/2014 19:51:38Do you just ever have moments when you realize you should’ve been worrying about something for 2 months?????
7/26/2014 19:52:24OH NO LORD… SHITTY LIKES TO BE NAKED EVERYWHERE!!!
7/26/2014 19:52:49MY BED
7/26/2014 19:53:38Oh my goodness I need to text Lardo. She’s the only one I can trust…
7/26/2014 21:14:27OK Y'ALL TURN OFF THE KLAXONS… Lardo said she locked my room a week after I moved in my stuff. Thank God for team managers. #NotPaidEnough
7/26/2014 21:16:12@rad_coolswag Yes!! That’s what happened. Tho I don’t think she had to kick anyone out…I swear if my teammates did weird stuff in there…
7/26/2014 21:16:33@rad_coolswag (I love them, but they’re really weird.)
7/27/2014 0:32:34@capn_madd_katt Thanks for waiting with bated breath for the all clear! (・∀・)
7/27/2014 1:33:22“@lalaluma1994 @omgcheckplease does he lounge naked on the couch with a throw pillow over his wing wang?” A throw pillow would be *generous*
7/27/2014 1:34:35@capn_madd_katt Rans and Holtzy are some of the mischievous people on the planet. 9_9
7/27/2014 4:52:09@lndarden I try. ヽ(ˇっˇ)ﾉ
7/27/2014 16:57:44As much as I can’t wait to get to #SamwellUniversity, I’ll really miss small town Georgia. It’s got its charms.
7/27/2014 17:34:08Just spotted a family of five in matching camo outfits wandering through downtown; Nevermind–GET ME OUT OF HERE.
7/27/2014 17:37:16Like. Who would sell that? Who would *buy* that??? WHY???? (┛◕︿◕)┛彡┻━┻
7/27/2014 17:38:45I tell the boys this kind of stuff happens all the time and they never believe me.
7/27/2014 17:51:48@VictoriaPyrrhi It’s so real!! -_-;;
7/27/2014 18:27:48@DontCallMeBekhy But in all seriousness, Johnson reportedly made Samwell’s 50 Most Beautiful 4 years in a row. >_> #omgcheckplease
7/27/2014 18:29:37“@DontCallMeBekhy @omgcheckplease who’s the hottest member of the team, bitty?” Uh, meeee of *COURSE*. http://t.co/gW8BIju5pw
7/27/2014 18:37:43@capn_madd_katt Aw, thanks!!! But… #IsItOctoberYet?
7/27/2014 19:02:24@capn_madd_katt I don’t know a thing about science fiction, but that sounds fun! I love costumes, so take pictures of all the sci fi people!
7/27/2014 21:15:40[“If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe” - Carl Sagan] Johnson quoted this at me once…so deep
7/28/2014 3:49:23Things I didn’t know Shitty was doing this summer: studying for the LSAT. #MrCrappy
7/28/2014 3:50:43Considering I studied for the SATs a year and a half ago, that sounds AWFUL. Ugh.
7/28/2014 3:52:55Things I didn’t know Ransom was doing this summer: following me on Twitter. （⊙︿⊙ ) #KingofSelfies
7/28/2014 3:55:00DO NOT WATCH MY VLOG RANSOM. Y'ALL PROMISED. #SacredOaths #Friendship #SamwellMensHockey #GotYourBack…If you find it that is…
7/28/2014 20:06:20@DontCallMeBekhy Ransom was in it too this year. (￣△￣) He doesn’t really have an ego, but the no. of selfies increased…exponentially.
7/28/2014 21:37:07Okay, so, I’d be a great babysitter, right? (Right.) Me and the kids would BAKE and GO SKATING watch REAL HOUSEWIVES. #qualitychildcare
7/28/2014 21:38:44So if any of you go to #SamwellUniversity tell your profs. I’m free on weekday nights & afternoons depending on my class sched. #babysitting
7/28/2014 21:39:38@VidTuesday Oh my godness, thank you!!!! Quality endorsements right here, people!!!
7/28/2014 21:40:49I promise not to expose any children to my teammates.
7/28/2014 22:27:33(My teammates swore on the Samwell Hockey Bylaws not to invade my vlog, but if you go to Samwell, please don’t tempt them into watching it.)
7/28/2014 22:28:40Yeah, it’s on the internet, but that doesn’t mean I want everyone IRL checking up on me. Y'all know what I mean? (HI RANS)
7/28/2014 22:57:34@maddiestern Oh my gosh–Okay! Should I go to you or are y'all coming over to Georgia??
7/28/2014 22:59:41@maddiestern Also–to misquote Spice Girls–“if you wanna be my siblings, you gotta get with my very weird and fratty teammates.”
7/28/2014 23:18:47Well, I guess I’m officially taking applications for anyone who wishes to adopt me. I don’t know what my mother’s going to say about this.
7/29/2014 0:03:17@warblerland13 Not gonna lie, but your baking aptitude might come into consideration. ._.!!!
7/29/2014 0:04:03@maddiestern ***Still cooler than Georgia***
7/29/2014 0:07:05@hannahblaileee @maddiestern Oh, okay!! The more the merrier??? I hope I don’t accidentally start a cult here…
7/29/2014 0:09:24@warblerland13 I’m not sure about my abilities in cushioned architecture, but the baking sounds fun! (Apologies in adv. for my friends.)
7/29/2014 0:10:10@warblerland13 They eat/do weird things and smoke a lot of pot and are sometimes really moody. (R/H;Shitty;Jack; respectively)
7/29/2014 0:10:40@warblerland13 That’s all give and no take!!
7/29/2014 2:28:51“@capn_madd_katt Pretty sure that following @omgcheckplease is one the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life.“ヽ(；▽；)ノ y'all are so SWEET.
7/29/2014 4:24:46RT @capn_madd_katt: @omgcheckplease I’ve been pretty stressed lately, & your tweets have made me smile more in the past week than during th…
7/29/2014 4:26:11@DontCallMeBekhy Holster was complaining. :P Don’t know why though…
7/29/2014 11:21:43@DontCallMeBekhy Oh my goodness. That is *AMAZING* (╯°□°）╯….I LOVE DANCE ROUTINES!!
7/29/2014 19:18:49THE SAMWELL 2014-2015 COURSE SCHEDULE IS OUT
7/29/2014 19:19:51(For those confused, students at Samwell finalize their schedules the 2nd week of the semester. The 1st week is spent “shopping” classes~~~)
7/29/2014 19:20:57brb looking for courses about food *crosses fingers* *prayer hands emoji*
7/29/2014 19:24:09@HockeyBabbler I know I have to take English and a QR (quantitative reasoning)…but I’d love to take something cool..
7/29/2014 19:26:50I could get my language requirements out of the way and take L2 French…Jack knows French. (I know it’s different, but still.)
7/29/2014 19:27:44@HockeyBabbler Jack apparently likes shopping for classes! He just sits in a bunch of history lectures for two weeks like a creeper.
7/29/2014 19:28:24@HockeyBabbler (But I think he plans his schedule out way in advance…can’t have any classes interfering with practice.)
7/29/2014 19:31:05@HockeyBabbler Shitty took that & thought it was fun? But Shitty’s also an undercover genius so I take everything he says w/ a heap of salt.
7/29/2014 19:33:26LARDO TEXT: “Bitty! WGSS120/HIST376 : Women, Food, & American Culture!!” HOLY FUCKING SHIT.
7/30/2014 2:12:42@warblerland13 OH MY GOSH. YOU’RE TOO ADORABLE.
7/30/2014 2:20:24…So seniors get priority for 300-level history classes. I asked the boys via group text. The only class on food taught at Samwell. ;~;
7/30/2014 2:21:40If Jack gets to take a women/food/culture course and I don’t I’ll literally scream. Jack Text: “sounds fun”
7/30/2014 2:22:47IT’S MORE THAN FUN JACK ZIMMERMANN IT’S MY SOUL
7/30/2014 2:28:08@warblerland13 Oh, honey, I’m really not sure. I don’t wanna make any Internet promises I can’t keep! (Being a big bro is serious business!)
7/30/2014 2:28:44I have to get in that class. I’m not above playing dirty. I’ll bake a bribery pie. Wouldn’t be my first.
7/30/2014 2:30:40@silmerin OH GOOD IDEA. I’m going to sit there every day until they call Samwell Security and drag me out.
7/30/2014 2:34:31“Rans Text: oooooh shit, i heard bout that class. its super popular some dude made croissants for his final project. good luck bits lol”
7/30/2014 2:40:49“Holster Text: whelp don’t wanna sound like a dick here, but you should probably give up now & save yourself the crushing disappointment.”
7/30/2014 2:46:02“Jack text: we have AM practice you can’t take it anyway”
7/30/2014 3:21:26@korimichele 9_9 He rarely does.
7/30/2014 22:39:21Is it sad that I’m already collecting pregame music ♫~~~♫
7/30/2014 22:42:15Fun Fact: one of the oldest home videos we have is me dancing in a diaper to Whitney Houston. (Not to brag, but I had MOVES.)
7/30/2014 23:14:26@twsomething O_O!!! OH MY GOSSSH
7/30/2014 23:20:46@VidTuesday Oh shoot I just checked em out…Love it! A tad scissor sister-y? Chromeo-esque? Justice? Thank you for the recommendation!
7/30/2014 23:46:18@capn_madd_katt I have a friend you might get along with. (Hint he’s 6'1”, 210 pounds, Canadian, and his name is Jack Zimmermann”)
7/31/2014 18:16:59Some back to school shopping with #MamaBittle tomorrow. ( ・◇・)
7/31/2014 18:18:47Holster and Shitty are some of the funniest people I know, but nothing compares to my mother’s interactions with strangers.
7/31/2014 18:23:13Coach is more reserved, a lil’ moody? Suuuper analytical. My mother will ask how your grandma’s doing within 5 minutes of meeting you?
7/31/2014 18:23:39Guess who take after. 9_9
8/1/2014 15:24:21AT THE MALL. Getting ready to look fierce for the Fall. (๑╹◡╹๑)
8/1/2014 15:25:30…Also, today I’m telling my mom that I’m getting my haircut? Considering I’ve had the same haircut since I was 14, she might freak out..
8/1/2014 15:29:35@AliaNurHannaH Uummmm a LOT of question asking. When she sees what I want she’ll flip. It’s a bit “flashy” …if you know what I mean
8/1/2014 17:12:37We’re trapped in the GAP bc it’s raining a litter of puppies outside. Sending Rans selfies / debating whether to tell mom haircut news.
8/1/2014 17:13:43“You know I’ve been thinking about getting a twitter acct, Dicky. I could follow *#SamwellUniversity* and *Bob* and *you*.” NO MOTHER NO
8/1/2014 18:00:30(Didn’t bring up anything at our lunch spot. (We talked about how there was a love triangle going on between 3 of the waiters instead))
8/1/2014 18:01:33(At this rate I wonder how I’m ever going to tell my mother actual important things. Like…stuff…about people…I might like………..)
8/1/2014 18:46:40Well, I told her and even showed her a picture of what I had in mind. She said “Oh!” & then was quiet for most of the car ride back… Ugh.
8/1/2014 18:48:11It’s not like I’m getting my ears pierced, jeez.
8/1/2014 20:30:59@capn_madd_katt Ah yes. Getting a tattoo would be helpful in identifying my body after my parents kill me for getting a tattoo.
8/2/2014 17:12:56I can definitely say I feel better at the end of the summer than I did at the beginning of it! :)
8/2/2014 17:16:58( I told that to Jack but he’s still worried…or guilty. I hate stereotypes but the whole apologetic Canadian thing might be true. :/ )
8/3/2014 11:26:34@BunnieSocks Oh my gosh! I’m still always a bit shocked that anyone could find my life interesting… ._.!!
8/3/2014 18:51:08@BunnieSocks Oh my GOSH, that comment made a young man in Madison, Georgia blush a WHOLE BUNCH.
8/3/2014 18:55:26♡ ♡ ♡ FLAWLESS ♡ ♡ ♡
~✿#QueenBey✿~
8/3/2014 18:56:19if you listen to a song 32 times in a row and are still crying what does that mean
8/4/2014 0:42:08@maddiestern Ah!! Will do!!!
8/4/2014 2:01:27@DontCallMeBekhy It’s already in the mail~~~ :O
8/4/2014 18:18:45Okay but I literally don’t understand how anyone can listen to country music.
8/4/2014 18:20:48And by anyone I mean Jack. You’re Canadian how did that even happen.
8/4/2014 18:24:41I guess people find southern accents charming? But I’m like, “ew no why I sound like a cartoon character, ughhhh.”
8/4/2014 18:27:39FUN FACT: a week before Samwell I spent 24hrs trying to get rid of it.
RESULT: nothing I still have it.
8/4/2014 18:30:42Ransom has an accent. Shitty has an accent. Jack has a crazy French-Canadian accent. Holster sounds like he’s from upstate NY.
8/4/2014 18:32:51But as soon as I say “y'all” they’re all like HUR HUR HUR BITTY’S FROM A FARM DERP DERP #SamwellMensHockey #GotYourBack #mydearestfriends
8/4/2014 18:37:02@kmchro Oh yes! If mine counts, yours counts too!! It’s only fair. Y'all say cawfee. So weird.
8/4/2014 18:38:56“@annuh_bailey But wait, does Jack ever speak French when he’s stressed/angry/whatever?” Oh he def called me short+annoying my frog year.
8/4/2014 18:39:57RT @twsomething: @omgcheckplease y'all is the best way to describe a bunch of people. What am I gonna say, “you guys? youse guys?” Please.
8/4/2014 18:42:18“@kmchro Cawfee is such an important pronunciation. Esp with Dunkin in front of it 8))” Dunkins are everywhere! Samwell has THREE??? WHY???
8/4/2014 18:43:32@sarah_connors @kmchro ummmm I just don’t see what’s so great about them tbh
8/4/2014 18:47:25Not quite home in Georgia, not quite settled in Massachusetts. I have no idea what region of America I truly belong to anymore. ;~;
8/4/2014 18:48:19@kmchro @sarah_connors are they, @kmchro, are they really
8/4/2014 18:48:52@wiiingeeet26 Rans is from Toronto! Shitty’s from a suburb of Boston.
8/4/2014 19:40:03@StarkWords Never been; who knows…
8/4/2014 20:16:42“@VictoriaPyrrhi Just wait until one of them says it by accident. #accidentallanguageacquisition” oh I will GUFFAW.
8/4/2014 21:44:15Do you ever look at your life and think “well if no one ever falls in love with me my baked goods will keep me company”?
8/4/2014 21:48:22@Kheradihr Maybe I should stop looking… :/
8/4/2014 21:48:50@Kheradihr Drat!! Spouses always ruin plans don’t they?
8/5/2014 2:20:38@rad_coolswag Oh my goodness, sweetheart!! It’s going to be hard for a while, being away from home, but you’ll get through it. (๑╹◡╹๑)
8/5/2014 2:21:28@rad_coolswag My first week at Samwell was…not gonna lie…really tough. The boys all seemed weird to me and I was scared of everything…
8/5/2014 2:23:14@rad_coolswag But I cannot WAIT to get back. It takes time but you’ll find your place!! (and your own zany group of friends!)
8/5/2014 2:28:33To anyone starting college in the next few weeks–it’s normal to be nervous!! Oh my LORD, I know I was…But you can do it! (/ ﾟ▽ﾟ)/
8/5/2014 23:49:37Shitty, Ransom & Holster are apparently “getting the Haus ready” for when everyone comes back….. ಠ_ಠ
8/5/2014 23:51:38@DreamerFayEllen I hope it’s something like that. These boys never cease to amaze me.
8/5/2014 23:52:22Please don’t scare the freshmen. We can’t make new ones.
8/5/2014 23:53:32@00Hex I’ve yet to take a pie on a plane, but you can guess what item one is on my Return Agenda
8/5/2014 23:56:56I worry immensely about my adopted son, the sweet baby Chowder. If the frogs’ 1st Haus party is anything like mine, he might actually die.
8/6/2014 0:00:40“I’m fine with drinking! Some of the guys bought wine coolers at prom…illegally. ” My wonderful innocent darling goalie-baby Chowder.
8/6/2014 0:04:18@saxihighlandck He’s taller than me and weighs more than I do, but I can’t help but fret. He just has no idea.
8/6/2014 3:13:54@rad_coolswag He’s just a lil’ ol’ baby. So small.
8/6/2014 3:26:0711:30 PM is obviously bake-a-pie o'clock.
8/6/2014 3:27:14Sometimes I think I have a problem and then I’m like it’s a delicious problem so it’s fine.
8/6/2014 3:28:17SKYPE AND BAKE!!!! #MamaBittle is going to chat with Mr.Crappy and the gang while I get the oven started.
8/6/2014 3:29:24(She was going to go to bed but got excited about talking to my teammates. Oh, mother. You have work and errands in the AM!)
8/6/2014 3:31:01@capn_madd_katt I think I’m gonna keep it simple with a pecan. I got some WONDERFUL pecans at the farmer’s market the other day.
8/6/2014 3:34:14Fantastic! Getting all the ingredients mixed together while Shitty talks to me and my mother about his senior thesis. He is wearing pants.
8/6/2014 3:38:01@capn_madd_katt YOU POOR SOUL!!
8/6/2014 3:41:14Mama left; Coach just popped into the kitchen & asked who the hell the shirtless, mustachioed, long-haired young man on my laptop was. ._.
8/6/2014 18:46:39Is there a hockey butt fairy? If I do 20 squats before bed and leave a note under my pillow will I get mine?
8/6/2014 20:35:47Rans Text: “dude ur butt’s a beaut”. Awwww. Thanks, Ransom! #SamwellMensHockey
8/6/2014 20:48:43@hannza …Only when he is explicitly forced to. 9_9 I chose to live with him too.
8/6/2014 22:22:39Awwww, Holster finally uploaded the pics from Lardo’s art show to FB. We clean up nicely if I do say so myself.
8/6/2014 22:24:17And I don’t know the first thing about art, but I love how Lardo just makes these paintings twice her size. I think they’re beautiful.
8/6/2014 22:26:50(Plus, have you ever heard five college hockey players earnestly trying to dissect modern art?)
8/6/2014 22:30:37Shitty: Ah yes, Lardo, brilliant visual metaphor this
Holster: ah yes indeed
Rans: ah yes rather indeed
Lardo: you guys are idiots
8/8/2014 3:01:21@capn_madd_katt Pretty good!! Starting to get ready for my sophomore year at Samwell!
8/8/2014 3:05:24Sophomore Fall Semester Goal: get half of the team to go with me to a baking convention in Boston. ;~;
8/10/2014 4:30:05RT @superwholocke10: @omgcheckplease BITTY BABY PLEASE BE OKAY.
8/10/2014 4:31:34@superwholocke10 Oh my goodness I’m so so so so okay!
8/11/2014 18:12:02CANNOT WAIT UNTIL I’M ON CAMPUS AT #SAMWELLUNIVERSITY
8/11/2014 18:18:06Some of the frogs are moving into their freshmen dorms tomorrow. Jack just got in from Montreal yesterday. EVERYONE’S THERE ;~;
8/11/2014 18:24:24Shitty text: “Whelp, Jack managed to get even more fucking swoll. yesternoon gals & dudes were walking into trees cause of the beaut”
8/11/2014 18:27:00I get an excess number of texts from Shitty re: Jack’s physical appearance
8/11/2014 18:39:03@VidTuesday I dunno! I haven’t seen him yet! I’m actually excited to see how all my teammates look. Shitty’s hair is RIDICULOUS apparently.
8/11/2014 18:45:04@Kheradihr I can try. But it would really just be the words “Adonis” “beaut” and “fucking captain over here” over and over again
8/11/2014 19:22:30@twsomething This week!!!!
8/11/2014 19:43:10@twsomething My mother & I are driving up! She’ll help me set up my room (AND the kitchen). I told her not to be shocked by…the Haus.
8/11/2014 20:08:17@twsomething OH MY GOD. Shitty wants to tell her his first name, but she’s all “Oh! No, no, no! I’ll respect your privacy.” She’s so close.
8/11/2014 20:09:38@twsomething I told her to ready herself for beer cans + all sorts of under garments.
8/12/2014 1:48:03@BunnieSocks Oooh! It’ll be fun! Just steer clear of frat parties for the first few weeks…or semesters.
8/12/2014 19:32:34Finally ready for school! (╹▽╹) #newhaircut http://t.co/xGGF8aMG9M
8/12/2014 19:36:56@twsomething :) you’re too sweet!
8/12/2014 21:53:16@EMTZAlex I was about to get out of the car!!!
8/12/2014 23:03:17@CanisLuka Ah, but so few thoughts to count between them.
8/13/2014 2:34:07Coach hasn’t noticed my haircut yet…Um. Probably 'cause I’ve been wearing a #SamwellMensHockey cap since he got home. (⊙﹏⊙)
8/13/2014 18:05:53Every selfie my mother has tried to take on this car ride has failed beautifully. #MamaBittle
8/13/2014 20:25:58Just had a 20 minute convo w/ my mother about Samwell’s old “1 in 4, maybe more” saying. She didn’t seem freaked out by it…
8/13/2014 20:31:27Why am I such a wimp. （◡﹏◡）
8/13/2014 21:10:47@RaspberryStripe Nooope! I haven’t grown at all! If any of the boys have grown and I haven’t I’ll be so mad.
8/13/2014 21:41:37@RaspberryStripe Well…I haven’t been allowed to skate this summer. And won’t get cleared for play/conditioning until I get back…
8/13/2014 21:42:08@RaspberryStripe So I didn’t have a chance to get “swoll” like other guys on my team
8/14/2014 1:45:59Rhode Island #soclose #SamwellUniversity
8/14/2014 1:52:58@rad_coolswag Athletic teams get to school a bit earlier than everyone else to start preseason!
8/14/2014 3:38:33Haus Sweet Haus. :)
8/14/2014 3:39:17Aaaaaand my mother definitely just saw Shitty’s junk. #HausSweetHaus #SamwellMensHockey #GotYourBack #MrCrappy
8/14/2014 19:51:59~✧ First (Birthday) Pie of Sophomore Year ✧~
Maple Sugar Crusted Apple Pie
#BittleBakes http://t.co/YTHJ9hnYdA
8/14/2014 19:54:07(Ransom demanded that he be the one to take the pie out the oven 9_9)
(And be photographed with it)
8/14/2014 19:57:34Also Ransom owns Samwell Hockey sunglasses and croakies unironically and Holster hates him for it. They certainly are…accessories.
8/14/2014 19:58:29I would worry about posting Jack’s surprise birthday pie on Twitter, but HAHAHA LIKE HE’D EVER SEE IT
8/14/2014 20:04:22Those curtains? Got em today with #MamaBittle. AND we threw SO many things away. Lord, I can pay my tuition from recycling those beer cans.
8/14/2014 20:09:12I also had to talk my mother out of buying Jack one of these: http://t.co/FMbiDIrtJp “Oh, dicky, we’ll take pictures and send 'em to Bob!”
8/14/2014 21:42:25@VictoriaPyrrhi I wouldn’t call it an obsession, but a few of the boys own a pair! I’ll find out the owners if I spot any about the Haus.
8/14/2014 21:47:27He liked the pie. :)
8/14/2014 21:50:11This is also the ONLY Haus “party” my mother is ever invited to…
8/15/2014 18:05:09I hope the frogs are in the mood for mini-pies when they’re done with Shitty’s tour of the Haus.
8/15/2014 18:07:51Awwww, I remember that tour!! That was the first time I baked a pie here!
Ah, the memories! (︶▽︶)
8/15/2014 18:09:05…Who’s gonna give next year’s frogs the Haus tour after Shitty graduates? ._.?
8/15/2014 20:17:16Y'all are tweeting that I should host the Haus tour next year, but oh my GOSH! I could never do it like Shitty…He’s so charismatic.
8/15/2014 20:17:56@VictoriaPyrrhi To be honest…that thought never occurred to me.
8/15/2014 20:18:14@warblerland13 Really? Everyone? ._.!! Wow…
8/15/2014 20:19:58@warblerland13 I guess I am since I do a vlog and all. But there’s a difference btwn that n’ touring round a group of hockey players. ..
8/15/2014 20:20:31@VictoriaPyrrhi This is and will be an undeniable fact. Hmmm.
8/15/2014 20:23:16@warblerland13 Now look UP to is a bit of an exaggeration. ;)
8/16/2014 12:54:44Waking up to the sound of Ransom & Holster bringing solo cups, mixers, and a ton of six packs into the Haus. It’s strangely comforting.
8/16/2014 17:05:54Apparently not *all* of the residents of the Haus appreciate Queen Bey…tho to be fair I was blasting it pretty loud.

(Sorry, Jack.)
8/16/2014 23:56:53“Wait….what’s a kegster?” - The Sweet Baby Chowder. Lord, if I’d a skirt, I’d hide you under it.
8/16/2014 23:58:54@saxihighlandck Bless his tiny frog heart
8/17/2014 0:00:00@saxihighlandck All he know is how to stop pucks. Dear child.
8/17/2014 0:52:54~Predictions for tonight, The First Unofficial Kegster of the Year:
8/17/2014 0:55:07R&H will enthusiastically welcome all athletic teams; esp. Samwell’s women’s athletic teams. Pong prediction: 3-0 for all teams with L.
8/17/2014 0:58:16S will draw frogs:C&D&N into a long stirring tale, probs recounting heroics of our captain, J. Brief explanation of Samwell Hockey Bylaws.
8/17/2014 0:59:25J will occasionally sulk around 1st floor policing frog blood-alcohol levels.
Occasional lax bro defenestrations.
8/17/2014 0:59:53C will NOT be allowed to do a kegster Lord help me
8/17/2014 1:03:44B (yours truly) will def finish this wonderful cup of whatevs R&H made / get real cute / **werk it** for the 1st time since May. 'swawesome.
8/17/2014 1:05:45@josephong I probably shouldn’t tweet while drinking but my good sir I can guarantee you whatever dark secrets exist I already know them! ;)
8/18/2014 0:26:24Well…I find out if I get cleared to skate pretty soon :T
8/18/2014 0:27:13I’m so darn anxious. I really miss practicing with the boys and I want to be ready for the season…
8/18/2014 0:31:06Jack keeps asking how I feel like he’ll be able to clear me himself. Probably why he’s hanging around the kitchen so much…
8/18/2014 0:33:40Ugh, some things you just can’t tweet about you know? Though I doubt anyone on the Princeton hockey team is following my silly lil twitter.
8/18/2014 18:11:45Sitting with Lardo in the stands of the Samwell football stadium, watching the team do stair sprints.
8/18/2014 18:16:10Lardo: 2 types of bros, Bits. never-shirtless bros & always-shirtless bros
Me: *basically*. I’m totally the former
Lardo: Bitties & Shitties
8/18/2014 23:33:58@candecerpa OH my goodness. this is clearly the name of my sidevlog with Shitty.
8/19/2014 18:25:55Not saying that Jack has questionable taste in music, but if he had a radio station it’d be WJLZ 90.8 Oldies.
8/19/2014 18:37:15I better get used to it since I live across the hall now.
…I wonder if Johnson ever got to hear Jack sing along to “Georgia on My Mind”.
8/20/2014 18:21:37Oh my GOD, everyone should be required to binge-watch reality TV with Holster at least once.
8/20/2014 18:25:39Holster: No! No no NO! DAMMIT, CARLA DON’T GO BACK TO THAT DICK. BITTY NEVER LET A MAN TREAT YOU LIKE THIS.
8/20/2014 18:30:22Holster: Jeeessus chRIST CARLA YOU’RE A MESS. You’rE A MESS.
Ransom: bro, this is so fake
Holster: YOU’RE FAKE
8/20/2014 18:38:56Jack: Hey–
Holster: NO LEAVE
8/21/2014 0:32:17Soooo apparently Chowder is weird about touching pucks when he’s not on the ice.
8/21/2014 0:37:07Shitty tossed him an old puck Johnson had saved & Chowder dropped it like it was sizzling:“Sorry. Er–Can I wash my hands? Please? S-sorry.”
8/21/2014 0:37:39@Kheradihr oh my goodness I don’t want him to faint
8/21/2014 1:13:04@warblerland13 I honestly don’t think I’ll ever understand it. The wonderful child is so strange.
8/21/2014 16:20:54@BunnieSocks Oh my goodness, I know!! I think I was sore from conditioning during the whole month of September. ;~; It’s ups and downs!
8/21/2014 17:37:27Making brownies; listening to Ransom try to teach Jack Instagram.
8/21/2014 17:42:34Rans: and then you post it & just tag stuff. see? “#SamwellMensHockey #bros”
Jack: I…so how do I send it to myself.
Rans: what
8/22/2014 12:17:42~_~ weightlifting days are always so embarrassing for me….
8/23/2014 12:37:03Taking the long way back from Faber along the river. Seeing all the Wellies out and about. :)
8/24/2014 15:50:57It’s my dream…that one day we’re all gonna wake up before noon and sit at the kitchen table and have a nice Sunday brunch. ◕‿◕
8/24/2014 15:52:54And all the solo cups from the night before will have been thrown away and no one will be hungover and i’ll make a variety of pancakes. ★‿★
8/24/2014 23:17:20I gotta say: seeing the frogs asking upperclassmen for advice always gives my heart the fuzzies.
8/24/2014 23:23:05Dex: um, Ransom, should I take freshman bio?
Rans: totally-
Holtzy: ok 1st, Dex never ask Rans for advice he never goes to class & has a 4.0
8/24/2014 23:30:00Chowder: Wow! Basic drawing! Or wow!! Maybe sculpture? Oh oh WOW what about PAINTING.
Lardo: …let’s not…look at art courses right now
8/24/2014 23:35:51Shitty: sick professor
Jack: morning practice
Shitty:amazing lectures
Jack:morning practice
Shitty:..life changing
Jack:…morning practice
8/25/2014 3:27:26Hello, my name is Eric Bittle and I love baking, skating, feeding my teammates, and Beyoncé Knowles.
8/25/2014 17:49:30Jack just told me the coaches might move practice to a slightly diff. time…
“Which means you could take that Food & Culture Class?” ʘ_ʘ
8/25/2014 17:53:09“If you even get in that is”
Don’t you even play games with my heart, Jack Zimmermann.
8/25/2014 21:53:34Stress baked about classes, hockey, and a phone call with my dad. A boy can only make so many pies in a day… ( ◡﹏◡;）
8/25/2014 21:54:13“…We’re all fucking sexy. Why the FUCK are we all single?” - Shitty.
I just stress baked a rhubarb over that same thought, Mr. Knight.
8/25/2014 21:57:10Shitty just asked Jack why the fuck he’s single.
As of tweet, Jack is still stuttering out a convoluted response.
8/25/2014 21:57:53@omgcheckplease
“um” count: 6
“hockey” count: 18
8/25/2014 21:59:28@00Hex Ugh, true. But I’m pretty sure Johnson is still dating this girl he met his sophomore year. Johnson for cryin’ out loud!
8/25/2014 22:09:28@00Hex More like Johnson found the 1% of persons who was able to understand him! I miss his weird theories…
8/25/2014 22:10:26@hannza still waiting to have a very disappointing convo with my mom about…er…passing on the Bittle genes. &lt;_&lt;
8/26/2014 18:02:07At the Beach with the boys. :)
8/26/2014 18:02:22(Not, like, the actual beach. It’s what we Wellies call the shore of the Pond.)
8/26/2014 18:09:06(And the Pond isn’t actually a pond–it ’s a pretty large lake. There’s a map of campus somewhere online…)
8/26/2014 18:17:21lax bros are setting up for bocce ball a couple yards away and SO much hockey shade is being thrown its rerderkulousss
8/26/2014 18:20:53Holster: srsly? bocce ball? srsly??
Rans: dicks.
Dex: …and why do we hate the lacrosse team?
Shitty: LEEET ME TELL YOU A TALE
Chowder: yay
8/26/2014 18:24:13Jack: …Bittle, have you been transcribing all of our conversations on your phone?
Me: No.
(Yes.)
8/26/2014 18:27:34@omgcheckplease good luck with findin’ 'em, Cap'n. ;)
8/26/2014 18:37:56@korimichele Always more pies!!
8/27/2014 0:09:26Question: if I made the frogs sack lunches for the first day of classes would that be weird?
8/27/2014 0:09:42Answer: I already made them and they’re adorable.
8/27/2014 18:14:30#ERROR!
8/27/2014 18:14:53Jack: I can’t believe you bribed your way into my senior history seminar
Jack: are you tweeting what I’m saying
8/27/2014 18:16:22@omgcheckplease *our senior history seminar. We have to prepare a dish by the end of the semester, like you’re not asking me for help plzzz
8/27/2014 18:21:07I promise to give detailed updates on whenever Jack falls asleep during lecture, doodles in his notes, gives awkward presentations
8/28/2014 2:04:232 defensemn are in my room singing defying gravity and I can’t make themeave send hep
8/28/2014 2:05:01tryin totakemyphone
8/28/2014 2:10:38So I don’t know how this ended with them wrestling each other but whatever. I’m starting to get used to this. #HausSweetHaus
8/28/2014 22:36:26Every time someone on campus asks Jack for his autograph, Shitty, Ransom, and Holster also ask Jack for his autograph.
8/28/2014 22:40:04Holster: Oh my GOD, it’s Jack ZIMMERmann.
Ransom: Oh, Jack Zimmermann–sorry, sir, would you sign-
Shitty: PLEASE sign my buttcheek.
8/29/2014 2:09:59I’m really worried about our oven…
8/29/2014 2:10:45It’s stressing me out and I usually bake when I’m stressed but I can’t bake if it’s broken and it’s stressing me out.
8/29/2014 2:12:11@00Hex She’s just not heating properly. She’’s a pretty old oven so…maybe…she’s on her last legs. :(
8/29/2014 3:49:41@twsomething You might be right…Oh no…what type of person cries over a stupid old oven. :(
8/29/2014 18:59:16I’m just sitting on the kitchen floor staring at this oven.
8/29/2014 20:05:28@ialsolikewinter I think I am. Holster says he’s going to carry me to a student kitchen if I don’t get up off the floor.
8/30/2014 0:03:54OK, #SamwellMensLacrosse, we get it. Someone’s daddy could afford to buy y'all a sound system the size of a Honda Odyssey. Lord.
8/30/2014 0:08:15Holster is peepin on them through the kitchen window with binoculars “Beautiful tan skin and terrible taste in music. Typical lax bros.”
8/30/2014 0:13:12Okay, that was the scariest I’ve ever seen Jack and he’s literally shouted in my face before. #PrayForSamwellMensLacrosse
8/30/2014 0:15:45Uh-oh. And Shitty just bolted out the door after him. I was not expecting to livetweet this evening.
8/30/2014 0:22:11Holster: Jack’s talking to their captain and some other guy. I think lax captain wants Jack to chill. Shitty’s trying to mediate.
8/30/2014 0:23:54Holster: Oh, well. That was rude.
8/30/2014 0:30:14Jack and Shitty are back and the music is still blaring across the street… :/
8/30/2014 21:34:21Awkward moment when Dex asks me, Ransom & Holster: “So that 1 and 4 thing about Samwell…it’s not like…actually true, is it?” Oh, honey.
8/30/2014 21:42:40Now the frogs are arguing about it. You know you’re at Samwell when someone drops “heteronormative bullcrap” into casual conversation.
8/30/2014 21:43:53@warblerland13 Ahhh, 1 and 4 or more? Like 1 out of every 4 students here identifies as gay. Oh, Samwell.
8/30/2014 23:14:49(If anyone cares, the frogs argued about gender for 20 minutes and then Chowder pointed out that Dex has big ears and they got sidetracked)
8/30/2014 23:23:35@omgcheckplease I think Nursey’s exact words are “yo chill, Chowder, that’s how he was born”. Followed by a toothy grin.
8/31/2014 2:34:30The 2nd Annual Samwell Football-Quidditch Mixer is as insane as I expected it to be. #OnlyAtSamwell
8/31/2014 13:31:47@Bobby16may The application’s on the website! And you have to fill out the CommonApp too. It was so long ago…
8/31/2014 13:58:51@EMTZAlex I don’t play. The Quidditch team here is…way too intense. (And that’s coming from a person who plays with J. Zimmermann.)
8/31/2014 15:16:41Why does Holster get to belt Katy Perry but whenever I so much as hum Bey in the shower, I get yelled at by certain grumpy French-Canadians.
8/31/2014 15:17:51(Also, I never thought I’d be on a hockey team with guys who belted Katy Perry. Adam Birkholtz, you’ve got impressive range.)
9/1/2014 0:55:42@TanukiHero that’s what I’M saying!!! He needs to stop filling his head with all that Eric Church is what he needs. Ugh.
9/1/2014 1:00:05Lardo is curious about my Twitter presence. So I’m #EricBittleAMA!
9/1/2014 1:34:32@JuliaHass: Favorite Beyonce song?
Oh goodness…that’s like asking what’s my favorite pie. I’ll say “Crazy in Love”, but rn, “Partition”.
9/1/2014 1:37:12@capn_madd_katt: Can I adopt you as my brother? #EricBittleAMA
Y'all keep trying to adopt me! I’m flattered, but I’m 19? Is that even legal?
9/1/2014 1:51:13@justchelle have any of the guys taken the ice bucket challenge? #EricBittleAMA
Rans wants to so he can post a vid of himself shirtless. 9_9
9/1/2014 1:59:25@twsomething thing you’re most looking forward to this season? #EricBittleAMA
It may sound a lil’ cheesy, but…getting back to normal. :/
9/1/2014 2:11:15@justchelle re: picking a major. Oh! I’m seriously thinking abt American Studies. And yes, it IS because I could write my thesis on food…
9/1/2014 2:13:41@justchelle re: an awesome date. Umm, definitely cooking together would be fun. Maybe after a nice movie or day trip…hand-holding. ◕‿◕
9/2/2014 1:08:35@sarahindie Apparently, it’s a lot of things? Shitty just says they’re a bunch of preppy basics. I think one of them threw up in the Haus…
9/2/2014 1:10:04@gaynerd2000 Uhmmm. Middle school. Someone on a sports team. >_&lt; So cute…
9/2/2014 1:24:03Things my dad likes to bring up on the phone:
(1) Football
(2) My Not Having a Girlfriend
(3) How Hockey Has “Toughened Me Up”
(4) Football
9/2/2014 1:41:47@twsomething Thanks. :)
9/2/2014 1:44:48@korimichele haha but to be fair I asked him about the team back home…And I did tell him that I watched the Falcons game w/ Rans & Jack…
9/2/2014 2:46:27@capn_madd_katt FAMILY! Gotta love 'em.
9/2/2014 12:07:35The amount of hard boiled eggs this hockey team consumes in a sitting is both amazing and disgusting.
9/2/2014 12:13:09Shitty’s ranking the available cereals in the Samwell d-Hall. Everyone agrees Jack’s choice of Raisin Bran is awful. I love team bfast.
9/2/2014 12:13:48@omgcheckplease Lardo just patted Jack on the back. “It’s gross bro.” I SHOULDN’T BE LAUGHING THIS MUCH; TOO EARLY.
9/2/2014 17:17:08I’d never heard Lardo shout until:
Shitty: Ugh. Brah, my hair’s getting pretty fucking long–
Lardo: DON’T CUT IT.
9/2/2014 20:20:29DEX CAN FIX MY OVEN
9/2/2014 20:20:45*OUR OVEN WHATEVER WE ALL KNOW IT’S MINE
9/2/2014 20:22:53Dex: As long as there isn’t anyone chirping over my shoulder, sure I think I can
IF YOU’RE ASKING ME TO KILL NURSEY
I’LL DO IT
9/3/2014 0:28:09@ACKUgarte One of the guys on the team. Last name “Nurse”, but everyone started calling him Nursey b/c of another guy on the team!
9/3/2014 2:10:17Jack: you’re starting a pie now?…We have practice and then Food Seminar in the morning.
Me: Why’re you still surprised by my behavior.
9/3/2014 2:14:07Jack just asked if I vlog about him.
9/3/2014 2:16:44Hm. I don’t know why I tweet and vlog about my teammates so much. I mean, people find it interesting. It’s like an open diary.
9/3/2014 2:18:36“When you get Youtube famous don’t go out and chirp me all over the internet, eh? 'Night.”
9/3/2014 13:29:12OMFG I think the girl sitting across from us tried to take a picture of Jack on her phone. #LordHelpUs #WGSS120
9/3/2014 13:30:55I’m trying so hard not to laugh. I’m trying so hard not to cry.
9/3/2014 13:36:42Phone Girl, please, you’re not even being subtle. Try Tortoise Shell Glasses Girl’s approach instead: blatantly staring at Jack dreamily.
9/3/2014 20:19:10“The Haus is closer to my bio seminar than the dining halls…” Chowder stopped by just to see if I had baked anything. (◡‿◡)
9/3/2014 20:19:53“Bitty, when do you ever do homework?” Shutup and eat the damn pie. (ʘ‿ʘ)
9/4/2014 13:30:48Today’s team breakfast includes a scholarly discussion of Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda” with Shitty, Nursey, and Holster; also Fruit Loops
9/4/2014 13:58:53Holster: Ah yes, as a Minaj connosieur of sorts–I’d give the video a firm C in terms of narrative. However. With regard to butts. An A.
9/4/2014 14:14:37Nursey: naming the song “Anaconda” kinda solidifies the male gaze
Shitty: see, but it’s male objectification in a way too
Nursey:..oh dang
9/4/2014 14:14:59Chowder: should I watch that video–
Shitty: nope
Lardo: never
Holster: absolutely not
Ransom: just no
Nursey: probs wouldn’t even like it
9/4/2014 14:54:15Why do I have class on a national holiday. #HappyBirthdayBeyonce
9/4/2014 19:28:51Jack’s thoughts on our Food Seminar: “Uuuh. I like it. It’s interesting stuff. Yeah.” Ladies and gentlemen he can hardly contain himself.
9/4/2014 21:26:40@BleakMonday Well, it’s Women, Food, and American Culture, so we might not learn about that…
9/5/2014 13:16:24Friday practice shootout is the highlight of my week.
9/5/2014 13:19:45Two skill sets are on display: (1) your ability to score on Chowder (2) your ability to come up with the wittiest, most devastating chirps.
9/5/2014 13:35:25OH and Sweet Baby Chowder ain’t so sweet. The longer it takes you to get one past him, the meaner his chirps get.
9/5/2014 20:07:04For every bottle of sriracha I take out of this grocery cart, Ransom and Holster put three more in. ( ಠ_ಠ)
9/6/2014 2:41:18#SamwellWomensVolleyball!!
9/6/2014 20:55:17Just ran into someone who recognized me from my vlog. (; ʘ‿ʘ )
9/7/2014 1:03:21Okay so I know goalies are supposed to flexible, but Ransom and Holster are making Chowder to do full splits on command.
9/7/2014 1:08:53“If this is hazing, it’s kinda fun.” - Chowder. You ray of puck-stopping Californian sunshine.
9/7/2014 1:23:43@omgcheckplease *to be…I got distracted by all the splits, clearly &lt;_&lt;
9/7/2014 1:35:18@hannza tbh, i’ve met few people that smile as much as he does!
9/7/2014 4:24:05#OverheardAtSamwell “Oh my God! This guy on the hockey team keeps doing splits in the backyard.” Aaand it’s time to leave the party.
9/7/2014 21:33:31I miss Johnson. :( He made me uncomfortable most of the time and I never knew what he was talking about…but he was great, you know?
9/7/2014 21:36:50Whenever I’d bake at the Haus Johnson’d always sit at the kitchen table & go on about “how excited he was for the next comic”….???
9/7/2014 21:37:58@omgcheckplease I had never met an athlete who was so into comics, but that was all he’d talk about. Gosh he was quirky. :)
9/7/2014 21:41:16Sorry..I was thinking about people leaving Samwell… Shitty has a bad habit of walking into rooms & going “OH BALLS, I’M GRADUATING.”
9/7/2014 22:37:45@sarahindie (1) Samwell does in fact have a law school! (2) I guess Jack would be the dad? Something about our bylaws…Or maybe it’s Lardo?
9/7/2014 22:53:22One sucky thing about being a college athlete: you have no time for extracurriculars. Samwell Baking Club (っ˘̩︵˘̩)っwhat could’ve been.
9/7/2014 22:57:07According to Ransom: “Holster tried out for a capella his frog year. Supposedly they 'really wanted him’ but he got too busy.”
9/7/2014 23:03:53Shitty: “If Jack didn’t do hockey he’d join the golf team & slowly phase into a godawful tool. Zimmermann means carpenter in German, Bits.”
9/8/2014 16:25:18Holster Hates: dumb reality TV protagonists, every Ivy League university hockey team ever, Jack’s inability to retain pop culture trivia
9/8/2014 16:30:28Holster: Princeton? More like Dickston! Dartmouth? More like Fartmouth! Yale? More like dumb pretentious school for jerks.
9/9/2014 0:26:46Studying at Founders w/ the Boys.These guys literally walked into our reading room and rolled their yes. “Ugh, jocks.” Then left.

>:O
9/9/2014 0:45:25@hannza I know, right???? Shitty was in the middle of law school apps. 9_9
9/9/2014 0:51:13Rans: Yuuuuuup. I’m just a big dumb jock with a 4.0.
9/9/2014 1:09:42@warblerland13 Will relay. The amount of athlete discrimination here is sometimes a bit surprising!
9/9/2014 2:31:53@noubun Weird. If your dorm is connected to the main campus library you might go to Samwell.
9/9/2014 16:52:43The lady who swipes cards in the dining hall just asked why I always sit with the hockey team. (。＿。;)
9/9/2014 16:59:29Why did God give me narrow shoulders and the hips of a 13 year-old Chinese gymnast.
9/9/2014 18:17:31@rad_coolswag OH no, this woman is fabulous! She’s always so sweet to me. She just calls 'em how she sees 'em. T_T
9/9/2014 18:18:48@capn_madd_katt I hope your best friends aren’t all 5'10"+. [One of my teammates said he grew an inch over the sumer. ):&lt; ]
9/9/2014 18:19:12You know, 5'6" isn’t all that short in most places.
9/10/2014 1:51:24Every one a y'all better come to our first home game! #SamwellMensHockey
9/10/2014 1:55:37That’s right, “every one a”. That tweet should be read with an inflection I call “the southern imperative”. Y'all best come.
9/10/2014 1:55:53@warblerland13 Absolutely!
9/10/2014 11:47:32Today’s breakfast topic: Who’s grumpier? Jack or Holster?
9/10/2014 12:03:50Jack: …You boys can sort that out. I’m going to finish my seminar reading.
Holster: aaaand ding ding DING we hAVE A WINNER.
9/10/2014 12:08:35Shitty: Mr. Zimmermann! I’m with the Samwell Daily News–how much of an honor is it to be voted #SamwellMensHockey’s crabbiest fucker?
9/10/2014 13:27:49#WGSS120: Women, Food & Amer. Culture. Fabulous professor. Fascinating readings. Hockey captains who doodle defensive plays in their notes.
9/11/2014 14:22:24@_KateAlyssa Those look ADORABLE!!! Gosh, now I gotta make some.
9/11/2014 14:32:39Nursey & Dex are mature, intelligent young men. Yet when together:
“stop it” “I’m not even touching you” “I said–NURSEY” “OW QUIT” “BITTY”
9/11/2014 14:37:16And Chowder tries to interject but he’s too nice and usually just gets hit in the face. Pray for these frogs, y'all. ◡_◡;
9/11/2014 22:12:31@sarahindie I guess if you make people lunch and scold them for not washing their hands before eatin pie, you’re a mom, huh?
9/12/2014 1:17:46Jack, Rans, & Holster are in the den watching football. Beer commercials, ref whistles, & nonsensical masculine shouting. #HausSweetHaus
9/12/2014 1:22:43Also!! As the son of a football coach I am PHYSICALLY unable to say “American Football”. Try that in Georgia & people’ll look at you funny.
9/12/2014 2:00:31@nonmodernist It’s like…what other kind of football is there? OH YOU MEAN SOCCER.
9/12/2014 16:02:24Jack (After talking on the phone to his dad): Ah, he had to go. He was getting lunch with a family friend, Wayne.
9/12/2014 16:03:17WAYNE GRETZKY
9/12/2014 16:04:38@alianurhannah Just some small town hockey player.
9/12/2014 16:07:12@alianurhannah Ah, well, you see, he’s a pretty interesting fellow! http://t.co/bpSclhmt0Q
9/12/2014 16:08:54Shitty: Okay, frogs? Sometimes Jack’s going to casually fucking mention that he knows hockey legends? And we just accept it.
9/12/2014 16:18:04@alianurhannah I felt the same way after I learned about Jack’s dad!
9/13/2014 14:05:30I just woke up to Shitty tapping on my window….I’m on the second floor. ._.?
9/13/2014 17:46:23@VictoriaPyrrhi GOD. I swear, my mom calls him that without even thinking about it anymore…then again I call him Shitty like it’s normal.
9/13/2014 17:46:59“#MamaBittle: hi dicky do u kno if Bob will be at samwell family weekend this year?” No, mother, and I’m not asking Jack either.
9/14/2014 0:48:10My favorite thing to do at parties is convince people I’m on the hockey team. #notreally
9/14/2014 0:51:02OK Maybe GA accent + fab haircut + tucked-in button down I got from the GAP on sale + ~125Ibs & 5'6" =/= hockey, BUT IT’S SAMWELL PEOPLE!!
9/14/2014 1:00:12“Wait, if you’re on the hockey team…what’s Jack Zimmermann like? I heard he does like shit ton of coke.” BYE
9/14/2014 1:00:40@jpeytonm Where’s Chowder to do conversation-ending splits when you need him.
9/14/2014 1:02:29@jpeytonm It’s his something. We try not to let him near tequila anymore…. (#prayforchowder inDEED)
9/14/2014 1:26:36@jpeytonm I feel like I have to protect the good name of Samwell Hockey…I would hate for Coach Murray to get wind of any of this…
9/14/2014 16:05:43I’m getting used to the TV always being on and always being tuned into ESPN in this Haus.
9/14/2014 16:07:21Unless Holster and I are binge-watching Real Housewives. Or Shitty & Ransom are getting emotional about that FIFA soccer video game.
9/14/2014 16:08:27..Or Lardo & Jack are watching history documentaries in complete silence…
9/14/2014 16:13:37Lardo & Jack hang out a lot? But they’ll spend hours together and say all of three sentences. I have no idea…
9/14/2014 18:49:22Ha ha–have you ever accidentally called a teammate sweetheart &lt;_&lt;
9/14/2014 18:51:21@twsomething I was brave enough to say I did it? But I’m not brave enough to say to whom I did it? ~_~
9/15/2014 20:00:54@NerdWired THAT is a LOADED QUESTION
9/15/2014 20:13:01What sinful things must I do to get 'round-the-clock access to those massive commercial ovens in the dining halls. ._.
9/15/2014 20:14:15@omgcheckplease I’m not saying I’d do anything? But I’d do most things.
9/15/2014 20:16:08@omgcheckplease Like, wouldn’t it be nice to come home from a hockey game well-fought & make a few dozen mini-pies? That’s all I’m saying…
9/15/2014 23:03:29@xbigbywolf I LOVED Pushing Daisies!! For so many reasons…Kristen Chenoweth is a *doll* and Lee Pace…well…. *_*
9/16/2014 2:32:16Holster just stomped downstairs with all of his laundry and the most ornery face. “There was a jock strap on the knob to our room. So.”
9/16/2014 2:36:21“HE HAS A QUIZ TOMORR–” (Now he’s shouting at the attic.) “YOU HAVE A QUIZ, JUSTIN!!!” He’s doing a terrible folding job. “GOOD GOD.”
9/16/2014 2:40:50“And THEN he doesn’t STUDY and gets all ANXIOUS and he comes RUNNING TO ME.”
Be right back y'all…this boy needs a pie.
9/16/2014 2:49:36Jack: Hey, is someone moving furniture upstairs–oh hey Holster what’s up with your folding, man?
Holster: JACK I DON’T NEED YOU RIGHT NOW.
9/16/2014 15:01:43Just walked past Annie’s and spotted Jack having coffee with another NHL scout…
9/16/2014 15:32:40Samwell’s filled w/ attractive people. When I realize they’re all dating each other & I’ll be single forever I make a pie. ;‿;
9/16/2014 15:54:44@capn_madd_katt I appreciate it! u_u
9/16/2014 16:17:07@capn_madd_katt ;~; oh my gosh! You’re so sweet.
9/16/2014 18:10:54@sarahindie Dang. You might be on to something.
9/16/2014 18:11:48@TheCrazyFreak Yeah! And Shitty’s been trying to fix him up with someone for ages. 9_9
9/17/2014 0:52:33I live in a place where it’s normal for someone to walk into the kitchen, shotgun a beer, and leave without saying anything. ._.
9/17/2014 1:00:29Ransom DESPERATELY wants to guest star on my vlog. “I am the EXPERT on 'swawesome cool chill bro stuff. You know that!” ….do I?
9/17/2014 14:33:34Watching Jack interact with non-hockey people is so bizarre. I forget he has the ability to make small talk.
9/17/2014 14:36:09Guy in Our Food Class: Yeah, check out my instagram, I’m really into Vegan cuisine.
Jack: Oh, do I…have to download your photos?
Guy: what
9/17/2014 14:39:08And I NEED our professor to be my faculty advisor. She’s 'SWAWESOME. She could supervise a thesis on the history of the American pie, right?
9/17/2014 14:45:41Rando girl: Hockey? Ooh I didn’t know Samwell had a hockey team!
(Oh Lord. Just laugh it off, Jack. You’re scaring her w/ your death stare.)
9/17/2014 17:57:01@nonmodernist we sit right next to each other in class! I figured it’d be beneficial to humanity to document his struggles.
9/17/2014 18:11:31@nonmodernist Oh gosh, that’s a pretty dangerous mission! I dunno what he’d do if he caught me…
9/17/2014 19:05:11Jack wants me to start up checking practice with him again. (╯︵╰,)
9/17/2014 19:06:38I already got hit once really bad…why can’t I just avoid checks until I graduate. ;~;
9/17/2014 19:08:09@ToniMacAttack I don’t even KNOW how to respond to this. He’s not–well…I mean it’s not like it’s enjoyable–well. IT’S NOT FUN.
9/17/2014 19:09:30@Bobby16may I did!!! Jack told me to at the beginning of the summer and I SWEAR I did. I still managed to lose muscle mass though…. :(
9/17/2014 22:56:52omfgYES!! “@totesridics: Very important Q: is Jack’s smalltalk voice that trained monotone 90% of Canadian hockey players seem to have?”
9/17/2014 22:57:36@twsomething Thanks!! Y'all are so kind…
9/17/2014 22:57:59@capn_madd_katt Thank you!!! I certainly will try!
9/17/2014 23:45:45Rans just dragged Chowder into the kitchen & said in hushed tones: “OK–The 1st thing you gotta understand? Is that he’s really sensitive.”
9/17/2014 23:47:15@warblerland13 Hmmm I’m not sure…I’m still trying to figure this all out.
9/18/2014 16:58:27@justchelle @xcarex Oh my gosh!!! Y'all are so right…gotta keep moving!!! :) :) :)
9/18/2014 19:18:53@nonmodernist Southern hockey players are a breed! I might be related to one of them..
9/18/2014 19:40:08It’s nice out! So I’m w/Jack & Shitty on River Quad. Shitty has his head in Jack’s lap bc “Jack, brah, this is in our friend contract.”
9/18/2014 19:40:57I love how after 3 years Jack still doesn’t understand how he became friends with Shitty.
9/18/2014 19:43:21Jack: River Quad…Always makes me think of the River Kwai. Like the movie? Kinda cool, eh?
Shitty: Nevermind your lap is fucking dweeby.
9/18/2014 19:47:40@angelicangel360 I told Jack he’s creepy and now he’s grumpy that I was tweeting the whole interaction.
9/18/2014 19:55:17@VictoriaPyrrhi Oh God, definitely. My mom was very shocked when I said I was so close to him. “You mean, Mr. Crappy?…Are you…sure?”
9/18/2014 19:57:28Shitty: or if you lie on your stomach I can put my head on your giant butt
9/18/2014 20:17:21@angelicangel360 Oh don’t worry!!! He’s half-wrestling with Shitty now, so I think he forgot about it.
9/19/2014 0:36:37RT @CountryLiving: Sprinkles and gummy worms help create a dessert that’s equal parts spooky and delicious: http://t.co/YY0GzUeReY http://t…
9/19/2014 0:37:37LRT I don’t usually retweet whomever I’m following, but OH MY GOD HALLOWEEN THEMED DESSERTS!!!!! LORD.
9/19/2014 0:44:13@VidTuesday Ooooh! That looks fun!
9/19/2014 13:56:24I actually like running suicide sprints during practice. No body contact and I get to out-skate the rest of the boys. >:)
9/19/2014 15:17:34Jack on the phone w/ his dad a while ago: french french french I’m with Bittle french french Bittle ha ha french french no…okay, bye.
._.?
9/19/2014 21:40:27Y'all, I think Shitty and Lardo are friends because their eyebrow game is off the CHARTS.
9/19/2014 21:41:20To think of it, Rans and Holster too. And don’t get me started on Nursey.
9/19/2014 21:43:48See, this is why I can’t get a thing done. I think about stuff like this and then bake five pies. Eric Bittle. #ProfessionalProcrastinator
9/20/2014 18:42:55@savegansey I love making cobblers!!! My specialty is pie, but cobblers, cakes, cookies, brownies, sweet breads–I love them all!!
9/20/2014 19:55:39My newborn goalie lamb Chowder came by looking for cookies. I started a batch right away. (◡‿◡)
9/20/2014 20:04:36“You know, people just give me stuff all the time? Dex gave me his jacket today because I said it was chilly.” (ʘ‿ʘ) He’s just using me.
9/20/2014 21:24:50Jack: how many of those tweets do you start with “oh my god y'all”?
He thinks he’s so funny.
9/20/2014 21:56:49@angelicangel360 One day I might just make him do it. The day before he graduates!
9/20/2014 22:03:21Me: I’ll stop tweeting when you quit teasing me
Jack: I guess you’ll never stop tweeting
(This one.)
9/20/2014 22:04:28@TheCrazyFreak When something is your passion, you somehow find the time. :)
(…And Chowder might be right about the homework thing. &lt;_&lt;)
9/21/2014 13:30:02@TheCrazyFreak I’m seeing this and thinking of myself as well!
9/21/2014 18:30:24Y'all…I’m still sore from getting checked a million times at 4 in the morning.（◡﹏◡）
9/21/2014 19:35:12@twsomething …he doesn’t think it’s early. (ಠ_ಠ)
9/21/2014 19:36:16@twsomething And that’s the only time Faber is completely deserted.
9/21/2014 19:37:04@_Thordis He doesn’t!!
9/22/2014 1:57:10@twsomething Nope! But I usually make something at the Haus after we get back…He runs me into the boards and I make him pancakes. 9_9
9/22/2014 1:57:39@twsomething I mean…I guess he doesn’t have to help me….and I am getting better….
9/22/2014 2:04:37@twsomething Hmmm maybe it’s win-win…I get to train with a world-class athlete and he gets my world-class pancakes!
9/22/2014 2:57:56@capn_madd_katt I know, right??? Seriously, Cap'n.
9/22/2014 3:01:52I was about to go to sleep, but then I thought “tiramisu”.
9/22/2014 3:02:47And if you think I don’t already have mascarpone cheese on hand, you MUST be out of your mind.
9/22/2014 3:04:37@angelicangel360 please.
9/22/2014 3:10:08@nonmodernist I like to keep my kitchen well stocked. (◡‿◡)
9/22/2014 3:12:37@angelicangel360 RIGHT? please forward these sentiments to jack.zimmermann@samwell.edu. …certain people think it excessive.
9/22/2014 17:53:10@CountryLiving These are TOO cute!!! I CAN’T BREATHE!!!!
9/22/2014 18:03:52I don’t have *time* to date. My life’s already filled up w/ school, hockey, baking, running a vlog & keeping these poor freshmen alive.
9/22/2014 18:05:41@angelicangel360 OH my gosh, I’m not trusting them to set me up anymore. They don’t even understand my type…
9/22/2014 18:06:01@nonmodernist :/
9/22/2014 18:07:36Crushes are stressful. Dating is disappointing. Every relationship, you either break up or get married & then divorced. Pies can’t hurt you.
9/22/2014 18:08:50@sarah_connors You and me–we’ll start a club or a cult or something
9/22/2014 18:12:27…And then parents. “I’m sure you’ll find a nice girl up there.” >_&lt;
9/22/2014 18:14:00@justchelle cuddling…notes…..that sounds so nice. ;_;
9/22/2014 18:14:52And sometimes I think I have a type? And then other times I think that type doesn’t even exist…
9/22/2014 18:15:36@glitter4goals I already talked to my mom about her grandchildren being adopted and she seemed confused so I never brought it up again
9/22/2014 19:03:24@FiveHowl Oh my goodness no no no, the frogs are like little brothers to me. (Little brothers who are all taller than I am. 9_9)
9/23/2014 2:23:15Just had a 30 min. conversation w/ Coach abt current events in football. I think the only time we bond is when we’re gossiping about sports.
9/23/2014 3:15:30Let the UNIVERSE know that I just saved JUSTIN OLURANSI AND ADAM BIRKHOLTZ FROM A SPIDER. #gotyourback
9/23/2014 3:16:32I’m currently hiding in my room because I told them I was gonna tweet about it immediately. Babies.
9/23/2014 3:19:51Rans demands that I include he “wasn’t prepared” & Holster says “I thought it went up my boxers I’m not scared of spiders srsly Bitty stop”
9/23/2014 3:22:30To be fair the thing was massive. To be unfair, Ransom’s attempts to slapshot the beast with an old hockey stick were very sad.
9/23/2014 3:24:20@Kheradihr Why thank you!!! And I get that reference!!! (Rans actually made me watch the video.)
9/23/2014 14:02:20Holster rolls his eyes whenever Ransom refers to Drake as “my boy Drake.”
9/23/2014 18:41:48TIL that Nursey got his 1st tattoo when he was 17. Goodness, I canNOT even imagine #MamaBittle’s face if I had asked to get a tattoo at 17.
9/23/2014 19:13:51@nonmodernist Sounds like the opposite of my mother, but I think they could be friends! (my mother secretly wanted to be a hippie imho)
9/24/2014 0:24:36Sitting in the Norris library with Jack. Trying to do an essay response for food class…and why am I tweeting under the table.
9/24/2014 0:28:27@angelicangel360 ugggggggghhhhhhhhhh
9/24/2014 0:33:42oh god, so Jack just went to use the bathroom and tossed a note on my laptop. Yes I’m live-tweeting this; my life is not exciting.
9/24/2014 0:34:55it’s in french OF COURSE
9/24/2014 0:36:51the girl in the corner of this reading room is looking at me like I’m an idiot. sorry, i’m giggling this is so stupid
9/24/2014 0:38:26translation: “write your essay response”
oh Lord.
9/24/2014 0:40:28Okay, he’s back. I left a note on his backpack.
9/24/2014 0:45:33I’ve never seen Jack have to stifle a laugh before. #NoteGameStrong
9/24/2014 10:40:29On the way to Faber before the sun’s even up. Ugggh I’m made for cold ice rinks but not cold weather. U︵U
9/24/2014 14:05:38So. I’m well aware I’m a chatterbox, but I’m the only sophomore in this senior history seminar. So intimidating.
9/24/2014 14:10:45Also I think they all hate me because I bribed my way in with pie.
9/24/2014 17:56:21@angelicangel360 it’s a seminar about women, food, and gender in American history! One of my teammates is in it with me. (He’s the captain)
9/24/2014 17:56:47@angelicangel360 (He’s also part of the reason why it’s so intimidating to talk in class. Eek!)
9/24/2014 17:57:21@twsomething Well…she *did* ask me for the recipe. :)
9/24/2014 18:11:07@angelicangel360 Yeah!! I guess it turned out all right. For whatever reason, I’m better at talking & tweeting than I am writing analysis.
9/25/2014 3:04:27Ugh, today’s weather was so New England-y. So obviously I’m going to combat that by having Steel Magnolias on while I do my readings.
9/25/2014 3:06:33Or maybe I’ll go to bed. You know when Jack goes to bed? 10:00 when he’s having a good day. *sometimes* *even* *NINE*.
9/25/2014 3:07:33I honestly don’t know when Shitty sleeps. I’ve seen him and Ransom in the kitchen eating leftover pie at 2AM.
9/25/2014 3:10:06It’s times like these when I’m sitting in bed tweeting that I start wondering: How will Chowder the Goalie fair when it starts snowing?
9/25/2014 3:13:19@ToniMacAttack But we have morning practice…No I don’t understand either.
9/25/2014 3:26:52@twsomething Oh God, you’re right!!! Oooh I need to text him. I’ll send him an email too and I’ll look up some jackets too just in case…
9/25/2014 12:05:13Coach Murray says he might bring his daughter around the rink sometime and if he does I might actually die. She just turned 3. Adorable.
9/25/2014 12:07:09Did I mention that I’m great with kids? If you live around Samwell and need a babysitter, I can send you my resume and references.
9/25/2014 12:08:35Why am I not getting paid for frog-sitting?
9/25/2014 16:26:21@druid_spell Dex & Nursey when they’re together. -_- But Chowder to bc I’m worried he’s going to starve before our 1st game. That boy…
9/25/2014 16:27:36@Cmdr_Nugget I’m not sure about Chowder, but I’m still cooking up a costume…
9/27/2014 2:32:07@nonmodernist …I’m turning into my mother.
9/27/2014 2:50:37Holster just offered to cut my hair.
9/27/2014 2:58:00“Oh yeah, I cut my own hair. You know, even cut Jack’s hair every once in a while.” Jack’s not here to support these claims.
9/27/2014 2:58:32@nonmodernist Not at all!
9/27/2014 3:00:51@nonmodernist The thought of them allowing fighting is terrifying. I’m sure Rans and Holster would love it though.
9/27/2014 3:03:00@nonmodernist Holster probably. He’s not an angry guy, but he holds grudges….And also Chowder is pretty territorial.
9/27/2014 3:05:54Me: does Holster cut your hair, Rans?
Ransom: I don’t let that white boy near my hair.
9/27/2014 3:25:50@nonmodernist Jack’s pretty aggressive too, tbh. I think when guys play against us, they really want to rough him up because he’s famous?
9/27/2014 3:28:13@nonmodernist But, like, everyone forgets he’s a BIG guy.
9/27/2014 3:30:24@nonmodernist Jack has soft hands and can really really skate, but he’s gritty too.
9/27/2014 3:30:42@nonmodernist Thank, God he doesn’t check me like I’ve seen him check other guys.
9/27/2014 3:33:07@nonmodernist …oops sorry I kind of ranted. It’s Friday night and this Haus party isn’t particularly 'swawesome tonight
9/27/2014 3:38:52@angelicangel360 @nonmodernist most everyone just left to go to this club
9/27/2014 3:50:41@angelicangel360 @nonmodernist I dunno. wasn’t in the mood….Yeah, I dunno.
9/28/2014 1:44:26Watching #drunkhistory with a drunk Shitty in Shitty’s room.
9/28/2014 1:47:18There’s actually a show called drunk history, but we’re just watching the history channel on mute and Shitty’s narrating
9/28/2014 1:56:43Also, when do I have to start liking beer.
9/28/2014 2:00:44omfg Shitty’s been shouting at Jack for the last five minutes to come watch with us
9/28/2014 2:03:54*He’s shouting at Jack in the shower. And by that I mean Jack’s in the shower.
9/28/2014 2:29:18Okay I have to put away my phone or Jack’s going to take it.
9/28/2014 2:31:02But Shitty has his arm around Jack’s shoulder and
9/28/2014 12:36:37I just had to pick pocket this phone out of a sleeping Canadian’s jacket.
9/29/2014 16:36:27Coach Murray, I know you want us to study in the library to get more work done? But I may be training the frogs to study in the Haus. Sorry.
9/29/2014 16:57:15Shitty’s so serious about graduate school…. I stress out when I make Spotify playlists–I can’t even think about making life plans. （。＿。 ）
9/29/2014 17:00:42And Jack’s always meeting w/ NHL scouts and talking to his dad about teams…
9/29/2014 22:05:37I’m excited for Halloween? But I’m also already excited for Thanksgiving? Days ordained for food preparation make me all giddy.
9/29/2014 22:07:27I’ll be having a Samwell Thanksgiving with the rest of the boys. But this time?
I have my own kitchen.
9/29/2014 22:09:31I made pumpkin pie for one of my mom’s church friends two years ago. When she tried it? She fainted.
9/30/2014 3:38:24Need to go to sleep on time. If I hit snooze more than once, Jack will bang on my door until I’m up for practice. I think he likes it.
9/30/2014 3:44:14#ERROR!
9/30/2014 3:45:46I’m half drowning, half getting attacked by the River Geese.
9/30/2014 3:46:45Coach Hall: where’s Bittle?
Ransom: Oh he died on the way to practice.
9/30/2014 3:48:29Jack: I told that Bittle to get more sleep but he couldn’t stop tweeting and now I don’t have a left wing. I miss his pies.
9/30/2014 3:49:28Bury me with my hockey stick and a cherry pie.
9/30/2014 14:12:45Ransom and I are getting addicted to Pumpkin Spice Lattes and it’s a problem.
9/30/2014 17:03:09There was a whole 5-minute segment about which team Jack’s going to pick on ESPN.
9/30/2014 17:03:26It’s gotta be weird when a bunch of people you’ve never met are shouting at each other about your future on national television.
9/30/2014 17:04:37I think one guy started comparing him to Johnny Manziel and if you know ANYTHING about football–that makes no sense for 100 reasons.
9/30/2014 17:07:40“If Samwell doesn’t win the NCAA championship, or at least make it to the Frozen Four, his stock as a free agent will plummet.” :/
9/30/2014 17:09:44I mean the NHL season hasn’t even STARTED. Why is anyone even talking about this now??? I hate 24 hour sports news…
9/30/2014 17:11:04@nonmodernist Jack is an incredible guy, obviously, but Samwell is a team, not just him. :/
9/30/2014 17:14:32What’s the point of comparing Jack to Bad Bob? Oh, his last name is Zimmermann–let’s analyze EVERY time he has the puck. It’s so stupid.
9/30/2014 17:15:20@justchelle I just might. This is making me so frustrated. UGH.
9/30/2014 17:16:33@nonmodernist Honestly, if a team can’t see how good he is, they probably don’t deserve him. That’s bad scouting and plain stupid.
9/30/2014 17:22:27Jack’s been dealing with stuff his entire life, though. Probably doesn’t need me worrying about him….He’s not Chowder.
9/30/2014 17:28:17Our season hasn’t even started but I keep thinking about Jack and Shitty leaving. :(
9/30/2014 17:29:44UGH OKAY enough sad tweets imma go bake something. ᕦ(ò_ó)ᕤ
9/30/2014 23:59:00@chinchillahips You’re so right. Bey is so RIGHT.
10/1/2014 0:24:14Studying @ Kotter with Jack and R&H. This teeny tiny freshman-looking girl keeps walking past our table and glancing at us.
10/1/2014 0:25:53This poor thing. She’s standing at the cafe and keeps looking at her phone and then back at us. Maybe she wants Jack’s autograph?
10/1/2014 0:29:00She just walked up to Jack and asked: “Are you um. Are you Jack Zimmermann?” Ooooooh she’s with the Daily. Live tweet-worthy.
10/1/2014 0:32:18Jack: Oh yeah. Do you guys mind if I do an interview?
Holster: Only if you don’t mind us parroting your answers back at you directly after.
10/1/2014 0:37:17They’re sitting a bit away from us. Jack this isn’t a post-game interview, please smile at her.
10/1/2014 0:40:53I don’t know what he said but she’s laughing. Dear God, Jack might actually be charming.
10/1/2014 0:43:10Jack just said “it’s really exciting” and “it’s been stressful” in the exact same way. Does everyone in Canada speak in monotone?
10/1/2014 0:50:43Rans: did he get to the part where he says, “I love it here at Samwell. We have a great group of guys, & we’re ready for a strong season”?
10/1/2014 0:53:02Girl: Anything you want to add?
Jack: You know..I love it here at Samwell. We have a great group of guys and we’re ready for a strong season
10/1/2014 14:49:45This girl in our food seminar just said my accent is “so adorable” …. -_-
10/1/2014 14:54:30Tortoise Shell Glasses Girl: I like your accent too, it’s like, subtle.
Jack:…Thank you.
He’s so confused.
10/1/2014 22:43:22800 followers! Maybe I should’ve waited until 1000 to celebrate, but whatever–THANK Y'ALL SO MUCH!!
10/1/2014 22:45:44I’m just a southern boy playing a northern game. (ˇっˇ)
10/2/2014 14:25:38And the bakers gonna bake bake bake bake bake ♪ ♪ ♪
10/2/2014 14:26:11@omgcheckplease Or that’s what Holster and I think the lyrics are.
10/2/2014 15:58:24Holster: Holy hell. Thinking about Shitty and Jack graduating makes me think about me, Rans, and Lardo graduat–
Me: Stop.
10/2/2014 17:09:21@chinchillahips Right??? SHOWING THIS TO HOLSTER
10/2/2014 17:19:47@chinchillahips Thank you. It’s NOT EVEN HALLOWEEN.
10/3/2014 2:22:16@jpeytonm @harto I do when I’m not being careful and whenever Jack’s not around to make fun of me.
10/3/2014 2:31:49Okay now I’m watching @harto and wondering how famous do I have to be to cook with her. What if I brought Jack he’s hockey famous.
10/3/2014 2:32:38Or what if me and Shitty our own show called drunk baking. Y'all’d watch that, right???
10/3/2014 2:41:01NGL, this may all just be part of my scheme to meet and become best friends with Beyoncé.
10/3/2014 20:21:34I’m pretty sure Chowder can grow more facial hair than I can at this point. My son, the baby goalie Chowder.
10/3/2014 20:23:09Not like I want to grow a Shitty-style mustache or anything? But, you know, knowing you can is kind of empowering?
10/3/2014 20:30:25All I’m saying is, it’d be nice to maintain something more dense than peach fuzz at the age of 19.
10/3/2014 21:46:44@TheCrazyFreak :( :( :(
10/3/2014 22:26:57Out on Lake Quad. Talking to Lardo about boys.
10/3/2014 22:28:49Lardo: Boys are dumb.
Me: It’s true; we are.
Lardo: Aren’t I like, super eloquent.
Me: You’re succinct and I like that.
10/3/2014 22:29:29@akadoor we’re not!! omg…
10/3/2014 23:13:52@nonmodernist Just the usual hockey boys!
10/3/2014 23:18:50@andlovetoo All hockey boys have magnificent butts, m'dear. ;) (Except for me. I’m still waiting for a visit from the Baby-Got-Back fairy.)
10/3/2014 23:20:11@andlovetoo (I mean it’s small but toned, but still small. Like I wish I could go up a cup size if that is at all an apt metaphor.)
10/3/2014 23:20:29@andlovetoo (…that was an unexpected tangent.)
10/4/2014 3:08:30Put your hands up if you play college hockey and sometimes wear short shorts when you hit da club.
10/4/2014 3:08:54*puts my hands up*
10/4/2014 3:12:49@Sarah_Vengeance I don’t know where Shitty is but he wasn’t wearing shorts. He might be wearing his american flag jean vest?
10/4/2014 3:18:57You know how all people wear pants most of the time? Shitty’s not most people all of the time.
10/4/2014 3:19:17@Sarah_Vengeance LT in response to your question.
10/4/2014 15:37:45Jack’s interview is in the weekend issue of the Daily! Shitty, Lardo, and Rans are reading over Holster’s shoulder; it’s cute.
10/4/2014 15:40:35Lardo: that’s a nice picture of Jack
Rans: a really nice picture
Holster: yeah he looks great
Shitty: fucking French-Canadian Adonis
10/4/2014 15:47:41Holster: AWW 'Zimmermann said his favorite part of hockey at Samwell is his teammates. “It’s a special group of guys.”’ Help I’m tearing up.
10/4/2014 22:04:13Ransom’s goal each weekend: “Well, #1 is to get In the Swallow, duh. Fame is temporary. The Swallow is forever.”
10/4/2014 23:56:22@chinchillahips Oh, if you don’t go to Samwell, you probably wouldn’t know!! It’s the campus printed tabloid and rumor blog.
10/5/2014 0:11:50“FUCK IT, BITTY, YOU’RE GETTING LAID TO-NIGHT” - a certain member of the Samwell Men’s Hockey team after shotgunning a beer
10/5/2014 0:12:42“I KNOW LIKE EVERYONE IN CREW. YOU LIKE ROWERS, RIGHT?”
10/5/2014 0:15:26@omgcheckplease “THERE’S A 6-FOOT-7 GUY FROM AUSTRALIA WHO’S TOTALLY INTO SHORT DUDES.” D:
10/5/2014 0:16:03@omgcheckplease I probably shouldn’t’ve tweeted that.
10/5/2014 0:20:47“SWIMMERS? NO–DIVERS. Or maybe socc—Oh oh oh oh OH MY GOD. THE FOOTBALL TEAM. BITS. THE FOOT–” I’m running away.
10/5/2014 0:25:37@omgcheckplease “there’s this linebacker who’s VP of Samwell Athletes & Allies–” RANSOM I’M NOT HOOKING UP W/ ANYONE TONIGHT
10/5/2014 0:30:01@nonmodernist …SIX-FOOT-SEVEN??
10/5/2014 0:31:18@hannza I’m going for no one!!!!
10/5/2014 0:52:07Going to get froyo with a slightly baked Shitty and Lardo. #SamwellSuperBerry
10/5/2014 0:56:00And Jack if Shitty can drag him out of his room.
10/5/2014 0:58:29Lardo: Shits might do the thing where he bear hugs Jack til Jack gives in. Sometimes that works. haha “swawesome.
Me:…oh.
10/5/2014 1:01:40We’re out on the front lawn. Shitty’s yelling at us from Jack’s window. “HE’S PUTTING ON PANTS.”
10/5/2014 1:03:53From Jack’s window–
Jack: Is Bittle going? If he tweets about this I’m taking his phone.
Lardo: bro hates your tweet game, bits.
10/5/2014 1:04:12@twsomething RIGHT.
10/5/2014 1:09:08@twsomething oh no good pun!!
10/5/2014 7:02:36how to use twitter
10/5/2014 12:39:16I’m never deleting that last tweet. #youtried
10/5/2014 13:53:20@nonmodernist Oh my gosh, no no…teammates prank each other all the time!! It’s not flirting.
10/5/2014 13:57:00@fanofalltrades Y'all are being so silly…
10/5/2014 17:41:06Shitty on why Jack doesn’t have a nickname: “When we were frogs, the upperclassmen never gave him one. I tried Jay-Z but that didn’t stick.”
10/5/2014 17:45:59“There was one dick who called him 'The Not-So-Great One’ & I may or may not have punched the fartsucker. I might’ve been inebriated.”
10/5/2014 17:49:56@TheShadierTwin I think some of the guys back then were angry that Jack “was given” the position of captain at the end of his frog year…
10/5/2014 17:57:55@TheShadierTwin We are. *sigh* Apparently we had one or two guys w/ stupid egos. (Who wanted to be captain before Jack decided on Samwell)
10/5/2014 18:00:36@TheShadierTwin Yeah, as much as I could express my indignation about it, Shitty literally could rant about how Jack was treated for hours.
10/5/2014 18:27:03@justchelle I love this!
10/6/2014 1:20:14Nervous thinking about our season starting….I haven’t been on the ice against hostile forces since March. :(
10/6/2014 1:21:09I also haven’t been hit since then…
10/6/2014 16:23:25My bro Rans and I are totally gonna lock down on some PSLs from 'Bucks. So chill. #PSLs
10/6/2014 16:24:32*ahem* I spend an abundance of time around bros, but I’m still not versed in their language.
10/6/2014 16:25:53@angelicangel360 Noooo that was my attempt at sounding bro-y. It’s really hard…
10/6/2014 16:28:54@angelicangel360 I can kind of sound bro-y when I talk to hockey players from other schools.
10/6/2014 16:29:44I did say “chyeah” once on the phone with my mother and apologized immediately.
10/6/2014 17:15:02@angelicangel360 in a “good game” sorta way. I find that chirping with enunciation and an articulate vocabulary is most effective.
10/7/2014 14:28:21Jack: My mom and dad asked if your parents were coming for family weekend…
10/7/2014 14:30:52…So Bad Bob Zimmermann and #MamaBittle might hang out during the Samwell Men’s Hockey season opener.
10/7/2014 14:32:33@angelicangel360 Hahaha….I might….My mother would love to know I was telling the world about her escapades with the Zimmermanns.
10/7/2014 14:35:11Jack seems as confused about our parents as I am. Please, Lord, don’t let them exchange numbers for texting.
10/7/2014 14:36:02@VictoriaPyrrhi Noooooo :( I’m gonna die…..
10/7/2014 14:36:31@angelicangel360 She’s definitely cool, but it will also definitely be embarrassing. :/
10/7/2014 14:36:53@angelicangel360 NOOO!!!!
10/7/2014 14:37:44@VictoriaPyrrhi :( :( :(
10/7/2014 14:39:15@omgcheckplease Coach won’t make it because he has work (read: coaching a game.) but I’m excited for #MamaBittle to meet Jack’s mom.
10/7/2014 14:39:51@VidTuesday NO!!!! THEY NEED NOT SKYPE! Oh my gosh I’m gonna have stress dreams about this.
10/7/2014 14:43:27@angelicangel360 I think Bob knows a lot more about technology than Jack. How this happened, I have no idea. I’m doomed.
10/7/2014 15:12:05@twsomething Oh, TSwift you understand me.
10/7/2014 15:12:47@twsomething I haven’t! But everyone else has. She’s very nice? Supposedly used to be famous?
10/7/2014 15:17:48@twsomething ._.
10/7/2014 15:39:24@silmerin @twsomething Are y'alll somehow in cahoots with my mother….
10/8/2014 1:15:03@GeoffAckbar I have a feeling you’re gonna say Jack.
10/8/2014 11:38:58@KallistaRelford :)
10/8/2014 14:39:48Jack has his notecards and he’s so ready to present his topic to this class full of senior Wellies.
10/8/2014 14:42:21Okay–I’m not going to distract him by tweeting. Cross your fingers y'all he might actually be nervous.
10/8/2014 14:45:53good job jack!!!!!
10/8/2014 14:47:38(that was much much much better than his first presentation. guess who gave him pointers?)
10/8/2014 15:13:07@angelicangel360 ( ◡‿◡ )♡
10/8/2014 15:26:51@angelicangel360 Well…I’m used to doing my vlog and being really upbeat, you know? Jack was worried he was…kinda stiff.
10/8/2014 21:44:09Chowder: “Jack I was just wondering and you don’t have to answer but is it hard thinking about going to the NHL or is it really cool sorry.”
10/8/2014 22:00:11Chowder: “Jack thinks I’m so annoying but he’s so cool i wish i weren’t so annoying Bitty.”
Nooo Jack loves you he just can’t help his face.
10/8/2014 22:35:21I’ve also been listening to this for the last two hours http://t.co/dCpdXvcot6
10/8/2014 22:37:08@omgcheckplease TBH my life was already Beyoncé-only radio.
10/8/2014 22:46:24@alilcoloredgirl rrrrright????
10/8/2014 22:47:12@rad_coolswag Holster knocked on my door to see if I was okay.
I wasn’t.
10/8/2014 23:06:03Half the team is over at the Haus watching hockey. :)
10/8/2014 23:24:53Jack is wearing a Montreal Canadiens cap & Ransom is wearing a Maple Leafs jersey and they were laughing before but now they’re not talking.
10/8/2014 23:58:09@trumpetsolos The Atlanta Trashers.
…WAIT.
(Surprisingly enough, I’m very neutral. U_U;)
10/9/2014 1:56:19(Jack: FUCK yeah)
10/9/2014 2:02:44Chowder: hey Jack are you going to watch the Sharks game or the Kings game if youlike LA uh i’m from San Francisco so–
Nursey: dude. chill.
10/9/2014 13:37:08There’s always those 5 seconds or so when I have to actively remember the first names of my teammates.
10/9/2014 13:37:38(Except for with Shitty. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know his own first name.)
10/9/2014 13:39:01Because some guy in my English class asked if I knew this guy named “Justin” and I think he got upset when I stared at him blankly.
10/9/2014 13:41:38Same Guy: You must hang out with Larissa a lot.
Me:…
Same Guy: She said she manages the hockey team?…She’s a girl.
Me: OH LARDO.
10/9/2014 19:29:31Just walked in on the tail-end of:
Shitty: …and that’s how Jack broke a guys face mask with a slapshot.
Dex: Holy shit.
Chowder: (◕▿◕✿)!
10/9/2014 22:08:27@UGAHockey Where’s the coolest place you’ve ever played? (Er, no pun intended.)
10/9/2014 23:05:32RT @UGAHockey: “center of the city in Vienna, Austria for my English hockey team. the duluth ice forum isn’t bad either.” @omgcheckplease #…
10/10/2014 14:10:34Things I’ll Never Truly Understand: Congratulatory Ass Slapping.
10/10/2014 14:11:42Which–I swear–is 30% of Shitty and Jack’s friendship.
10/10/2014 14:16:06And sorry–if you slap my backside? I’m going to yelp. No one should pretend like this is normal. #GotYourBack (literally)
10/10/2014 14:42:00@nonmodernist Yeah, but I guess when you’ve been playing hockey for your entire life these things are normal.
10/10/2014 14:45:10@nonmodernist I know they do but I can’t help it. :( (I *am* less jumpy than I was during my frog year though.)
10/10/2014 14:53:52@justchelle I’ll have to ask him about it! Shitty *would* be versed on this topic….
10/11/2014 2:29:00Ugh the frogs are roughhausing downstairs…I’m in my room and I can hear Chowder shouting
10/11/2014 2:30:53“NOOOO NURSEY DON’T TELL HIM COME ON NO NO NO” (Unmistakably Chowder)
…But don’t tell whom what?
10/11/2014 2:31:48@angelicangel360 (well I guess looking up halloween costumes isn’t studying but) yes and yes!
10/11/2014 2:46:03CHOWDER’S BIRTHDAY
10/11/2014 3:15:04He didn’t want me to make a fuss!!!!!
(ღ˘⌣˘ღ)
10/11/2014 15:36:01@warblerland13 !!!! IT’S SO CUTE!
10/11/2014 15:36:20@chinchillahips Midnight birthday pie! :)
10/11/2014 16:41:57WJLZ 90.8 Oldies: “Rhiannon” by Fleetwood Mac. ♪ ♪ ♪
10/11/2014 18:39:08@rad_coolswag I’ll let Chowder know!! (He’ll probably be excited that people know him.)
10/12/2014 6:48:15@lndarden YES ALWAYS! OH MY GOSH.
10/12/2014 23:44:11Looking forward to: long bus rides w/ the boys
Not looking forward to: a marked increase in bathroom humor during long bus rides w/ the boys
10/12/2014 23:46:06You’d think there’d only be so many dirty jokes you can make. But oh no! Never underestimate the humor of boys ages 18 to 23.
10/12/2014 23:48:34*the humor of boys and Lardo
10/12/2014 23:51:37@mclaineileen Oh…no…Jack can be funny but it’s usually when he’s not trying.
10/13/2014 1:16:28@VictoriaPyrrhi When Lardo, Rans and Holster have their heads together, it’s usually followed by suspicious snickering.
10/13/2014 12:35:31Holster: Hey, Rans. How much would you give me if I fit all these hard-boiled eggs in my mouth?
(#TeamBreakfast)
10/13/2014 12:45:08@VictoriaPyrrhi unshelled but still
10/13/2014 12:45:32@twsomething (my dad loves that movie) also I think Holster might’ve been watching that
10/13/2014 12:55:22@twsomething You might have to get this information elsewhere…I’m trying not to watch. ):
10/13/2014 12:56:19@twsomething (Nevermind, Shitty just groaned “Only two??? Holtzy you’re the actual literal worst.”)
10/13/2014 13:09:12Walking back to the Haus with Jack: “Huh. Only 5 degrees. Nice out today, eh?” No, it’s cold, you poor Celsius degree using fool.
10/13/2014 13:12:40@ToniMacAttack Oh!! Though I’ve seen Rans and Holster have this argument and I might not want to go there with Jack
10/13/2014 18:59:53Fact: You can wrist shot a hockey puck from my room into Jack’s if both of our doors are open. Proven today by Shitty.
10/13/2014 19:04:56Fact: If Jack wins a wrestling match vs. Shitty, Jack is able to pick Shitty up and fling him into my bed. Proven today by Jack.
10/13/2014 20:36:30@GalactusIsNigh Oh my gosh!!!!!! I hope you’re enjoying it right now! :) Looks great!
10/14/2014 12:12:20Pumpkin Spice Latte Top Secret Chill Bros Handshake. Get jealous, Holster.
10/14/2014 14:00:09@YaviAsad Sorry!!! But you don’t really need Twitter to follow me, do you? :(
10/14/2014 14:08:12Apologies to everyone who got a Twitter account just to follow me. My social media problem is now your social media problem. ♡
10/15/2014 1:34:09@hella_marcella Oh my gosh, so proud. :) :)
10/15/2014 1:42:33Shitty: Dex, brah. If you grew your hair out you’d have some flamin’ flow. Sick carroty lettuce, maaaan.
Dex: I cut my hair once a month.
10/15/2014 13:11:07Me: Jack! You wanna get a Pumpkin Spice Latte with me before class? :) :) :)
Jack: You shouldn’t be drinking those.
Me: :( :( :(
10/15/2014 13:59:24Dragging Jack to Annie’s before class. Without caffeine I am not a southern gentleman.
10/15/2014 14:20:41OMFG few things are funnier than watching Jack guess who’s playing on the radio in here. I can’t breathe.
10/15/2014 14:23:12TOO HARD TO TWEET. He keeps guessing TAYLOR SWIFT. HELP
10/15/2014 14:29:27Jack: It’s way too easy to make you laugh. Make sure you tweet that.
10/15/2014 14:31:24@omgcheckplease He’s actually looking over my shoulder to make sure that I’m tweeting correctly.
10/15/2014 17:57:12@angelicangel360 Oh my God no never
10/15/2014 19:43:24Trying out a cookie recipe my mother sent me while listening to Shitty vent about “fucking expectations man. Fuck graduating.”
10/15/2014 19:51:40Shitty: WHAT IF I went all super senior?? I’d be the creepy old guy.
Shitty: Fuck it I have too many credits I could’ve graduated last year
10/16/2014 0:17:24@maddiestern I don’t want to be an enabler…

But who should I check up on?
10/16/2014 0:18:52@maddiestern You’re gonna make me go all the way up to the attic. The things I do for my followers.
10/16/2014 0:19:22So close to 1000 followers. :U
10/16/2014 0:21:42I’m now going through the Haus to report on my teammates.
10/16/2014 0:22:08Rans: Tell them our room is filled with like, 20 hot chicks.
Holster: And at least half of them are attracted to me.
10/16/2014 0:23:09@omgcheckplease I’m sure everyone believed that. -_-
10/16/2014 0:23:52Okay, who’s next? (There’s not a lot of options. Though I could text some of the frogs.)
10/16/2014 0:30:06I’m pleasantly surprised at how tidy this attic is. Only one empty beer can.
10/16/2014 0:35:09Shitty: tell them my room is filled with 20 hot chicks and none of them are attracted to Holster.
10/16/2014 0:37:48I don’t know what Chowder’s doing but he just texted back “HEY!!!”
10/16/2014 0:40:14Oh, all the frogs are together! That’s adorable. See, they get along. For the most part.
10/16/2014 0:40:59@rad_coolswag “Hey, Chowder! What’s up?” Don’t worry that’s just his response to things it’s normal.
10/16/2014 0:43:03(Lardo was in Shitty’s room btw. She’s stressed out about an art project & getting Shitty to cut out a bunch of felt stars for her? Idek.)
10/16/2014 0:52:38@TheShadierTwin You’re right…maybe she’s angry at him.
10/16/2014 0:53:58And Jack’s door is closed.
10/16/2014 0:55:12Okay, I should really get back to my regularly scheduled evening procrastination.
10/16/2014 10:14:34Why do I have to be awake right now.
-_- -_- -_-
10/16/2014 12:35:59Fav places on campus = the Haus kitchen, the locker room in Faber, and the long table under the ugly portrait in Commons for team breakfast.
10/16/2014 12:51:01@korimichele :) More or less.
10/16/2014 16:08:37Shitty Text: BITS theres an actual reallife golf bro in a cowboy hat in my seminar. For .5 a second thought it was Jack after an impulse buy
10/16/2014 17:14:16@chinchillahips #FriendsWithShittyNamesProbs
10/17/2014 12:57:41Getting called into Coach Hall’s office is like being sent to the principal…Let’s get this over with…
10/17/2014 13:00:36…I didn’t have the best practice today. You can’t throw someone off a team after one awful practice, right?
10/17/2014 14:51:49Dex: Your email’s just jack.zimmermann@samwell.edu? Can’t anyone figure that out?
Jack: …I get a lot of random emails.
Chowder: Oooooh!
10/17/2014 15:29:18@frogy927 It wasn’t great.
10/17/2014 20:19:48Ugh.
10/19/2014 0:37:26True friends are people who have no idea how to bake but try to bake you a pie anyway.
10/19/2014 2:50:36Shitty: JACK ZIMMERMANN IS OUT A SATURDAY NIGHT. ALERT THE PRIME MINISTER.
10/19/2014 2:51:45Shitty: tweet that in all caps and then tweet me telling you to tweet that in all caps.
Ransom: Jesus Shits get a twitter
10/19/2014 2:54:22aLL RIGHT NORTH AMERICA, MY DEAR FRIEND ERIC BITTLE IS OUT OF TWEETING FORM AND WE’RE WORKING ON GETTING HIM MAD HARD CRAZY SLOSHED >:U
10/19/2014 2:55:49@silmerin NGL, LIL’ FREAKED OUT YOU KOW MY NICKNAME
10/19/2014 2:58:29@silmerin ;;;;;;;;;;;;IJJJJ
10/19/2014 3:04:25how famous is Bitty??????????? Someone give us a pizza we’re on Rier quad.
10/19/2014 3:05:25No samwiches
10/19/2014 3:07:556 samwiches, NO CHEESE ON 1 thanks still on RQ
10/19/2014 3:21:46@sarahindie ERIC BITTLE HAS GIANT BALLS
10/19/2014 3:36:42beauts 1000% certified
10/19/2014 5:15:20TOWNIE DID A DOUBLE TAKE AT JACK’S ASS. I LOVE THIS TOWN
10/19/2014 5:16:14God, I’m so sorry about about the previous string of tweets.
10/19/2014 13:04:03Glad our season’s starting soon…don’t look forward to waking up like this on any more Sundays…#notFlawless #FullofFlaws
10/19/2014 15:48:17@CaitMcintyre I’m looking at my life. Looking at my choices. (U﹏U)
10/19/2014 18:10:44@redoliphaunt @fanofalltrades Shitty respects my tweeting, but I’m pretty sure he loathes Twitter. :/ :/
10/19/2014 22:29:10Reasons I don’t do homework: editing videos for my vlog take forever!!!
10/19/2014 22:29:35How many different ways can a boy say “hey, y'all!”
10/19/2014 22:30:40Pretty sure Jack just heard five straight minutes of me going “did you miss me? did you miss me? did you miss me?”
10/19/2014 22:32:01PLUS Editing out the time when Rans & Holster knocked on my door to see if the pie downstairs was up for grabs. I should do a blooper reel.
10/19/2014 22:37:17I literally can’t stand my voice sometimes. I can hear my accent. >:(
10/19/2014 22:39:16@00Hex I am SO sorry–Oh or actually maybe you like your voice!!! I just think I sound really dumb. :( :( :(
10/19/2014 22:41:40@00Hex Maybe I should learn to embrace it…It does make me unique.
10/19/2014 22:42:31@hannza thank you! That’s what people keep saying…maybe I should just believe them. ._.
10/19/2014 22:44:21@hannza (っ˘ω˘ς ) y'all are great for my ego.
10/20/2014 1:27:44@CaitMcintyre ..Oh my. That was a bit of everything.
10/20/2014 4:13:54@AlishaCoolzio Oh my God, that’s beautiful!!!!
10/20/2014 17:27:11According to Ransom, Holster’s coming to the dining hall for lunch “just to rant about this section asshole”. This should be good.
10/20/2014 17:34:20Holster put his backpack down at the table. “Dear GOD this stupid *aSSHOLE*.” And now he left to go to the servery.
10/20/2014 18:02:23Holster: She ASKED. THE TA. IF HE EVEN READ THE BOOK.
Holster: ARRRRRRRRRRGGHH
10/20/2014 18:07:25Holster: I MEAN COME ON. WHO DOES THAT?? a TRAIN WRECK THAT’S WHO. god these fries are good
10/20/2014 18:12:48Rans: Bro I think you just have low blood sugar
Holster: LET ME BE ANGRY JUSTIN
10/20/2014 18:52:16@VioletEyedCat I think they’re okay now. They’re off studying somewhere.
10/20/2014 20:32:23Shitty: If @ErikKarlsson65 does Tumblr you can learn simple UIs
Jack: No
Shitty: ya know ur right, you might delete a precious hockey neuron
10/20/2014 22:12:58@AboveAverageAmy Holster hates most people.
10/20/2014 23:38:24Our final for Food Class will involve creating a dish from an old recipe and thus:
Jack:..I might need your help.
>:)
10/20/2014 23:39:37Jack Zimmermann, if you thought hockey was hard, you ain’t seen nothing yet.
10/20/2014 23:44:53In other news, I’m sitting in the comp sci building with Dex and Chowder who are typing gibberish that’s apparently homework.
10/21/2014 0:43:23Dex: System DOT out DOT print line OPEN PARENTHESIS–
Chowder: oh you didn’t initialize your for loop
Dex: …how did you…do that..
10/21/2014 2:02:08@Edo4869 They keep talking about infinite loops and it sounds complicated. “Debugging”????? Recursion????????
10/21/2014 2:03:56Chowder: we tried to get Nursey to take intro programming with us!
Dex: he said he’s more of a “poetry guy”.
Dex’s eye roll was AUDIBLE.
10/21/2014 2:10:06@HockeyBabbler Dex says he’s pretty sure only one of those will get you a job. (It may sound mean but he said it in a funny way I promise.)
10/21/2014 15:08:44Chirping and flirting are variants on the same idea.
10/21/2014 15:14:36There’s APPLE PICKING the same day as our first game NOOOOOOO
10/21/2014 15:20:00Coach H.: bittle why did you miss the pregame skate
Because I’m foodie TRASH.
10/21/2014 23:55:24@andlovetoo I want to ask them if this applies to them, but then I don’t.
10/22/2014 0:05:51Well. That was definitely a door slam upstairs. Hmm.
10/22/2014 0:09:47Shitty: “Preseason Zimmermann is in FULL EFFECT. I repeat: Preseason Zimmermann is in FULL EFFECT. Do NOT engage the Zimmermann.”
10/22/2014 15:33:38I have NO idea what Jack is drawing in his notes right now.
10/22/2014 15:36:16…He should definitely stick to hockey.
10/22/2014 15:37:48I’m REALLY not trying to be mean but…I can’t tell if it’s a dog…or a walrus??? Okay he definitely saw me goodbye
10/22/2014 15:38:59IT’S A LOGO OOHHHHH
10/22/2014 16:07:56@andlovetoo @youwereghosts ._. I wonder what y'all are saying
10/22/2014 16:08:44@sarahindie Hahah, I don’t think so. It might be a mammal? It might also be a hockey stick I don’t know.
10/22/2014 16:23:40@andlovetoo @youwereghosts no worries!!! Everyone is entitled to their privacy!!
10/22/2014 18:56:32I’d like to state for the record that I have no idea which team Jack L. Zimmermann will sign with.
10/22/2014 18:59:10He’s keeping his options open (according to Shitty). It’s probs. not safe to ask him until we win at least one game. (Preseason Jack)
10/22/2014 19:00:05I don’t want someone from the Swallow citing my tweets in this weekend’s gossip column….
10/23/2014 1:21:23Hanging with my bros in the Norris buttery. #SamwellMensHockey #AttemptingBroSpeak
10/23/2014 1:23:44Holster and Ransom are making me say “sup brah” and “chyeah” because they think I sound funny
10/23/2014 1:26:52Rans: bro, why do you keep lowering your voice like that, just because you’re speaking bro doesn’t mean you’re a caveman
ARE YOU SURE RANS
10/23/2014 2:31:02@maddiestern OH NO!!!!!! I’m so sorry! Please take it easy–concussions are super serious. Oh no. :( :( :(
10/23/2014 2:31:40@maddiestern Seriously, don’t push yourself and get some rest. I know it’s frustrating, but your health is more important.
10/23/2014 13:21:31Why would I do lecture reading at team breakfast when I can listen to the frogs talk about their crushes instead? (¬‿¬ )
10/23/2014 13:28:23Hm, or apparently not crushes. Wait.
10/23/2014 13:29:39Oh, okay, I think Nursey’s trying to set Dex up with one of his friends from Andover for a screw date or something.
10/23/2014 13:31:28Nursey: She does experimental theater & makes her own clothes.
Sick, riiiight?
Chowder: wow!
Dex: That entire sentence was frustrating.
10/23/2014 13:38:04@nonmodernist She doesn’t own a cell phone…and doesn’t check her email on principle. Hmmm.
10/23/2014 13:51:03@nonmodernist I don’t know how he balances being a hockey player and a certified grade-A hipster but he does
10/23/2014 15:53:22@nonmodernist Shitty might be first in line for that and I’m not sure if Nursey likes “labels”
10/24/2014 1:20:22When you accidentally talk to your mother on the phone for an hour. #MamaBittle
10/24/2014 1:22:49Result: she’s sending Jack a care package. #ofcourse
10/24/2014 1:30:02When I told her I was going to ask him first: “Eric Richard Bittle, no one has ever rejected my cookies.”
10/24/2014 1:32:19@AlishaCoolzio Oh my gosh…I’d ask her but I don’t want to plant any ideas in her head…my Moo Maw might make him something.
10/24/2014 1:34:45@steveRbu Middle Name Twinsies!!
10/24/2014 3:07:19@angelicangel360 I think it’d be a pleasant surprise! Plus, I’m trying not to bother him right now unless absolutely necessary…
10/24/2014 3:32:46Can’t sleep. :(
10/24/2014 3:34:39(and yes I tried putting away my phone. do y'all think I have a problem if I compose tweets in my head…)
10/24/2014 3:38:09…Jack’s outside in the reading room…Hm. I knew I heard something but I thought it was Shitty…
10/24/2014 3:38:43brb
10/24/2014 20:50:36Favorite Places on Campus: front yard of the Haus. :)
10/24/2014 21:17:22…??? He couldn’t sleep so we talked! “@MHjournal: What happened with Jack last night???”
10/24/2014 21:18:12Oh–sorry, y'all! I didn’t touch my phone until recently.
10/24/2014 21:20:18Rans & Holster heard us and came down from the attic! But Rans freaked out bc he was pretty sure the roof couldn’t support all of our weight
10/24/2014 23:49:41Shitty: WHELP. My Last First-Game at Samwell Ever is next week.
10/24/2014 23:51:03I love Shitty to death, but must you remind everyone seniors have to graduate?…ugh.
10/24/2014 23:57:24Gosh!! Sorry y'all. I’m not really mad at Shitty. This time next week we’ll be in the 2nd period of our home opener….#nervous（◡﹏◡）
10/24/2014 23:58:03(1) Will coach play me? (2) Even if I *do* play…what if I screw up majorly….
10/24/2014 23:59:26(3) …What if I get hit again?
10/25/2014 1:10:29Okay I finished baking some oatmeal cookies and I feel a lot better. #stressbaking
10/25/2014 16:33:13Rans & Holtzy have figured me out: the simplest way to get me to cook for you is by complimenting my cooking. I’m easy. U_U
10/25/2014 16:44:20Okay, they’re in a pedagogical mood and want me to do educational tweets.
10/25/2014 16:45:45Rans: P. sure only Wellies say 'swawesome, that’s a good one to know
Holster: yeeaah, i’ve only heard it here. Basically it’s anything cool
10/25/2014 16:46:37Rans: like “bro 'swawesome goal”
Hols: or “my prof gave us an extension–'swawesome”
Rans: “Bits just wheeled that dude–fucking 'swawesome”
10/25/2014 16:47:14I’m not wheeling anyone at the moment, thank you very much.
10/25/2014 16:49:55Rans: “wheeling” can mean sooo many things. Like if I’’m on the ice and start going “WHEEL WHEEL WHEEL” I’m telling you to fucking hustle
10/25/2014 16:52:49Holster: or I can say to a guy “he’s got nice wheels” and I’m saying that guy–he’s a good skater.
10/25/2014 16:55:44Rans: off the ice it’s when you’re trying to pick up a girl. Like “wow Shitty’s trying to wheel Lardo”
Holster: busting wheels everywhere
10/25/2014 17:01:17…I think I just sat through #HockeyShitWithRansomAndHolster!
10/25/2014 17:12:14Someone who goes to Samwell! Transfer here and join us! :) :) :) “@AboveAverageAmy What exactly is a Wellie?????”
10/25/2014 17:52:50@AboveAverageAmy Pretty great or so I’ve heard!! Never get to see shows because of games though….
10/25/2014 20:50:14Shitty, Lardo, and I are trying to think of a costume for Jack. Jack doesn’t seem amused.
10/25/2014 21:58:21Jack:… I could be a cat.
!!!
10/25/2014 22:00:26Shitty: SEXY CAT!!!
Lardo: no scary cat.
Me: Grumpy cat!
10/25/2014 22:06:16Jack with little cat ears. (ღ◕‿◕ღ)
10/25/2014 22:40:47@KateRoyce76 He was implying that I was..trying to pick up people…romantically. &lt;_&lt;
10/25/2014 22:42:10@sarahindie I have some options….!
10/26/2014 13:15:27Last (insanely) early morning checking practice with Jack was a success. Quote Coach Zimmermann: “You got this, Bittle.” :)
10/26/2014 13:15:50Jack would be a great coach.
10/26/2014 13:22:34Over b-fast, Jack talked about what he did when he wasn’t drafted & was taking time off. “I actually asst. coached a peewee team.” …!!!
10/26/2014 13:28:34“They were all 11 and 12. They called me Coach Z”
10/26/2014 13:29:01(We’re still arguing about zee vs. zed at the moment.)
10/26/2014 13:30:51@twsomething Oh my God, I know.
10/26/2014 16:06:06@CaitMcintyre THANK YOU. Jack didn’t seem to care that it doesn’t rhyme which truly worries me.
10/26/2014 23:08:29I JUST GOT SAT ON BY RANSOM AND HOLSTER.
10/26/2014 23:10:22If you’re wondering “why did that happen?” the answer is “my teammates are idiots”.
10/26/2014 23:12:47I didn’t grow up with siblings, let alone brothers, so I’m VERY NEW TO THIS.
10/26/2014 23:15:38There’s a pretty gaping knot in the tree in our front yard and when they’re bored Rans and Holtzy try to put me in it. #GotYourBack
10/26/2014 23:17:20@justchelle I’m not sure what happened. I was in my room studying (read: watching music videos) then suddenly I on the ground suffocating
10/26/2014 23:18:02@Kheradihr There’s a reason I love and hate team bus rides.
10/27/2014 12:48:36The Samwell Men’s Hockey team walks across campus on a brisk autumn morning. We’re crunching leaves and laughing way too loud.
10/27/2014 14:53:06text: “stay hydrated this week”
Jack Zmmermann is a special combination of thoughtful and awkward.
10/27/2014 14:54:33WAIT I just got a SMILEY FACE. OMFG.
10/27/2014 14:56:46text: “sorry that was typo”
Why are you allowed to have a phone?
10/27/2014 14:57:23@birdyprincette HE DIDN’T. He doesn’t know anything.
10/27/2014 15:02:17@omgcheckplease *ZIMMERMANN. Well at least I didn’t forget the other N.
10/27/2014 20:40:41@VictoriaPyrrhi ….both I think. I’m sure it’s something to do with his mustache.
10/27/2014 20:51:12Aw, Johnson just called to wish us good luck this week! AW JOHNSON!!!!
10/27/2014 20:53:40“The three-part comic at the end of this semester should be pretty crazy.”
He still loves comics.
10/28/2014 11:59:10@TheCrazyFreak Johnson’s a kooky guy.
10/28/2014 11:59:27@TheCrazyFreak Jack once emailed himself a text.
10/28/2014 12:15:04Okay, Chowder has fully entered zany goalie mode. Johnson would be proud.
10/28/2014 12:21:39Chowder: I had a dream I was in Faber and naked and riding a giant puck like a horse.
10/28/2014 14:01:26Hockey is important, but MUST we have a game on Halloween??? I’m gonna miss SO many trick-or-treating babies in SO many pumpkin costumes.
10/28/2014 16:17:00@angelicangel360 Oh my God…#SamwellHalloweekend2014. When it’s not a matter of if Shitty will be naked but when.
10/28/2014 18:52:02@CaitMcintyre Thank you!
10/28/2014 18:52:25@CaitMcintyre You know, this sport requires so many sacrifices…
10/28/2014 22:23:18Shitty’s plans for Halloween include “beating the shit out of Station and getting unnecessarily drunk for the midnight SSO Halloween show.”
10/28/2014 22:26:23@omgcheckplease (The Samwell Symphony Orchestra does a Halloween show every year. It’s apparently cool to go and not remember it.)
10/29/2014 0:39:43Hm. The frogs are colluding in the corner of this study room. Dex just whispered “…gonna find 3 zimmermann jerseys?”
10/29/2014 14:07:33The girl at Annie’s just wished us good luck on our game this week. I love this town.
10/29/2014 14:50:26@PathIHaveChosen Nope, still in MA. Annie’s is a hip cafe around town!
10/29/2014 14:51:07THAT WAS MY 1000TH TWEET!!!!! OH MY GOD!!
10/29/2014 14:52:43Now Jack’s laughing at me. SORRY I get excited.
10/29/2014 18:17:49Sometimes I see people and just wanna shout from the rooftops “Y'ALL ARE SOOO BASIC”.
10/30/2014 20:26:33Shitty and Jack just walked past the kitchen: “Bro, if you played in Boston and I got into Harvard, we could be ROOMIES AGAIN.”
10/30/2014 20:29:45Shitty wants me to help bear hug Jack into submission; he’s on his own.
10/30/2014 20:31:37@twsomething That’s what I keep saying. But Jack’s canned response is “I’m keeping my options open.” He could play in LA for all we know.
10/30/2014 20:34:00Jack just deposited Shitty on the (gross green) couch in the den. “Shits, that’s like 32-to-0.” “We tied once.”
10/30/2014 23:30:32@MelyndaHuskey I’m trying to avoid getting into a wrestling match with Jack for the rest of the school year, thank you very much!!!
10/31/2014 1:37:07@Edo4869 @MelyndaHuskey You’ll end up like my dear friend Shitty. And I’m not the most well-versed in rough-housing anyway…
10/31/2014 1:38:41Nervous…（◡﹏◡）
10/31/2014 15:56:19Midday skate!
10/31/2014 16:08:48@angelicangel360 Things I did not expect Jack to be: good with kids…
10/31/2014 16:09:07Right outside of Faber Jack signed some kid’s jersey. (Uh….shouldn’t that child be in school?)
10/31/2014 16:24:00@angelicangel360 Oh, definitely! It just not something I expected from him when we first met. (He kind of…shouted at me a lot.)
10/31/2014 17:15:18Heading over to Jerry’s for a pregame meal w/ the boys. (Well, the guys who don’t have MWF afternoon classes.)
10/31/2014 17:25:37Holster: Rans is in LAB. Talk about priorities. Bros before titrations.
10/31/2014 17:26:10Holster: Who am I supposed to sing Werewolf Bar Mitzvah to?
10/31/2014 17:44:06@spookyhyeri #ScienceMajorProblems I’ll never have to do this, but I’ve heard it’s insanity.
10/31/2014 18:09:43Lunch topics include: the bet Dex & Nursey have on who will get the 1st pt of the season, weirdest costumes seen on campus today, the NHL
10/31/2014 18:31:16And now we disperse to rest up before check in. #naptime
10/31/2014 19:18:52Oh no…This is what dorms are for…#SweetBabyChowder http://t.co/hVzmqLPksj
10/31/2014 19:23:43I swear I’m going to get rid of that couch before I graduate…it’s seen the worst of humanity.
10/31/2014 19:26:45Well! I’m going to make some meat pies in the kitchen and not wake this child up.
10/31/2014 19:40:41@twsomething Apparently it used to be a lighter shade of green & looks the way it does now bc of all the liquids it’s been exposed to. D:&lt;
10/31/2014 20:33:30@breakdownhat @sarahindie they’ve been surprisingly gracious with the lack of frog-enslavement!
10/31/2014 20:35:10I wanted to wake Chowder up gently but Ransom and Holster came downstairs and started clapping in his face. :(
10/31/2014 20:36:08Rans: DUDE the last time I slept on that couch I got a rash.
Chowder: OH NO I FEEL ITCHY
10/31/2014 20:39:33Jack’s trying to herd everyone out of the Haus while assuring Chowder he doesn’t have a rash. #OCaptainMyCaptain
10/31/2014 20:50:39@UgochiCI Unfortunately not! Though maybe Rans knows how to make those??? (Not sure if he knows how to make anything tbh)
10/31/2014 21:01:07@UgochiCI I dunno! He talks about it LITERALLY all the time. Seriously.
10/31/2014 21:06:34From now until the puck drops the phrase “LET’S F*&*!@#% GO BOYS” will be said at least once every 3 minutes.
10/31/2014 21:15:41Lardo: sup boys
Lardo: wreck shit tonight
(/◕ヮ◕)/*:・ﾟ✧~ best manager*:・ﾟ✧
10/31/2014 21:17:55If I play Get Me Bodied 10 times in a row I will have the strength to do anything. #EricBittlePregamePlaylist
10/31/2014 21:35:38!!!! My favorite pregame activity–SOCCER. Who will get hit in the face by Shitty’s errant passing this week?
10/31/2014 21:37:13After this I’m putting away my phone. Thanks for all the support!! #SamwellMensHockey #LetsGoBoys
10/31/2014 22:48:28Seconds before Ransom’s face “got sniped” #RIP http://t.co/tf1F8BpQog
11/1/2014 2:03:46samwell 3-1!!
11/1/2014 5:06:56Samwell Halloween 2014 http://t.co/dkxLckUf1W
11/1/2014 5:09:08Shitty’s 100% sure Jack’s only in costume because he scored twice. But I dunno!!
11/1/2014 5:10:34@adventure_bun @birdyprincette Was it…blood curdling?! Jk!! We’re having fun me and the boys will scream with you!!!
11/1/2014 5:11:22@maddiestern TIMES ARE HARD SIR!!
11/1/2014 5:15:14Shitty also keeps toasting to Jack and is demanding a kegster from Jack and Chowder.
11/1/2014 5:16:15Shitty: THIS FUCKING BEAUT OF A GOALIE. LOOK AT HIM. HE’S SEX BETWEEN TWO PIPES.
Chowder: :D
11/1/2014 5:17:35Shitty: Jack Laurent? YOU’RE my best friend. My BEst friend and you’re beautiful and you’re FINALLY A CAT!
11/1/2014 5:46:56@Edo4869 >:D
11/1/2014 15:56:08@RascalBot9 to be fair, he said “you look like you want to take a picture with me”. So it was very subtle coercion.
11/2/2014 13:02:57Jack has laughed at me so much this morning. But I’m laughing at him too so we’re even.
11/2/2014 13:10:13I *did *try to check him this morning & *did* end up on my ass because of it…which Jack found amusing. (It was like running into a wall!)
11/2/2014 13:19:33Topic for breakfast: Jack’s curious about my vlog.
11/2/2014 13:21:03@omgcheckplease which is semi-secret at this point…but to my knowledge none of the boys ever watch it. (which is very kind of them.)
11/2/2014 13:39:39@omgcheckplease …or maybe they just think it’s boring?? I do spend a lot of time talking about crust.
11/2/2014 21:21:16#frogsitting
11/3/2014 1:13:16Walking halfway across campus; just got roped into attending a quesadilla study break (by the ever-hungry Samwell Defensemen)
11/3/2014 1:13:43And I’m *cold* :(
11/3/2014 1:14:48brb, forcing Dex and Nursey to make a cocoon around me. (Never too early to think about Dibs, right?)
11/3/2014 1:47:18Fear…Confusion…Rage. Those were the expressions after the Men’s Hockey Team inhaled half the food at the SamwellCC study break.
11/3/2014 1:53:27Holster lifted a whole tray into the air. As it blocked out the fluorescent lights, some students, shaking, realized among them was a giant.
11/3/2014 1:54:58There’s a quesadilla in Ransom’s pocket.
11/3/2014 1:55:31This night, I do not wear my Samwell Hockey hoodie with pride.
11/3/2014 2:13:55Jack: Rans, Holster, you’re setting a bad example for the frogs…You could’ve taken a lot more food.
ET TU, JACK
11/3/2014 2:18:15Jack’s Study Break Tips: “#1 don’t talk to anyone #2 don’t make eye contact. #3 never feel guilty.”
11/3/2014 2:32:23I choose to be friends with these people.
11/3/2014 2:33:27@Edo4869 I’m shocked. And something more than appalled.
11/3/2014 2:35:27@twsomething He was genuinely disappointed we hadn’t taken more food. So competitive.
11/3/2014 2:36:32@NJDSwarmItUp YES. Two years ago I would’ve run away from a group of boys like this. Now….now I run towards them with freshly baked pies.
11/3/2014 17:55:27Nursey’s so cool, but then he drops a whole plate of pasta on some poor bio major in the dhall and then I remember he’s just a frog.
11/3/2014 20:22:53Listening to Holster talk about annoying people will forever be one of my favorite things in the universe.
11/4/2014 3:56:24I was falling asleep until Jack shouted “Shits! Sleep in your OWN BED” and then several words in French.
11/4/2014 4:01:22(Shitty just shrieked “OW”. Jack’s laughing.)
(Oh my goodness, how are we a functioning hockey team.)
11/4/2014 18:18:26My friend Shitty is what you’d call a “casual genius”
11/5/2014 0:59:19At the library with The Captain.
11/5/2014 1:06:17@birdyprincette I…..will not tell him you said that!
11/5/2014 1:26:40@rad_coolswag hahaha no way!! Shitty probably would though!
11/5/2014 2:50:11Jack: You only tweeted twice while we were working, Bittle. That’s a record.
Jack’s Chirp Game’s Strong.
11/5/2014 2:52:54(To be fair, it’s hard to goof off when you’re in Jack’s peripheral vision.)
11/5/2014 2:55:58Jack wants to walk past Faber.
Taking the long way back to the #HausSweetHaus.
11/5/2014 13:17:30Watching tape with the team to prep for this weekend’s roadie.
11/5/2014 21:37:40Sometimes I forget how hard it is to be a frog…They all look so homesick. :(
11/5/2014 21:39:36(And then I worry about how they get along…Not naming any names.)
11/5/2014 21:43:13I just hope they know they can talk to any of us if they need to….I’m accessible, right?
11/5/2014 21:45:30Plan: do what my mother does and lure them in with home-cooked meals.
11/5/2014 21:55:01@boldmatter I know how it is to miss home…I want to get them all through this.
11/6/2014 1:47:49@chinchillahips It’s how I was raised!
11/6/2014 3:04:59@Southern_Living oh my goodness
11/6/2014 4:03:53I need to go to sleep but Holster and Shitty are doing impressions of Jack and Chowder and it is very important to me.
11/6/2014 4:07:31Shitty: oh no!!!! wait wait wait please don’t touch me with the puck please don’t gah please don’t no no no no no no
11/6/2014 4:15:40Holster: Hi. I’m Jack Zimmermann. A senior at Samwell College. I don’t know who Tina Fey is but what about that ice hockey, eh?
11/6/2014 4:16:22@rad_coolswag I think a lot of colleges do!!
11/6/2014 13:49:10@NerdWired Chowder’s just…special.
11/6/2014 20:14:03Holster is trying to convince Jack to watch Downton Abbey with him. “JACK. ON the BUS. We’re gonna watch the first episode. OKAY?”
11/6/2014 20:29:13@twsomething Holster may reinstall the “no one talks at all while he’s watching TV during a roadie” rule.
11/7/2014 2:51:32I don’t know what cretin invented shoe checking, but I neither understand it nor appreciate it.
11/7/2014 2:58:51Oh! If you don’t know–“shoe checking” is a stupid hockey prank that involves pouring ketchup/etc. on a teammate’s shoes during a meal. 9_9
11/7/2014 19:25:59@totesridics I haven’t listened to all of it yet, but I know Holster LOVES it.
11/9/2014 23:47:19Good weekend!!
11/10/2014 1:17:17I should probably finish my essay but I haven’t baked anything in DAYS. Priorities….
11/10/2014 1:18:46I’m just exhausted…
11/10/2014 1:28:32@savegansey …playing hockey? We had an away game. ._.!!!
11/10/2014 1:33:00@savegansey We won both. To quote Rans: “Jack put the team on his back thoooo”. (Rans scored too so I think he was being humble.)
11/10/2014 15:29:54Samwell always has SO many dances at the end of every semester.
11/10/2014 15:32:05It’s difficult to find acceptable dates for your teammates.
11/10/2014 15:33:39Like, who could I even trust with the pride and joy of Samwell Men’s Hockey, Chowder the Goalie?
11/10/2014 15:35:45Rans and Holster found someone for me last year…and it went…not terrible. But the frogs should have a better winter screw than I did!
11/10/2014 19:38:19@capn_madd_katt Awwww, thank you! :) :) :)
11/10/2014 19:39:14@Edo4869 I don’t know. I have no idea! Maybe I just won’t go this year…
11/10/2014 19:40:42I just had to explain to this guy from my English class why “all those dudes” call me Bitty. It’s a hockey thing.
11/10/2014 19:41:50Because–as he pointed out–I’m not that small. It’s just that most of my friends are over 6-ft and lift weights on a regular basis.
11/10/2014 19:48:03@Edo4869 Jack already has a date.
11/10/2014 19:49:19@Edo4869 And I mean…not like….why would I ever go with him??? Or maybe you were joking.
11/10/2014 21:32:42@CaitMcintyre Rans and Holster’s wheeling strategy is to corner girls at parties and educate them on hockey minutiae.
11/10/2014 21:42:38Dex is asking if it’s good idea to talk to Jack about Kent Parson’s hatty against Calgary last week….why wouldn’t it be?
11/10/2014 21:43:48Apparently it’s not a good idea….according to Shitty anyway. Huh.
11/10/2014 21:44:29CARE PACKAGE!
11/10/2014 21:46:34@Bobby16may Yes, I think so! I should know this…I think he went first? (I should Google this but I’ll just ask Jack later.)
11/11/2014 0:46:16@novelteaseblog SOOOO CUTE!!!!
11/11/2014 0:49:28Things I Talk to My Father About:
- My Ice Time
- My Diet (“More Protein”)
- My Stats
- If I’m feeling OK/“toughin it out”
- Jack Zimmermann
11/11/2014 0:51:31…You know, I should be happy. He actually cares abt something I’m doing. He’s even watching more hockey & listens to WSMC for our games.
11/11/2014 0:53:32And he asks about Jack because…well, my father LOVES sports. He’s just as fascinated as everyone else about what team Jack’ll choose.
11/11/2014 0:55:20You know, Coach and Jack are the only people who routinely suggest I need more protein in my diet…
11/11/2014 0:56:55@bessyboo Coach thinks Jack is a fascinating athlete. I think he wants to meet Jack, actually.
11/11/2014 3:17:12there is literally always someone shouting in this Haus why
11/11/2014 14:41:42Apparently the Zimmermanns want to send *me* a care package now. Lord, Jack and I have aggressively nice parents.
11/11/2014 14:44:58Also: Let’s assume Family Weekend happened and I didn’t tweet about it out of pure embarrassment. ヽ(~_~)ゝ
11/12/2014 1:47:00@CaitMcintyre something…Canadian??? I’m sure Bad Bob has a ton of NHL stuff just sitting 'round the house.
11/12/2014 14:15:05Team breakfast! Dex is trying to get Chowder to explain his puck-phobia.
11/12/2014 14:18:59Chowder: I dunno I guess when I touch them and I’m not in a rink or on the ice it just creeps me out….like, they’re so unnatural I dunno
11/12/2014 14:21:32Dex: …Right, but what if you got a shutout–would you keep the puck?
Chowder: Ooooooooooooh I dunno good question!!!
11/12/2014 14:28:24Dex: Yeah, I don’t have any superstitions.
Nursey: Pssh, hah, I bet you have at least 1.
Dex: I really don’t.
Nursey: Probably like 8.
11/12/2014 14:31:54Oh no…they’re making a bet. It’s too early for this I haven’t even finished my eggs.
11/12/2014 14:39:20Chow: Oooh!! So if Nursey & I prove you’re superstitious, we win!
Dex:…shit. Win what?
Nurse: Yo I don’t even know bro but you shook on it
11/12/2014 14:40:36@librariansti After morning practice we usually eat breakfast together! But then after that we kind of disperse.
11/12/2014 14:44:21So that shouldn’t end well for Mr. Will Poindexter.
11/12/2014 20:04:29@chinchillahips @cheatsoflife Ransom has been talking about building one for months!
11/12/2014 22:27:28Who owns the Haus?
11/12/2014 22:28:13Do we even have a *landlord*?
11/12/2014 22:29:05I feel like Shitty knows the small print concerning our lease–where will that knowledge go when he graduates?
11/13/2014 0:03:27@NerdWired Shitty’s family is pretty wealthy, but I’m not sure they’d buy our humble abode…hm.
11/13/2014 0:04:34Games against Ivy Leauge schools always rile Holster up. (It’s hilarious.)
11/13/2014 0:09:24(Impromptu study hall in the Arts & Architecture library with the boys!)
11/13/2014 0:11:14Jack’s watching NHL highlights on his laptop…
11/13/2014 0:19:07Shitty’s 1st study break of the evening will consist of him giving Jack a shoulder massage & going “GAAAH soft hands” at every other video.
11/13/2014 0:21:36Three people shushed him simultaneously! That’s a record. ♡ (っ◡‿◡ ς )
11/13/2014 0:27:00Shitty: JEEZ that was a dirty dangle. FUCK–undressed, that goalie’s naked. MAN that’s filthy. Niiiiice.
Jack: Uh, Shits, keep it down, eh?
11/13/2014 0:30:03Jack just looked at me & said:
“Bittle.”
….I’m going to finish my paper now.
(。＿。;)
11/13/2014 0:33:11@omgcheckplease I don’t know how this friendship came to be, but here it is, right in front of me.
11/13/2014 13:11:57@MHjournal Like 12-15 times a day.
11/13/2014 13:16:42There are people who sit on Lake Quad benches? And then there’s Nursey. “CHILL. Why would we neglect this obscene pile of leaves? Man.”
11/13/2014 19:08:45@Lil_Magicpuff Me too.
11/13/2014 19:38:37Do you ever think about being with someone but realize it’s impossible and then get really sad so you bake a pie instead.
11/13/2014 19:39:59vvvvv"theoretically"vvvvv
11/13/2014 19:40:39Also, ugh, sorry, y'all. I hate being all mopey.
11/13/2014 19:43:08In other news, Dex and Nursey have found one thing they have in common: their love of chirping Chowder.
11/13/2014 19:48:38(I tweet a lot abt being single, but I’m OK, really. I’m on a great team w/ all my best friends + I go to a wonderful school. I’m thankful.)
11/13/2014 19:49:50(I wish I could tell high school Eric Bittle all of this. It gets so much better.)
11/14/2014 2:05:43@twsomething thank you.
11/14/2014 2:09:06Cleaning the kitchen while listening to Jack talk about the nuances of power plays. :)
11/14/2014 2:13:35That got a chuckle from Jack. “@hannza:can he send some of those ideas to the Sharks?”
11/14/2014 15:53:58Game Day!
11/14/2014 21:35:12Chowder, if you’re watching Dex to see if he has any pre-game superstitions, you gotta be a little more subtle…This child.
11/14/2014 21:36:12Also, is Chowder taking a nap on that (filthy, horrid) couch going to be a pre-game thing, now?
11/15/2014 3:23:03Tough loss at home. :/
11/15/2014 3:24:43Everyone made mistakes and our communication wasn’t there tonight. We just have to focus on a clean start for tomorrow’s game.
11/15/2014 3:25:29…No one hates losing more than Jack.
11/15/2014 3:26:20I wish he wouldn’t blame himself for everything. I hate it. I really hate it.
11/15/2014 3:30:16He’s gotten so much better at *not* taking the entire onus, but he puts so much pressure on himself. I can’t stand it.
11/15/2014 4:00:31LARDO BOUGHT ME FROYO.
11/15/2014 14:17:16@VictoriaPyrrhi Don’t even get me started on that…Chowder started apologizing and Rans told him to shutup. :/ (It wasn’t his fault.)
11/15/2014 15:42:42Brunch. Everyone seems a lot better today.
11/15/2014 17:59:20@TheShadierTwin He’s okay. Ransom and Holster keep messing up his hair to make him feel better. (?) (This somehow works.)
11/15/2014 20:01:08Nursey’s trying argue why The Office is better than 30 Rock and I think Holster might flip my kitchen table.
11/15/2014 20:01:26@omgcheckplease *our
11/15/2014 20:03:10Holster: What seasons, Nursey??? WHAT SEASONS??? What metrics are we using–viewership? Laughs per minute? Emotional INVESTMENT? HM??
11/15/2014 20:03:32Holster: You come into MY HAUS.
11/15/2014 20:05:53(So here’s advice: never shout while Jack’s trying to take a pre-game nap.)
11/15/2014 20:15:53@redoliphaunt He didn’t even say anything…He just came downstairs and looked at them.
11/16/2014 3:49:37Got an assist. :)
11/16/2014 3:52:15(Specifically: asst. Jack.)
11/16/2014 3:52:27@omgcheckplease (I was on his line for about 30 seconds after Wags got speared.)
11/16/2014 3:54:03But…I also got a tripping penalty they converted on…(long story short–thought I was getting checked–went down–took out a forward)
11/16/2014 4:14:31Overall it was a great game! Feels good to bounce back after a loss. Thanks for all your kind words last night! (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)
11/16/2014 4:45:04One of the frogs is going to be in the Swallow on Monday. And I’m being VERY discreet.
11/16/2014 16:01:19Of course Jack is already awake and listening to something awful in his room.
11/16/2014 16:03:16What if I’m sore and exhausted and sit in bed all day outlining my final essay.
11/16/2014 16:51:43@RyVaugner Thanks!!
11/16/2014 16:51:58@librariansti …country???? Ugh.
11/16/2014 16:53:12Why is it okay for girls to have stuffed animals in college, but not-okay for dudes?
11/16/2014 16:55:18What type of stuffed animal can I own and still be considered a bro?
11/16/2014 16:57:01@omgcheckplease …a sidney crosby plush doll? That would be strange…right?
11/16/2014 16:59:07@GeoffAckbar …if I DON’T????? The boys would never let that one go.
11/16/2014 17:00:23I could get chirped for half of the things in my room so maybe I shouldn’t care. (…an entire shelf of cookbooks……..)
11/16/2014 17:01:04@_Thordis oh my god
11/16/2014 17:06:58@boldmatter Ransom’d say yes but he’s opinions on brohood are very constrained.
11/16/2014 17:07:45@GeoffAckbar Oh my god! Next to my Beyoncé poster. They can be friends.
11/16/2014 17:29:40@boldmatter MY FIRST BOOK
11/16/2014 19:28:28Getting texts from Jack Zimmermann himself who is sitting in a room mere FEET away from mine.
11/16/2014 19:28:41Jack: we need to cook for class :/
11/16/2014 19:29:06I’m still staring at that emoticon.
11/16/2014 19:29:22@omgcheckplease Am I impressed??? I don’t even know.
11/16/2014 19:30:03Jack: we can go to stop & shop today
Jack: murder stop & shop
11/16/2014 19:31:52(LT: we have two stop & shops in Samwell, Massachusetts and one is affectionately referred to as “Murder Stop & Shop”)
11/16/2014 19:32:09@omgcheckplease Because someone got “got” there last summer. To paraphrase Shitty. (No one’s gotten got there in a while though.)
11/16/2014 19:32:30@omgcheckplease Dear God I’m annotating texts
11/16/2014 19:34:08Jack: I have a skype call with a GM @ 6. can we go before then
11/16/2014 19:34:46Jack’s Sunday To Do List
- Negotiate Multi-Million Dollar NHL Contracts
- Go Grocery Shopping with Bittle
11/17/2014 2:55:38Told my dad about my assist. Gave a play-by-play and he totally followed along. He’s learned so much about hockey in the last year.
11/17/2014 2:59:07He’s gonna make sure I do stick-handling every day when I’m back over winter break. He was kinda joking?? But kinda not…(I still laughed.)
11/17/2014 22:29:00THERE’S A CAMPUS-WIDE BAKE OFF DURING OUR PRINCETON GAME ASDFKJK;;l I’M FUMING!!!! >:( >:( >:(
11/17/2014 22:30:08I would win. There are times for humility, but not when it comes to baking.
11/17/2014 22:34:23I’ll channel my rage into the game that night.
11/17/2014 22:37:21Would they resched. if I wrote an email: “Hi, my name is Eric Bittle, popular baking blogger / 2-time Madison county fair bake-off winner.”
11/17/2014 22:37:57@warblerland13 SOON.
11/21/2014 19:13:14Holster: We’re in Boston the same weekend as Harvard-Yale. I’m pushing the first kid I see in a Ralph Lauren sweater in the Charles.
11/21/2014 19:15:33Despite my obligatory anti-Cambridge stance, I do love Boston. :)
11/21/2014 21:36:58@librariansti Holster just shouted Ariana Grande!
11/21/2014 21:38:18Nine people in this locker room have 9 very different opinions on salmon shorts.
11/22/2014 13:56:43Good morning! (We won!!!)
11/22/2014 13:59:20Managed to somehow get another assist last night. Guess whose goal… :)
11/22/2014 21:28:20On a scale of 1-10 guess how excited I am to plan a Thanksgiving dinner for ~20 hockey players.
11/22/2014 21:29:11Because obviously, if most of us aren’t going home, we’re going to do dinner at the Haus. (I’ve been thinking about this since maybe June.)
11/22/2014 21:39:03Chowder has the weirdest affect on defensemen. Ransom and Holster are drilling him with questions…
11/22/2014 21:39:58about girls oh gosh leave this child alone to tend his goals in peace.
11/23/2014 19:09:43Sitting out on River Quad with Jack and Shitty.
(Jack - finishing his outline for his senior thesis
Shits - grad school apps)
11/23/2014 21:38:59OK, I said that when I moved in I would never sit out on the roof of the Haus, but I’m starting to understand why Shitty loves it out here.
11/24/2014 1:54:50Just said hello to Bad Bob Zimmermann on Skype!
11/24/2014 2:00:48Sitting in the armchair in Jack’s room. It’s a little nook.
11/24/2014 2:02:19Chowder also said hi & it was adorkable. “Oh hi yeah jack’s a great captain i mean i already told you when you came to visit but yeah!”
11/24/2014 2:04:00Also can I say Alicia Zimmermann is fabulous.
11/24/2014 2:04:30@Edo4869 barely!
11/24/2014 2:10:13(this happened)
Shitty: HEEEEY, Mr. Zimmermann.
Bob: Shitty! The mustache is looking great.
Shitty: Jack, this is why your dad & I are bros.
11/24/2014 2:14:52Alicia: Shitty, you’re making sure Jack’s having fun over there, right?
Shitty: He was cooking w/ Eric last week! He didn’t tell you? JACK!
11/24/2014 2:16:09(Jack keeps tabs on his team, but there’s a network of people keeping tabs on him.)
11/24/2014 2:18:12@omgcheckplease *effect. Wow!
11/24/2014 14:38:02Three hungry freshmen hockey players have arrived at the Haus because “we had no idea the dining halls were closed”.
11/24/2014 14:47:29Texts I get when the smell of food wafts upstairs….
Shitty: are you making bfast dude
Holster: breakfast????
Rans: plz save me bacon
11/24/2014 16:03:52@hannahjeez Sounds like you’re in New England!
11/25/2014 4:20:27Have y'all checked out my latest vlog entry? ✔ ♡ !
11/25/2014 17:20:13Lardo thinks my vlog should get more experimental.
11/25/2014 17:33:12UGH! Shitty can’t come to Thanksgsiving dinner at the Haus.
11/25/2014 17:33:36(“#Hausgiving” - Ransom)
11/25/2014 17:38:23He has to take the train over to Boston to have dinner at his dad’s. “The Knight side of the family is fun. And by fun I mean terrible.”
11/25/2014 17:41:31Shitty: Let’s just say my paternal grandparents are STILL fucking disappointed I chose Samwell over Harvard. Jesus Christ.
11/25/2014 17:42:14….Do people actually get into Samwell and Harvard?
11/25/2014 17:46:01Shitty: These are the same grandparents who won’t come to graduation if I don’t cut my hair, by the fucking way.
11/25/2014 17:46:53@twsomething I think his mom’s in cambridge…and they definitely split holidays.
11/25/2014 17:48:21@angelicangel360 I just see him walking around in wonder woman boxers and eating cinnamon toast crunch out of the box and forget sometimes.
11/25/2014 17:48:57@Moonygirl_ I think they’ve…accepted it? I dunno.
11/25/2014 17:53:38Oh no…impending Bittle holiday get-togethers….with all the awful questions from relatives. I feel you, Shitty. (; ◡_◡ )
11/25/2014 17:54:37@twsomething Probably Extremely Critical.
11/25/2014 18:00:30Jack’s reaction to Shitty missing dinner: a very real frown.
I wish I had taken a picture! Seriously it was an actual :(
11/25/2014 18:02:38While typing that last tweet I missed something because Shitty’s making Jack run his hands through his flow. “Say it’s a beauty Zimmermann”
11/25/2014 18:06:06All RIGHT, y'all. Now turning away from the Spectacle that is Jack and Shitty’s Friendship and I’m going to get caffeine.
11/25/2014 18:44:57@Edo4869 It’s a bit of an open secret? Most of the boys either honor my privacy or don’t care enough to watch it.
11/25/2014 23:21:17quick nursey or dex for a piggyback ride
11/25/2014 23:22:00shitty is officiating this race across river quad
11/25/2014 23:22:43okay wish us luck!!!!
11/25/2014 23:28:26we lost. :(
11/25/2014 23:30:08BUT Dex tripped over the sidewalk and he and Chowder went careening into half thewomen’s volleyball team i am still laughing
11/25/2014 23:31:29chowder is mortified he keeps asking the same girl if she’s okay (they were both in the same pile of leaves for a second there)
11/25/2014 23:33:06(No one tell Jack about this.)
(And Ransom and Holster won, of course.)
11/25/2014 23:38:56“@moggiesandtea: I think they have found his screw date” we’re doing a background check as we speak
11/25/2014 23:43:20@bessyboo A special Chowder Exception. (It’s mostly Ransom asking his contacts about her and me stalking her FB profile.)
11/25/2014 23:43:35@warblerland13 @moggiesandtea yes…and tall.
11/25/2014 23:44:13@twsomething Ransom!!
11/26/2014 3:45:27@redoliphaunt She’s very tall?
11/26/2014 3:47:23Chowder Text 1:
“I HAVE A DATE!!!!!!!!”
11/26/2014 3:49:01Chowder Text 2:
“(FOR SCREW!!!!!!!!!!!!)”
11/26/2014 3:49:31@AlishaCoolzio If I’m anything like my mother at my first middle school dance, then yes.
11/26/2014 3:49:50Ransom and Holster work quickly.
11/26/2014 3:52:45@AlishaCoolzio …Framed on the stairs! Oh that’d be so cute!
11/26/2014 15:30:48@CaitMcintyre U_U who knows!!
11/26/2014 15:31:10@CaitMcintyre maybe I won’t go. idk
11/26/2014 15:47:29Shitty is apparently not above using Dibs to make Nursey rake leaves outside.
11/26/2014 15:57:23…Though Nursey might be doing it just 'cause. #whoknows
11/26/2014 15:58:46Anybody go to a New England boarding school? Shitty and Nursey talk about it all the time…Sounds VERY different from public school in GA.
11/26/2014 17:15:23@slacker_lacker Regattas, for one.
11/26/2014 20:28:58Just emailed out #Hausgiving plans to the Samwell Men’s Hockey email panlist. SUBJ LINE: DINNER TOMORROW + WEAR A TIE.
11/26/2014 20:29:29Or a nice sweater. I’m not picky.
11/26/2014 20:48:17@Lil_Magicpuff Oh my God. Good idea.
11/27/2014 1:20:01My mother called to give me a pep talk. Quote: “You’ll make enough food for everyone AND your pies are going to be a hit.” #jitters
11/27/2014 1:29:30Now Jack just showed me what he’s wearing tomorrow.
(Jack: Is this okay?
Me: ( ˘⌣˘ ) Yes it is. )
11/27/2014 2:00:30@ToniMacAttack I did not!! Wouldn’t be surprised if people sat on their lines.
11/27/2014 2:01:06@redoliphaunt (not entirely sure about that but I’m p. sure the boys’d still eat it.)
11/27/2014 2:08:16There has to be something in the bylaws about how much a captain can chirp you!! GO TO YOUR ROOM JACK
11/27/2014 2:11:29help@!!!
11/27/2014 2:14:27THEREHOULD BE SOMETHING IN THE BYLAWS ABOUT UNWANTED ROUGH HOUSING
11/27/2014 2:15:15is this because shitty’s gone?????????????
11/27/2014 2:15:40well jack’s in a good mood
my hair isn’t
11/27/2014 20:03:57Happy Thanksgiving!! (Y'all!)
11/27/2014 20:08:54#Hausgiving’s going well, this place is bustling with at least a dozen hockey players. (Making so much food!!)
11/27/2014 20:15:41@omgcheckplease Thankful for Dex rn. For helping me cook/keeping non-essential personnel out of the kitchen. Including Jack–a brave frog.
11/27/2014 20:23:40(I can’t believe we have a game tomorrow. In a little over 24 hours I’ll be worrying about avoiding d-men and not this TURKEY.)
11/27/2014 20:25:50#BacktoWork #Hausgiving #SamwellMensHockey :)
11/28/2014 3:40:53SHITTY!!!
11/28/2014 3:49:05“Back in time for REAL !@$%^& Thanksgiving.” - “Shitty” Knight
:’) #GotYourBack
11/28/2014 5:20:57#JackChirps
Jack: All that turkey’s gonna make you slow for tomorrow, Chowder
Chowder: oh no it is!!! but oh no it was so good oh nooo….
11/28/2014 5:21:15@omgcheckplease don’t chirp him Jack….
11/28/2014 6:43:57“Hockey players baking. My brother won’t let me live this down.”
(So that happened. Dex w/ the asst. #Hausgiving.) http://t.co/BZ5HaxpGs3
11/28/2014 17:22:55Holster is upset that Ransom apparently has 'secret’ handshakes with people other than him. #HolsterProblems
11/28/2014 17:37:23Jack asked me if I had a date for winter screw yet. ._.
11/28/2014 17:39:11Well, he was wondering if R&H had found me one…I’m not even sure if I’m going.
11/28/2014 17:47:16Jack said Rans set him up w/ the capt. of the tennis team. “Since I went with her last year. She’s nice.” Not much guessing senior year…
11/28/2014 23:48:14@slacker_lacker *crosses fingers*
11/28/2014 23:50:51@slacker_lacker @librariansti haha, oh my gosh…Jack and I going to a DANCE together….y'all are funny.
11/28/2014 23:55:49@slacker_lacker @librariansti I wonder what he’d even do if I asked…
11/29/2014 0:00:45@slacker_lacker @librariansti Imagine what the talking heads on TV would say about that. (Imagine what my parents would say…)
11/29/2014 4:42:29Definitely got sat on during tonight’s game–but thanks to Ransom & Holster I was prepared. #GotYourBack
11/29/2014 4:44:11Also, the day Chowder gets a shutout I may actually shed tears. So close today–(Samwell wins 4-1.) I’m so proud of him.
11/29/2014 4:46:35Jack talked to an asst. GM today after our game…she seemed really cool.
11/29/2014 4:50:15Thank goodness there’s not a kegster tonight. I’ve had enough people in my kitchen…
11/29/2014 4:50:28@omgcheckplease *our
11/29/2014 4:51:13@birdyprincette !!!! Oh my gosh!!!
11/29/2014 5:54:07@GeoffAckbar Oh! They call me Bitty like pretty much everyone else. :) I don’t mind at all.
11/29/2014 6:21:22@thatnerdnico Oh!…Good question. Mostly Bittle…I guess he doesn’t call me my nickname often, doesn’t he?
11/29/2014 14:28:46What is homework? What is finals? -_-!
11/29/2014 14:36:18Transcribing the following interaction across the hall:
Jack: get the @$% out my room SHITS
Shitty: good morning man it’s 9:30 you slept in
11/29/2014 14:47:28[5 min. of Jack & Shitty talking quietly]
[10 sec. of Shitty laughing uproariously]
[3 sec. of Jack chuckling]
11/29/2014 20:34:15Hanging out at Annie’s with Jack and Ransom.
11/29/2014 20:34:54They are talking about *…drumroll please….* golf.
11/29/2014 20:35:14@omgcheckplease 9_9
11/29/2014 20:39:15“blah blah blah 'my backswing eh’ blah blah 'new clubs’ blah blah 'go out to the course eh’”&lt;–literally their conversation
11/29/2014 20:40:16@bookworm123109 I wanna die
11/29/2014 20:48:42Dear Lord. How can they still be talking about golf? How is there even that many things in golf to talk about?
11/29/2014 21:42:41@KellDel They’re just weird Canadian guys.
11/29/2014 21:42:55@Frizzyhime @teap0tle &lt;_&lt;
11/29/2014 23:01:48@bimmykimmy Oh!! So cute!
11/29/2014 23:14:26…How many @SanJoseSharks hoodies can one person own?
11/30/2014 3:28:41That moment when someone calls you their friend for the first time.
11/30/2014 13:46:51Back from an early morning skate at Faber. :)
11/30/2014 13:49:01Having an entire peewee hockey team recognize you as you’re leaving your university ice rink. File Under: Jack Zimmermann Problems
11/30/2014 13:53:57Took half an hour to take pictures/sign all their stuff. One kid had a Brad Marchand jersey. Jack was like “you know this isn’t me, right?”
11/30/2014 15:55:08@VictoriaPyrrhi …Jack’s sense of humor is ridiculously dry sometimes….or at least I think he was joking???
11/30/2014 16:45:13Lardo’s ability to hang out with both art kids and jocks is incredible.
11/30/2014 16:50:54One of her (super artsy dressed-in-all-black) friends asked her why she wasn’t at the “jam” (???) last night–
Lardo: Oh. Hockey stuff.
11/30/2014 16:52:42@librariansti Ransom and Holster keep bringing it up and Shitty keeps saying “fuck you guys”, so I have no idea.
11/30/2014 16:58:35kegsters/chiling w/ Jack/talking to me re:life/helping Chowder pick classes/playing R&H @ beer pong/talking to nursey abt art =
Hockey Stuff
11/30/2014 17:00:30@librariansti She needed a job and was already hanging out with Shitty frog year. One of the best things to happen to SMH in years.
11/30/2014 21:02:38The comments on my vlog about hazeapalooza….Sorry, but I still can’t talk about it!! #secrets #GotYourBack
11/30/2014 21:03:42Let’s just say everything is done a little different at Samwell…
11/30/2014 21:04:59(And do you think I’d ever let anything happen to our precious frogs? Y'all know me.)
11/30/2014 23:07:09Sometimes with all my tweeting I feel like I’m on a reality TV show. Oh God, is that vain?
11/30/2014 23:36:50@librariansti ^^^*Life Goals*^^^
12/1/2014 3:21:05Going over the river to the freshmen dorms; Dex thinks Nursey is coming down with something. Two things:
12/1/2014 3:22:281. There’s an irony somewhere in going to check up on a kid named Nurse.
2. Dex is legit. furious at Nursey for not taking care of himself
12/1/2014 3:25:08Carousing all night in the cold will affect your health, Mr. Nurse. (Good Lord, Chowder’s blowing up my phone saying not to tell Jack)
12/1/2014 3:26:33@ChanceEncounter Oh my God…I hope they can work things out without resorting to arsenic.
12/1/2014 3:29:36@bookworm123109 Chowder doesn’t like disappointing people…
12/1/2014 3:31:01@breakdownhat U_U; He really isn’t tho.
12/1/2014 4:35:14@caesarofthebog hmmm…Column A and Column B?
12/1/2014 16:28:50pass my finals + survive our next games before break + bake some interesting things + winter screw = all I need to do over the next weeks
12/1/2014 19:56:06@twsomething yup
12/1/2014 19:58:20@splendourella @twsomething uh….well, I’m not sure I should talk about it on social media…
12/1/2014 19:59:16@twsomething it’s nothing…really…according to Rans just some Samwell athlete. It should be fine. :/
12/1/2014 20:00:36@twsomething He asked me “rugby or crew” before he texted someone…*sigh* I hope we have things to talk about.
12/1/2014 20:02:45@splendourella @twsomething Rans worked his social network aka All of Samwell Athletics. It’s actually rather impressive tbh.
12/1/2014 20:04:12@twsomething Rugby. (Rans promised an English accent so…. :/)
12/1/2014 20:08:02@twsomething Yeah… I’m hoping for a pleasant evening that is not at all Swallow worthy. And I *do* trust Ransom…
12/2/2014 0:00:31@AboveAverageAmy @twsomething 1. won’t have friends who throw up on my shoes (9_9 last year) 2. will believe me when I say I play hockey
12/2/2014 0:09:50@AboveAverageAmy @twsomething But you seem nice–this guy was p. awful.
12/2/2014 2:19:29Shitty: My dad just asked me if I’m “thinking about getting a haircut” anytime soon.
12/2/2014 2:21:38Uh oh. I don’t even think I would recognize Shitty without his flow…
12/2/2014 2:50:58@maddiestern pretty close to it. U_U!!
12/2/2014 2:51:41@ro_mm_ck I know, right?
12/2/2014 15:15:05I’d like to pour one out for my GPA this semester.
12/2/2014 15:15:54Did y'all know I was taking a calc course this semester? I apparently didn’t either.
12/2/2014 18:28:40@defenestr8dbun I mean I went? And I learned? And I might be able to demonstrate that I retained?
12/2/2014 18:30:43@mcollinknight right??? I need a whole nother month to study for exams…
12/2/2014 18:34:17I was freaking out to Jack about finals and he just looked at me and said “17.”
????
12/2/2014 19:47:56Jack: That’s the number of pies you baked in September. In case you were wondering where your time went.
12/2/2014 19:48:16#ChirpGameStrong
12/2/2014 19:50:15@omgcheckplease Cute, but I definitely made more than that. Are you even counting mini-pies? What about savory pies, cookies, and cakes?
12/2/2014 19:54:07I wonder if he made an Excel spreadsheet or was old-fashion and just tallied everything up in a notebook.
12/2/2014 20:49:54@redoliphaunt ):
12/2/2014 20:57:30@omgcheckplease …old-fashioned*
12/2/2014 21:03:25@omgcheckplease As in, I’m surprised Jack owns a computer because he’s really “old-fashioned”
12/2/2014 21:06:37Rans & Holster have a list of study breaks they wanna crash… I still remember the carnage of the SCC Quesadilla Break. When will it end?
12/2/2014 23:23:48@chinchillahips >:0
12/3/2014 3:52:49@CountryLiving *takes note*
12/3/2014 4:01:59Should be asleep but here I am. 🐥
12/3/2014 4:05:05@librariansti
Jack: 🐥
Shitty: 🐥
Ransom: 🐥
Holster:🐥
Me: ✋
12/3/2014 15:00:06Watched tape for the Cornell game with the Boys.
12/3/2014 16:21:09Good coaches make all the difference.
12/3/2014 16:24:26Getting texts from three different teammates about chicken tenders in the dining hall. #GotYourBack
12/3/2014 22:13:45@Modern_Dear I haven’t regretted it! :)
12/4/2014 1:40:57If everyone’s going to get this worked up over Winter Screw, I dread the hullabaloo for Safety Dance, Spring C & Pond Day…..
12/4/2014 17:56:56@TheCrazyFreak The Pond is involved. And so is drinking. Because Samwell.
12/4/2014 18:09:13Did a game of H-O-R-S-E with Chowder and Ransom at the end of practice today! Do not let the pads fool you–Chowder is very agile.
12/4/2014 18:10:49And yes, one of my trick shots did flex my figure skating muscles. We had a bit of an audience at the end; it was fun.
12/4/2014 19:40:59@Modern_Dear @ArendWinter Oh!!! We just tried different shots to the net. Pretty sure Chowder was a forward in a post life…
12/4/2014 20:14:16Today’s Kotter Cafe Coffee Talk: How to Discuss Varying Opinions on Current Affairs Civilly & Intelligently w/ Will Poindexter & B. Knight
12/4/2014 20:15:31@omgcheckplease I’m just going to sit here pretending to revise my essay and not contribute because I’m not informed enough
12/4/2014 20:17:54@omgcheckplease they keep linking each other to articles and going “that’s an interesting take”
12/4/2014 20:18:23@omgcheckplease on the other hand, I keep linking Holster to music videos
12/4/2014 22:16:07@sherrengton Beyoncé is the most important current affair tbh.
12/5/2014 1:27:10Holster and Lardo are teaching Nursey the finer points of pong. Because “we have a legacy to upkeep in this Haus.”
12/5/2014 5:09:09@warblerland13 Probably all three since no one got any of my pie.
12/5/2014 16:40:50Holster and Shitty are currently sorting the Samwell Men’s Hockey team into the houses from Harry Potter.
12/5/2014 16:41:59@omgcheckplease They can’t agree on anything and are shouting. The guys at the end of the table are staring at them….
12/5/2014 16:44:07OK Holster’s taking out a notebook to get everything down. (And said in his particularly booming Holster voice: “HOW DO WE HAVE 0 OVERLAP??)
12/5/2014 16:45:18Holster and Shitty are currently chirping Ransom for never having read Harry Potter.
12/5/2014 16:46:09@omgcheckplease Ransom: how am I getting chirped right now for NOT doing something dorky????
Because Samwell, Rans.
12/5/2014 17:04:10@omgcheckplease
Ransom: just don’t put me in jigglypuff
Holster: are you Jack. are you trying to be jack right now
12/6/2014 1:51:00@AboveAverageAmy …I would like an explanation!
12/6/2014 9:09:50…drunk frat guys are arguing across the street….if I give them leftover pie maybe they’ll go away so I can sleep -__-
12/7/2014 4:33:21There’s a lot of things I want to say right now, but it’s raining, and I told my date I was going to the restroom 10 minutes ago.
12/7/2014 4:36:20(Like, about our game this afternoon. But you prob. already saw the box score at http://t.co/7QGHnF4Wyg)
12/7/2014 4:38:32…But. Everyone’s having fun.
12/7/2014 4:40:47And though opinions vary among the #SamwellMensHockey team, let the record show: Jack Zimmermann is not a terrible dancer.
12/7/2014 7:36:21Sitting under the south quad statue with the boys. Ughhhh the Haus is so far away.
12/7/2014 7:37:09Shitty definitely doesn’t have a flask in his suit jacket.
12/7/2014 7:39:31@omgcheckplease And if he did, it definitely wouldn’t be making rounds. Ooops, it’s definitely not coming to me.
12/7/2014 7:45:19Two Samwell WS’s down, Two more to go.
12/7/2014 7:46:10@omgcheckplease I hope the frogs had a good time. Well, Chowder and Nursey aren’t here, so they probably did.
12/7/2014 7:51:38@omgcheckplease Have no idea where Rans is. And Holster just left to walk his date back.
12/7/2014 7:52:50@omgcheckplease We’re all gentlemen, aren’t we? Jack walked his date back to her apartment too.
12/7/2014 7:55:52Oh my goodness, yes, we’re heading back. Can’t feel my fingers. Good night!
12/7/2014 18:45:23Things I’ll miss next year: hearing the aftermath of Shitty barging to Jack’s room in the mornings.
12/7/2014 18:47:50Shitty: DEETS DEETS DEETS DEETS
Jack: ….I have no deets, man.
12/7/2014 18:51:50@omgcheckplease Shitty: don’t give me any of that dumbass zimmermanns don’t kiss and tell bullshit.
Jack: get out. OF MY BED
12/7/2014 18:59:57@omgcheckplease
Shitty: no one will do this with you in the NHL
Shitty: shhhh don’t fight ow ow ow
Shitty: why do you resist my snuggles
12/7/2014 19:02:44Right, time to leave! I can hear most of what they’re saying….It’s definitely none of my business what Jack & Shitty did last night.
12/7/2014 19:02:54@omgcheckplease (And none of yours!)
12/7/2014 23:54:32Dex’s expression 60% of the time is “how do these people exist”
12/8/2014 2:24:18@RascalBot9 Yes!! Tried a variation of this a while ago–waiting to get home to try it with my mom!
12/8/2014 2:30:30Ransom: it’s reading week
Holster: yup gotta study
Ransom: how many kegsters can we throw
Holster: probably 9
12/8/2014 2:32:42(After I started complaining)
Ransom: My dear Bits. If you’re drunk when you’re studying, all you have to do is take the test drunk.
12/8/2014 2:33:50How do these people exist.
12/8/2014 2:36:03@bebek1ng Really??? Do I win??? When three dozen Wellies are regurgitating pecans all over my floor??
12/8/2014 14:28:41Stopping by the coaches’ offices to ask about that new between-the-dots play. And also about their favorite pies.
12/8/2014 16:10:24@freetobeLaynie I’m but another humble ambassador of the South and its hospitality. U_U
12/8/2014 18:30:15Coffee at Annie’s!
12/8/2014 18:33:26Tip: never suggest that someone with an English accent buy an English muffin; if they laugh it’s probably because they’re a v. nice person.
12/8/2014 23:59:52Ugggh this essay. I only know how to do three things: bake, skate, and run a semi-popular baking vlog. :c
12/9/2014 4:41:28@gaIchenyuks He won’t stop watching it. I believe he actually thinks it’s cool? …that child…
12/9/2014 4:41:51@capn_madd_katt That is true; I am an expert.
12/9/2014 4:43:18@AboveAverageAmy Oh, Rans is all highs & lows. Imagine him happy & enthused, getting all hyped for a kegster? Now imagine the exact opposite
12/9/2014 4:49:06(Holster warning the frogs.)
Holster: right so rANS IS IN A BIT OF A STATE RIGHT NOW? JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE? WE’RE ALL GONNA BE FINE.
12/9/2014 4:50:40Holster: CHOWDER. DON’T TALK TO HIM
Chowder: I wont!!
Holster: CHOWDER!!! I’M SERIOUS!!
Chowder: I WON’T I WON’T I WON’T!!!
12/9/2014 4:52:39Nursey: …Wow. Rans needs to chi–
Holster: YEAH NOPE DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT RIGHT NOW NURSE
12/9/2014 4:54:55@maddiestern He might have. The frogs are scared now….or maybe Dex is just amused I can’t tell with him sometimes.
12/9/2014 5:27:48@caesarofthebog !!!! So cute!!!!
12/9/2014 5:55:35@megsnewcar Commiserate with your friends! We’ll get through this together!
12/9/2014 18:08:02Awwwwww, Chowder’s getting interviewed by the Daily.
12/9/2014 18:13:58They’re gonna put a clip of it + some game footage up on the Samwell athlete profiles page. Aghh! It’s gonna be great! (He’s so nervous!)
12/9/2014 18:16:33Chowder: aw man ….I hate my braces.
Me: D: D: D:
Chowder: ): ): ):
12/9/2014 22:58:23I now have a venn diagram in my notes comparing rugby and American college football. (We should really be studying.)
12/10/2014 3:28:56Jack finished his essay for our history seminar already. HOW????
12/10/2014 3:31:56Jack: I’m sure you’d be done too if you had tweeted it.
Jack: Is that an option?
12/10/2014 3:33:22@omgcheckplease
Jack Zimmermann: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
12/10/2014 3:35:03I try to prepare myself for Jack Zimmermann’s chirping but I am never ready.
12/10/2014 3:38:44He’s so happy with himself right now. And Jack doesn’t have that many expressions.
12/10/2014 3:39:11@omgcheckplease #🐥
12/10/2014 21:52:54Dex asked if I read the short in Sports Illustrated about Jack. It’s called “The Prodigal Son” so yeah, nope, probably never will.
12/10/2014 21:59:25@omgcheckplease Well actually “Canada’s Prodigal Son.” That somehow makes it worse. He’s not Justin Bieber!
12/11/2014 17:19:54Ugh….What do you get a high school football coach for Christmas???
12/11/2014 17:22:27And don’t you say a son that plays football because that ship sailed when I traded my peewee football pads for skates with sequins.
12/11/2014 19:14:25At Founder’s with the Samwell Defensemen. My friends are all over 6'1”.
12/11/2014 19:18:54Our study break matinee features Adam Birkholtz wearing sunglasses and singing Nick Jonas’s “Jealous” at Rans. He relishes in the falsetto.
12/11/2014 19:22:21Nurse: Would you ever sing to me?
Dex: No.
Nurse: You’d totally sing to me.
12/11/2014 19:31:32Girl in the Corner: Could you guys *please* shutup?! I have a final tomorrow.
Holster: Oh my god i’m so sorry but i sTIIILL GEEET JEEALLOUSS
12/11/2014 19:37:13Girl, leaving in a huff: the hockey team….I knew it….
Nursey: sing to her Dex
12/11/2014 20:00:04@CanisLuka ….He wears a lot of under armour polo shirts. And camo when he goes hunting with my uncles???
12/12/2014 1:59:29When I finish the next paragraph of my paper, I’ll be done with the only class I’ll probably ever take with Jack…
12/12/2014 2:55:14uuuurg actually nevermind I HAVE TO DO CITATIONS URRGH!!!
12/12/2014 17:01:36I’m going to throw out that couch before I graduate.
12/12/2014 17:54:16@Drachellm -______-
12/12/2014 17:56:30@redoliphaunt Chowder might throw a fit, but it’s for the best. He shouldn’t be incorporating disease-ridden furniture into his pregame rit.
12/12/2014 17:57:47@Drachellm Chirps from my own followers; what is the world coming to….(Jack is somewhere on campus laughing I bet.)
12/12/2014 18:18:09@redoliphaunt tbqh I wouldn’t care if he slept in my bed??? But I don’t want to weird him out. Especially if Jack decides to bang on my door
12/12/2014 18:19:51@redoliphaunt Because he’ll do that. “Bittle.” BANG BANG BANG. “Wake up.” BANG BANG BANG. “We’re heading over.” BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
12/12/2014 21:21:52@maddiestern Don’t be like me.
12/12/2014 21:26:32Apparently Jack is in “Procrastinate by Bothering Bittle Mode”. I’m not a fan.
12/12/2014 21:27:53Doesn’t he have important hockey related activities to attend to???
12/12/2014 21:30:13Jack: what are you blogging about
Jack: is that the camera you use
Jack: oh wow you write a script
12/12/2014 21:32:57Jack: what’re you texting
*shows him tweets*
Jack: I said “where’d you get that camera” not “is that the camera you use”. Come on, Bittle.
12/12/2014 21:34:21Give this boy back to Montreal.
12/13/2014 0:48:18@hannza *cackles at the idea*
12/13/2014 0:50:22@hannza “hi. I’m Jack Zimmermann. Today I hit the gym and did some resistance training. Had a good breakfast….Ok. bye. Please subscribe.”
12/13/2014 0:52:18@hannza “Hi. I’m Jack Zimmermann. Re-read Guns Germs & Steel. It was pretty good. Gonna go for a run. Okay. Bye. Please subscribe.”
12/13/2014 0:57:41@maddiestern VERY GOOD QUESTION!!!!
12/13/2014 4:13:06Holster: KEGSTER
Ransom: TOMORROW
Holster: THE HAUS
Ransom: WE INVITED 1000 PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK
12/13/2014 4:13:30D:
12/13/2014 4:14:22@KateRoyce76 :( :( :( :(
12/13/2014 4:15:28@Edo4869 I’m sure you’re invited!
12/13/2014 18:48:20@ArendWinter I’m planning on locking my door and hiding all the good china!!
12/13/2014 18:48:41@ArendWinter (we don’t have any good china) (the good solo cups?)
12/13/2014 23:50:35Overheard at Samwell:
Guy 2: why the address to the hockey house?
Guy 1: I have a taxi to BOS at 6AM & I’m afraid I’ll wake up there
12/13/2014 23:51:12@omgcheckplease #ImTerrified
12/13/2014 23:55:57Overheard at Samwell:
Guy 1: don’t do lines tonite dude you have a final
Guy 2: what why would I??
Guy 1: Jack Zimmermann does a ton of coke
12/13/2014 23:59:12Girl 1: Gettin schwastey toniteee
Girl 2: you guys heard about the party?
Guy 2: everybody’s heard.
Guy 1: Lucy you never fucking called me
12/14/2014 0:01:24I need to leave this cafe before I start an altercation.
12/14/2014 0:53:26Rans and Holster have an excel sheet for this kegster. I don’t know what’s on it but its very existence scares me.
12/14/2014 0:53:42Rans & Holster: #EpiKegster
12/14/2014 0:57:03If I do have a good time it’ll be thanks to whatever Shitty and Lardo ARE BREWING IN OUR BATHTUB.
12/14/2014 0:58:21Me: what’re y'all making in the tub?
Shitty: kegster punch
Me: what’re y'all making the frogs do?
Lardo: kegster chores
12/14/2014 1:16:28@TheCrazyFreak IT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE!! Don’t they know about drug testing? And I guess people can cheat those…but look at his GRADES
12/14/2014 1:17:53@TheCrazyFreak And you don’t put up TWO PLUS points EVERY game if you’re on illegal drugs. People are idiots.
12/14/2014 1:18:37@TheCrazyFreak Ugh. I need some kegster punch….
12/14/2014 1:44:28Shitty: Chowder, you’re not even allowed to LOOK at this punch
Chowder: WHAT???
Lardo: finish your frat chores
Chowder: ): ): ):
12/14/2014 3:53:22Have you ever had 40 people walk into your house at once.
12/14/2014 4:16:24[a wild Jack Zimmermann appears]
12/14/2014 4:19:22Me: *talks to senior hockey captain so he won’t be an awkward wallflower*
Senior Hockey Captain: *seems grateful*
12/14/2014 4:39:07Jack: I’ve only experienced one #EpiKegster
Jack: it took up two issues of the Swallow
Jack: no I’m not kidding
12/14/2014 5:02:54Shitty: JACK ZIMMERMANN HAVING FUN AT A COLLEGE PARTY
Shitty: IT’S AN #EPIKEGSTERMAS MIRACLE
12/14/2014 5:16:21“Oh my fucking GOD that’s FUCKING Kent Parson!” - Some Drunk Lax Bro at #EpiKegster, (probably.)
12/14/2014 5:16:37No, sweetheart, that’s Jack Zimmermann. #Bless
12/14/2014 5:18:37@thatnerdnico some VERY drunk person
12/14/2014 5:21:24Should I be worried about Nursey crowdsurfing
12/14/2014 5:27:13Oh goodness. And I’ve lost sight of Chowder. ._.
Bodies/sqft = 1000. It’s gonna take me 3 minutes to get to the kitc
12/14/2014 5:27:54and I droped my phoen
12/14/2014 5:38:06Oh. It was Kent Parson!!
12/14/2014 5:55:34lord, I’m getting starstruck
12/14/2014 6:00:26I shouldn’t’ve had any of that tub juice; this is too much
12/14/2014 6:18:09All right; I’m going to do it. Wish me luck.
12/14/2014 6:21:06Had to get a pic w/ NHL star Kent Parson!! #SamwellUniversity #TypicalSamwellParty #EpiKegster #NHL #omgcheckplease http://t.co/b2RNHB00QZ
12/14/2014 6:21:26!!!! HE’S SO NICE!!!!!
12/14/2014 6:26:39Where is Jack?
12/14/2014 15:09:55Well, the frogs survived.
12/14/2014 15:11:18(survived is being generous)
Me: good morning!
Nursey: hhhhmmmmnngggggrrgghhhhhhhhhhh
12/14/2014 15:32:45Step One: Clean My Kitchen
12/14/2014 15:56:45Shitty: [AIRHORN]
Shitty: right [MEGAPHONE] IF YOU’RE NOT ON THE HOCKEY TEAM GET THE FUCK OUT MY HAUS
Rando: …ghwha?
Shitty: [AIRHORN]
12/14/2014 21:05:11I might be high on Pine Sol but you can eat off the floors in this kitchen now.
12/14/2014 23:26:00@MHjournal …in his room? Or maybe he’s back form the library.
12/15/2014 0:31:37Shitty should be packing but “the den just got degrossified and I need to destroy Rans at FIFA one last time before 2015”
12/15/2014 0:38:22Shitty’s driving Jack to Logan after their finals which makes sense since Shitty’s from BOS, but then again Shitty w/ time-sensitive tasks??
12/15/2014 1:38:44@slacker_lacker Y'all aren’t peasants!! My love life is….pretty much nonexistent. I don’t know how or why anyone would even care about it.
12/15/2014 1:39:41@slacker_lacker (AND YOU’RE NOT A PEASANT!)
(Unless you’re living in serfdom of some sort. Then carry on.)
12/15/2014 5:19:07Can’t wait to go home, but I’m also going to miss this Haus. :/
12/15/2014 14:45:11Oh Dear God.
All of the frogs are in the Swallow.
12/15/2014 14:47:35Rans: …is this what new fathers feel like? *whispers* Hashtag EpiKegster.
12/15/2014 14:55:22Holster: Ah, yes. My favorite photo spread: “How Many Wellies Posted Pictures of Themselves With NHL Stars to Social Media? We counted.”
12/15/2014 15:00:26@omgcheckplease
Shitty: Parser, what a bro.
Holster: Guy remembered my major. That’s just classy.
Lardo: Respectable at flip cup.
12/15/2014 15:31:49@twsomething Just in case any future employers check my social media: “No, I definitely was NOT in the Swallow.” Definitely.
12/15/2014 15:32:55@ialsolikewinter I think words like “notoriety” were invented because of the Swallow.
12/15/2014 19:51:25Okay, Jack & Shitty are fixing to head out. I’m going on a very dangerous mission. Wish me luck.
12/15/2014 19:52:19If I don’t make it, give any stuffed animals in my possession to Chowder.
12/15/2014 19:52:47@omgcheckplease Or maybe Nursey. No Chowder. Put my Dibs up for lottery.
12/15/2014 20:12:30***MISSION ACCOMPLISHED***
12/15/2014 20:13:31And now to wait… 🍪
12/16/2014 0:35:11@CaitMcintyre oh my gosh, please study
12/16/2014 17:22:03Text from Jack: i’m surprised your cookies got through customs Bittle
(◡ ‿ ◡ ) He found them.
12/18/2014 15:47:24MamaBittle: I’m going to the grocery store.
Me: *already in the car*
12/18/2014 21:38:14Coach: You decided on a major yet, Junior?
Me: American Studies.
Me: *whispers* so I can study food.
12/18/2014 21:41:26I have no idea what my father envisioned me doing with my life but it probably didn’t involve vlogging about gourmet cupcakes.
12/18/2014 21:42:09(tbh, I didn’t envision that either, but here I am. Lord, I love cupcakes.)
12/18/2014 21:44:49@TanukiHero ^^^Life Goals^^^
12/18/2014 21:45:47@TanukiHero I need to go on a baking competition show. How many Youtube subscribers do I need before I can be a celebrity judge?
12/18/2014 21:50:42Topics on the Samwell Men’s Hockey Winter Group Text:
- Football
- “Things I’ve Eaten”
- What do I Get My Mom and/or Sister
#MyDearFriends
12/18/2014 22:57:37@thatnerdnico Jack has an impressive knowledge of most sports, especially football! (Though Dex and Holster are the experts in this case.)
12/18/2014 22:58:43@thatnerdnico I think Jack could’ve been a QB….which is weird because my dad was a QB…
12/19/2014 14:17:34@chococlouds Nope!
12/19/2014 18:31:51Jack: hey
Me: hi Jack!!
Jack: what’s that song
Jack: that’s like…halo halo or something
Me:…halo?
Jack: thanks
Jack: *hangs up*
12/19/2014 18:39:56Jack: hey
Me: why hello again, Mr. Zimmermann
Jack: Shitty wants to Skype
Me:. …okay?
Jack: …okay
Me: …
Jack: …
Jack: bye
12/19/2014 19:13:28@sherrengton I think he believes in being as awkward as possible
12/19/2014 19:19:57I miss all of my friends’ accents.
12/20/2014 0:22:12#ERROR!
12/20/2014 0:25:45#ERROR!
12/20/2014 0:27:07#ERROR!
12/20/2014 0:34:43#ERROR!
12/20/2014 2:12:08@jem_stern @maddiestern incredible!!!!
12/20/2014 2:17:05@jem_stern @maddiestern ..still staring at this…..
12/20/2014 2:19:55@jem_stern @maddiestern deal! :)
12/20/2014 5:54:59I am friendless in Madison so I will continue to transcribe my teammates’ texts.
12/20/2014 5:56:26@omgcheckplease I actually think they like the small levels of celebrity they’ve achieved.
12/20/2014 5:58:59#ERROR!
12/20/2014 17:04:05My mom’s friends are like the 40-60 yo female versions of my friends.(Except cooler.)
12/20/2014 17:20:18My mother is explaining “Mr. Crappy” to her friends. I am *cackling*.
12/20/2014 17:21:23My hockey escapades are not for the ears of these lovely and refined women.
12/20/2014 18:04:52@KaileyK Oh, without question. Teach these women beer pong and Rans & Holster will have to turn in their “bro cards”.
12/21/2014 2:00:54Dear Santa, for Christmas I’d like my hockey butt, thank you. - ERB
12/21/2014 2:06:44@ashpags @sherrengton @breakdownhat @lavishness !!! Tasty!! :) :) And you guys all know each other!!! Cute!
12/21/2014 2:23:38@redoliphaunt Toned but Tiny – the story of my life.
12/21/2014 2:25:23My birthday’s in May. Maybe I’ll get it by then. :/
12/21/2014 2:27:39And oh my goodness!!!! Did I not tweet about Shitty’s birthday yesterday? I guess I was all caught up Bittle Family Relations.
12/21/2014 2:30:25@GeoffAckbar …or lack thereof.
12/21/2014 2:31:40@captainneedles I’m not expert on astrology, but I think it makes sense, doesn’t it?
12/21/2014 2:34:22@twsomething I think so! Although I’m fairly sure Jack’s lonely in Montreal glad-handing with the hockey elite.
12/21/2014 2:36:09@captainneedles !!!!!!!!!!!!!
12/21/2014 2:36:37@captainneedles That’s actually pretty scary.
12/21/2014 2:37:41@twsomething I think Jack loves us!!!! He’s a great captain!
12/21/2014 5:38:19Chowder: Hi Bitty!!!!! I just wanted to say hey because man you were RIGHT you do get Haus sick after being away from Samwell!
12/21/2014 5:39:09Chowder: oh my god i forgot about the time difference
Chowder: i’m so sorry!!
Chowder: g'night!!!!!!
12/21/2014 5:43:18Goaltender with a heart of gold. #SweetBabyChowder (◡‿◡)!
12/21/2014 19:50:42When you’re back in your hometown and you run into past crushes X_X
12/21/2014 19:54:18Mind you, a crush that never amounted to anything. Never would, anyway… (Trust me.)
12/21/2014 19:57:52Ugh. The dumb fantasies you have when you’re 16.
12/21/2014 20:00:32Why do I always fall for people that I *know* I’ll never be with?
12/21/2014 20:01:41Right. I hate being mopey. Need to make a pie. Maybe I’ll call one of the frogs…
12/22/2014 5:32:10Best conversation my dad and I have had in days: laughing about Kate Middleton meeting Beyoncé.
12/22/2014 5:37:32Coach: They just don’t get that in America, they can’t enforce their royalty.
Me: And that Beyoncé is royalty everywhere.
12/22/2014 12:27:19@baalalalaa “Where the Green Grass Grows” by Tim McGraw.
12/22/2014 19:42:51@_KateAlyssa I shudder at the thought.
12/22/2014 19:47:02Rans: pie withdrawal. shaking. send help. send filling. Lol
12/22/2014 20:13:58@VioSarc ;) Punny!
12/23/2014 23:05:52@VioSarc Please do not tell my friends Justin and Adam about these.
12/24/2014 0:06:18The number of “ain’t’s”, “no ma'am’s” and “yes sir’s”, and casual double negatives I’ve used in the last 24 hours is staggering.
12/24/2014 0:07:21@omgcheckplease Also don’t even ask me about my grammar my aunt has been letting me taste test her very special egg nog
12/24/2014 0:09:52Most of my relatives’ response to my playing hockey–“ain’t that a lot of hitting?”
-_-
12/24/2014 0:10:35@omgcheckplease I’m WELL aware
12/25/2014 16:29:26Merry Christmas, y'all! ♡ ( ◡‿◡ )
12/25/2014 21:23:24Everyone please remember the reason for the season: my Moo Maw’s pecan pie. 🙌 #TrueGenius
12/25/2014 21:24:01@omgcheckplease My cousins say Mee Maw. I’ve been saying Moo Maw since I was 2.
12/25/2014 21:32:12Also, my phone has been blowing up all day. Is anyone on this hockey team spending time with their families?
12/25/2014 22:54:37#ERROR!
12/25/2014 22:54:46@omgcheckplease Shitty: Jesus
12/25/2014 22:56:15@omgcheckplease We have a game next YEAR.
12/26/2014 0:05:53Turning off group chat notifications…why do my teammates love bathroom humor… -___-
12/26/2014 2:29:57Shitty: I’m super grateful for gifts and everything but I legit got my grandpa’s old Harvard cufflinks for xmas and Bits I’m going to scream
12/26/2014 2:32:44Excuse me while I listen to my friend vent about “law school” and “family traditions” and “how @#!*%!! b-school is always an option”
12/26/2014 2:36:26My Friend Shitty’s Opinion on Business School
“HBS is a #$%@#!! JOKE.”
12/26/2014 2:38:25@omgcheckplease Shitty: I’m not applying after “2 yrs” w/ ob experience. I’m never applying. Do I look like someone who wants an MBA?
12/26/2014 15:56:51#ERROR!
12/26/2014 17:03:22I’m going to my cousin’s wedding in Feb. Embarrassing–but I think about my wedding sometimes. (OK. Frequently. Esp. the catering.)
12/26/2014 17:05:15Goodness, talk about putting the cart before the horse. I should probably (1) start dating someone, (2) move to another state….
12/26/2014 17:11:40@librariansti I like planning events with lots of food and people and dancing. Why WOULDN’T I think about my wedding???
12/26/2014 17:17:08@librariansti ….*sighs* Deb balls. :( :( :(
12/26/2014 17:18:27Sorry, that’s all my aunts talked about yesterday. Nuptials on the brain….But not like I have a scrapbook or pinterest board.
12/26/2014 17:20:22Also, I’m 19.
12/26/2014 20:09:13@breakdownhat I’m not getting married in college!!! I mean. Will I live in GA after I graduate…ugghh….don’t wanna think about it.
12/26/2014 20:09:27@breakdownhat #EricBittleAvoidsTheFuture
12/26/2014 22:56:38Once we get back to Samwell, which of my teammates would do squats with me every day? (a) Chowder (b) Lardo © Holster (d) Other
12/26/2014 22:57:28@omgcheckplease Ransom: #FlyBittyBooty2015
12/26/2014 23:11:13@justchelle @nonmodernist …oh my goodness. Is this a thing we’re actually going to do. I don’t want to commit to anything!!
12/26/2014 23:11:55@justchelle @nonmodernist But I also hate my behind….
12/27/2014 19:45:13I forgot that grown men can wear overalls. #AdventuresInGeorgia
12/27/2014 20:07:33Ran into some football players I graduated with/my dad coached. Awkward pleasantries bc we have *NO IDEA HOW TO INTERACT WITH EACH OTHER*
12/27/2014 20:10:22The entire time I’m trying to work in: “oh, I play *hockey* now. With guys twice my size. Very dangerous. Goodness, I’m such a bro.”
12/27/2014 20:13:44@hella_marcella #FlyBittyBooty2015 #BetterBittyBootyBureau (Holster came up with that one)
12/27/2014 20:16:01@librariansti @redoliphaunt I try so hard to bro and I fail so hard.
12/27/2014 20:18:55@hella_marcella #GitErDone
12/27/2014 20:20:32@librariansti @redoliphaunt I’ll pin that to my feed for a while!
12/27/2014 22:36:49@lijimiri Same thing to be honest
12/27/2014 23:46:25….should I go to a NYE party with a bunch of football players? :/ (I’m consulting my teammates.)
12/28/2014 4:52:42Re: NYE with Georgia football players. Rans & Holster social media stalked most of them & concluded: “looks like a bunch of wrenches, bro.”
12/28/2014 4:53:29@omgcheckplease Rans: like, a full toolkit.
Holster: They’re running a Home Depot over there.
12/28/2014 18:22:38My mother is determined to get Jack to visit us in GA.
12/28/2014 18:24:41@omgcheckplease “He can come over the summer and stay with us. Don’t you think that’d be nice?” If he even has the time…
12/28/2014 20:23:49@redoliphaunt Jack and Coach would be two peas in a pod and that terrifies me.
12/28/2014 20:25:51@redoliphaunt ^^^^YUP JUST A LITTLE^^^^^
12/28/2014 21:51:54@redoliphaunt My dad: NOW, Jack, I woulda chosen [insert NHL team]
and then he would’ve listed all of the reasons why
for two hours
12/28/2014 22:02:46My baby-child, my son and ward, the warm ray of sunshine that is the net-minder Chris “Chowder” Chow….no longer appears to be single.
12/28/2014 22:03:54@omgcheckplease (I don’t mind tweeting this since he texted me “I WANT TO TELL EVERYONE!! I DUNNO!!! YEAH!!!! :) :) :)”)
12/28/2014 22:04:31Apparently he and Volleyball Girl are both from California….
12/28/2014 23:42:57@twsomething Oh. I’ll talk to her.
12/28/2014 23:53:10@twsomething Ugh, lemme start planning a mixer with the volleyball team….they’re all so tall. (Read: so much taller than me.)
12/29/2014 3:26:22Very thankful my mother doesn’t watch my vlog…she’d learn things about me that she need not know. (… right now)
12/29/2014 4:05:40@Anixancy Ugh, I know…I shudder at the thought.
12/29/2014 18:31:37Sometimes I wonder how y'all explain my blog/twitter to other people…“he plays college hockey but also bakes pies?” Oh, maybe that’s it.
12/29/2014 18:34:06“And he knows Jack Zimmermann?” (And then you either have to explain who that is or if your friend is Canadian, they already kind of know.)
12/29/2014 18:36:44“And he has a friend named Shitty.” Good luck trying to explain that; I mostly just avoid addressing it.
12/29/2014 18:38:49“…And he goes by 'Bitty’? Because his last name is Bittle? And in hockey everyone has nicknames???” (At this point you’re just rambling.)
12/29/2014 18:39:24@twsomething ME AND RANS WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS!!!
12/29/2014 18:39:49@twsomething Rans and I* WHATEVER. Colloquial grammar!
12/29/2014 20:26:08@Anixancy My résumé is equally ridiculous.
12/29/2014 20:28:34@twsomething But his parents (and grandparents) might be there. They *have* to call him something. B….Braxton? Barney. Boyd.
12/29/2014 20:29:28@twsomething *will definitely be there. (And to be honest, I gave up on this midway through my frog year. )
12/29/2014 21:07:02@twsomething …I don’t know. Shitty is DEFINITELY not cutting his hair until playoffs (if we get there *knock on wood*)….but who knows.
12/29/2014 23:40:20Do you think I could get a HGTV show to come and rehab a frat house? (Throw away couches, etc.)
12/29/2014 23:43:30In addition to ghosts (ask Ransom (actually ask Holster or Shitty)), there must be a ZOO of squirrels AND raccoons living with us.
12/29/2014 23:45:26The pipes leak. There are holes in the walls. One time Rans and Holtzy played too many games of Halo and the power went out.
12/29/2014 23:47:34…And I really miss it? #HausSweetHaus
12/30/2014 3:39:18YES. Jack butt-texted the group TEXT.
12/30/2014 3:39:31@omgcheckplease My day is made.
12/30/2014 3:40:08He shouldn’t’ve admitted to it. Rookie mistake.
12/30/2014 3:40:32My phone won’t stop vibrating from the CONSTANT CHIRPING. #🐥 #GotYourBack
12/30/2014 3:40:54#HolsterHasBeenWaitingForThisDay
12/30/2014 3:46:45#ERROR!
12/30/2014 3:57:09@twsomething
Jack: edijdia;;;;;;;;;;;:-):-):-):-)
Jack: :-):-)
Shitty: WHAT THE FUCK
12/30/2014 3:58:43@twsomething Friend, that would explain a lot.
12/30/2014 6:48:06@startledredhead If Holster were a shark, this faux pas would be a wounded sea lion.
12/31/2014 0:37:50@baalalalaa Oh my goodness, maybe. He got a book about generals of the American Revolution for Christmas. 9_9
12/31/2014 3:46:52@Gomidog YES!!!!
12/31/2014 18:12:59Everyone is reflecting on their 2014s so I have to as well, *obviously*.
12/31/2014 18:15:15There were ups & downs, but overall I could not be more grateful for my family, friends, and team. (And my kitchen w/ the old janky oven.)
12/31/2014 18:15:41I met a ton of fantastic people! Including our incredible team manager and my sweet, helpful, and “chill” freshmen teammates. #Bless
12/31/2014 18:16:54We had a great run in the ECAC playoffs this spring. And though I experienced some setbacks, I played the most exciting hockey of my life.
12/31/2014 18:17:17And of course, I also took smalls steps in becoming more true to myself. <3
12/31/2014 18:18:54…And I apparently baked 17 pies in the month of September. I’m glad someone was keeping track. :)
12/31/2014 18:19:26Here’s to a great 2015! I wonder what’s in store?
1/1/2015 17:09:38I think I watched Beyoncé’s 2013 Superbowl performance at least 10 times last night.
1/1/2015 17:36:31Oh my god. Holster is having lunch in Toronto w/ Rans’s family. Then they’re roadtripping to Samwell. The dedication!
1/1/2015 17:43:09@omgcheckplease Apparently Jack wasn’t into driving 5.5 hrs to Tor. to get Rans / driving 2hrs Buffalo to get Holtzy / then 8 hrs to Samwell
1/1/2015 17:43:31@kathalcyon @angelsaves @katarin I’m *cackling*
1/1/2015 17:43:51@bjwillo They are! As am I.
1/1/2015 17:52:11@omgcheckplease Re: Jack’s reluctance to roadtrip
Holster: obviously he doesn’t want us spilling Tim Horton’s in his dad’s ferarri.
1/1/2015 18:26:01@twsomething (But of course Holster would never admit this.)
½/2015 3:24:34“OK, Bittle,” I say to myself. “Fold all your underwear and finish packing and never mind you have no self control watch that music video.”
½/2015 3:29:21I’ve been getting snaps from Ransom all day. Most of them are candid clips of Holster singing with so much soul.
½/2015 3:30:31@omgcheckplease And somewhat successful attempts at harmonizing? They aren’t bad.
½/2015 3:31:47@00Hex Oh, don’t let him fool you! Holster is a large boy with a large amount of emotion.
½/2015 6:02:03How would y'all describe my “personal style”? I’m looking at my luggage and I’m shocked by the number of cardigans I own.
½/2015 6:02:51(But how else are you gonna layer? Seriously.)
½/2015 6:05:46Please ignore me for the next hour I’m discovering new and fascinating ways to procrastinate.
½/2015 6:07:34@DreamerFayEllen It does not! But that sounds delicious.
½/2015 6:11:04I have to be reasonable: I don’t need three rolling pins.
½/2015 6:53:02Ransom just texted #HausSweetHaus so I’m assuming our defensemen have returned…I’m not going to tell him I haven’t finished packing >_>
½/2015 23:38:40OMG Boston, Please! <3
½/2015 23:39:40@omgcheckplease Come on, Samwell Shuttle don’t fail me now. I love the T, but I love you more.
1/3/2015 0:33:45*enters Haus*
*immediately do squats w/ Rans*
#BetterBittyBootyBureau2015
1/3/2015 0:39:31“Hey, Bittle. Oh, squats. Good.”
- Jack Zimmermann
1/3/2015 16:50:00Quick conditioning this morning and afternoon practice later!
1/3/2015 17:03:51Chowder’s reaction to coming back to Samwell: “Wow!! It’s like I never left! But I totally did because I really missed you guys!!
1/3/2015 17:04:14@omgcheckplease #SweetBabyChowder
1/3/2015 17:09:51Nursey: You miss me, Poindexter?
Dex: No.
Nursey: You’re always free to skype me.
1/3/2015 17:10:05@omgcheckplease I’m starting to figure out who’s the instigator…
1/3/2015 17:42:23…What am I going to call these freshmen when they aren’t frogs anymore? :(
1/3/2015 20:48:35@TheCrazyFreak My stomach just dropped. Ugh.
1/3/2015 22:17:44@Anixancy /denialNotAsStrongAsMine
¼/2015 1:09:16“That food seminar was something, eh?”
- Jack Zimmermann
¼/2015 1:10:29@omgcheckplease That was Jack’s unsolicited response to me saying “I have no idea what I’m taking this semester.”
¼/2015 1:12:49Me: What do you mean?
Jack: It was…different, you know?
Me: …
Jack: …
Me: …
Jack: It was fun.
Me: Oh!
¼/2015 1:17:28@omgcheckplease Just translating Jack speak into normal people speak.
¼/2015 1:20:55@omgcheckplease Sitting next to Jack at dinner was a mistake
¼/2015 1:23:00@omgcheckplease
Jack: Hmmm still tweeting, eh?
Me: [bracing]
Jack: [old chirps]
Jack: [new chirps]
Jack: [chirps he thought abt over break]
¼/2015 1:29:00@omgcheckplease Jack: I told my mom about all your tweeting? She says you’re not following her. I’m more surprised than offended, Bittle.
¼/2015 1:32:51@omgcheckplease Jack: Shitty, don’t you think I should get a “tweet” transcript or something since he quotes me so much? For legal purposes.
¼/2015 2:22:05@wastedtoday Incredible.
¼/2015 3:03:26There’s always that adjustment period where I get used to Shitty being in his birthday suit half the time.
¼/2015 3:03:51Well, at least he’s wearing socks.
¼/2015 16:26:06Afternoon game! #LetsGoBoys
¼/2015 21:15:27Good win, even if I got banged up a little! Spears over body checks any day imho.
¼/2015 21:19:18@omgcheckplease (It wasn’t that bad. They always manage to find the places the pads don’t get to, you know?)
1/5/2015 6:22:11@slacker_lacker very aggressive poking!
1/5/2015 6:23:04@ungilded I may’ve just gasped.
1/5/2015 16:00:05Shopping Period 📚📕✏
1/5/2015 16:03:48The Psychology, Biology, & Politics of Food WAS AMAZING. Ugggh, a perfect lecture class. I will take EVERY food class at Samwell!
1/5/2015 16:05:42ugh….why do I have to fulfill quantitative reasoning requirements? Maybe I should take a compsci class. Computers are important, right?
1/5/2015 16:11:53Hm…..writing credit for a 200-level ENGL seminar on daily journal writing and the rising art of the blog.
1/6/2015 0:48:33A surprising number of my emails are food alerts to the samwell men’s hockey panlist.
1/6/2015 0:51:55To: ******samwellmenshockey@samwell.panlist.edu
From: ******bittle@samwell.edu
Subj: DINNER: HONEY GARLIC CHICKEN
first come first serve
1/6/2015 1:04:20Chowder: *HUFF* I RAN ALL THE WAY HERE *HUFF* MAN IT’S COLD *HUFF* IS THERE STILL FOOD?
1/6/2015 1:07:46@omgcheckplease Chowder: I was in a study group too but mmmm thus is rll goof bitty thanf mn malwys hngry
1/6/2015 13:09:12When you slip on ice on the way from the rink and YOUR ENTIRE TEAM CHIRPS YOU AT ONCE.
1/6/2015 13:10:55Shitty: J Titty Christ–Bits, you okay?
Me: Ye–
Shitty: good [CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP]
1/7/2015 2:04:47Oh my God. How do Jack and Lardo not talk when they’re studying. It’s been an HOUR.
1/8/2015 2:39:47Finishing up a pie and listening to Jack & Shitty talk about their frog years. :)
1/8/2015 2:41:52@nonmodernist Yeah! Jack is usually brushing and flossing by now too, so that’s nice. (Early bedtimes and what not.)
1/8/2015 4:27:15@slylilgoblin Lots of stories about how the team has changed! The team manager before Lardo wasn’t nearly as cool, apparently.
1/8/2015 15:17:20@JackWills This outfit is adorable.
1/8/2015 15:30:51I have no idea what I’d do without Dex. This oven refuses to behave. U_U;
1/8/2015 16:51:15@CarolynLikesIt He apparently helped his uncle fix appliances! I have no idea how many uncles Dex has & where his practical knowledge ends.
1/9/2015 2:59:18Porn or Shitty Watching NHL Highlights
Shitty: Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh yeah. UNF, just drive it in there god that’s dirtHOW WAS THAT A PENALTY.
1/9/2015 3:01:02Shitty: Lookit those hands. AWUGH. So freaking filthy.
Jack: You know exactly how you sound.
1/9/2015 3:08:25Shitty: Oh yeah, Parson had the…
Jack: Hatty. Second one this season.
1/9/2015 3:09:08@omgcheckplease …it was all over Sportscenter.
1/9/2015 16:12:03Chowder: Bitty, why does Shitty never wear a jacket? Does his mustache keep his whole body warm????
1/9/2015 16:13:34@omgcheckplease He wears a jacket all the time. He’s just being stubborn right now.
1/9/2015 21:10:08@baalalalaa right?
1/9/2015 21:12:08I should do a vlog about where I sit on the bus for each roadie. Sometimes I just wanna yell at a laptop with Holster.
1/9/2015 21:18:18I’m discovering that I’m awful at chirping. I can neither dish it nor take it.
1/9/2015 21:22:25Nursey spilled soda all over his dress pants today, and I fussed over him instead of “pointing out how stupid & dumb he was” (A. Birkholtz.)
1/9/2015 21:28:31@ungilded *sigh* He dropped his laptop in the middle of Lake Quad and all he said was: “whoa. chill.” Dex still laughs about it.
1/10/2015 0:55:54@sherrengton I have to admit she’s very sweet…And very tall.
1/10/2015 2:54:48@NectariaP I have to deny applications to adopt Chowder once a week; I’m sorry.
1/10/2015 3:00:47Rans: …bro. every game of words with friends can easily turn into words with enemies
Hoslter: …*bro*
1/10/2015 14:42:58@stupidporigde Wish I were having these for breakfast!
1/10/2015 15:23:06Afternoon game! Wish us luck. （￣^￣）b
1/10/2015 22:04:58jack’s hatty tho ⭐⭐⭐
1/10/2015 23:48:03I love this stupid team.
1/10/2015 23:49:48Dex: Jack, how often do you do that?
Jack: do what?
Jack: …oh…you mean get hat tric-
Shitty: HE SAID IT
*EVERYONE THROWS HATS AT JACK*
1/10/2015 23:50:28Jack Zimmermann is covered in hats and laughing.
1/10/2015 23:51:18We’re going to get kicked out of this restaurant.
1/12/2015 0:31:08getting off the bus like “ow i just played hockey all weekend”
1/12/2015 0:33:09After roadies, guess what’s the first thing I do?
(this question is very nearly rhetorical)
1/12/2015 2:34:33Remember, everyone. If you TALK to people about things, they can HELP you with them.
1/12/2015 2:35:41You know, it’s probably none of my business anyway.
1/12/2015 2:38:49@omgcheckplease Whatever. It was a month ago.
1/13/2015 2:12:26Maybe I should stop tweeting about my friends.
1/13/2015 15:26:58I’ll make some cookies this afternoon.
1/13/2015 20:27:30Cookies! ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ
1/13/2015 20:28:03@omgcheckplease (…And I’m in a better mood. I find it hard to stay grumpy, esp. after I bake something.)
1/14/2015 0:58:23If Jack and Shitty don’t write their senior theses they don’t have to graduate, right?…Right?
1/14/2015 1:00:08Shitty has to write TWO theses since he’s double majoring. Oh Lord–it was hard enough for me to choose one major.
1/14/2015 14:54:44Dex has spent all of breakfast trying to get Chowder to take this compsci course with him.
1/14/2015 14:59:26I’m reminded of when Rans tried to get me to take a gut class on volcanoes with him and Holster. (Rans: UGH DUDE HOT ROCKS IS THE BEST.)
1/14/2015 15:00:05@omgcheckplease I think even the professor called it “Hot Rocks”. That’s Samwell for you.
1/14/2015 15:20:56@twsomething (Ransom: Hot Rocks rocks.)
1/14/2015 16:46:29I don’t know why I expected any of my cookies to be here after practice. ( ._.)
1/14/2015 19:54:00@_beatuss I mean, I won’t argue with you! (∪ ◡ ∪)
1/15/2015 16:14:51It’s all set! I’m getting lunch next week with Chowder…and a certain member of the Samwell women’s volleyball team. (◡‿◡)
1/15/2015 16:16:25What if we had it at the Haus? Would that be too scary? Oh Lord, I’m already starting to obsess.
1/15/2015 16:19:37In other news:
Q: Which Samwell seniors are auditing my lecture on the Psych/Bio/Politics of food this semester?
1/15/2015 16:21:41@ialsolikewinter Agh! Good point. Maybe I’ll get a couch cover for that thing….
1/15/2015 18:39:05@redvelveted It’s one of the most popular courses at Samwell!! And he and Shitty might be taking it Credit/D/Fail.
1/15/2015 18:44:14Holster: WAIT BITS is that food lecture a science credit?
Nursey: hold up, it’s a science credit???
Lardo: did someone say science credit
1/15/2015 18:46:30If half this hockey team takes this class with me I’m going to be somewhat uncomfortable. I see you people EVERYDAY ALREADY.
1/15/2015 18:47:55@00Hex …It’s a giant lecture. *sigh* so maybe….
1/15/2015 19:11:24Chowder just texted me about this “'swawesome” lecture on the science/psych of food that “Nursey found!! You should take it!!!! ” ( ಠ_ಠ)
1/16/2015 0:55:48Our captain is asking if I get enough sleep before games. &lt;_&lt;?
1/16/2015 0:58:14Apparently he’ll wake up to the sound of “music from your room? Or one time you were editing a video of yourself I guess.”
1/16/2015 0:58:39@Kheradihr &lt;_&lt;
1/16/2015 1:04:12“Get more sleep, Bittle. Every game this season is important.”
1/16/2015 1:04:27@omgcheckplease …I don’t know why this made me so sad. Jack says stuff like this all the time…
1/16/2015 1:07:01@redoliphaunt Nothing…unless you make sure we win a NCAA championship. :/ That’s all he wants.
1/16/2015 2:07:46@baalalalaa thanks.
1/16/2015 15:09:47Game day.
1/16/2015 15:11:14@pancaked American studies with a concentration in food culture. (Or that’s what I told my dad.) Alice Atley is my adviser!
1/16/2015 15:12:37@Drachellm Thank you!!!!!
1/16/2015 15:12:47@NONBINARYLIZARD We’ll do our best!
1/16/2015 15:13:02@maddiestern :) Will do.
1/16/2015 18:09:04He always gets to that awful couch before I CAN COVER IT WITH SOMETHING
1/16/2015 18:09:34@dumb_dragons Thank you!!! I’ll keep my head up.
1/17/2015 2:08:10Played a good gritty game, but things didn’t go our way.
1/17/2015 2:09:40@omgcheckplease …Making sure my teammates aren’t too hard on themselves. We all played our hearts out.
1/17/2015 4:03:02@_Thordis Don’t get me started on that goalie.
1/18/2015 0:38:30Ransom and Holster are SO determined to help Chowder get a shutout this season. (Good game!)
1/18/2015 0:43:23But I am so proud of Derek Nurse for getting his FIRST GOAL. (Guess which red-head got the assist on it.)
1/18/2015 0:46:20As Nursey said to the Daily beat reporter: “Every game, we’re going out there for our seniors. We all want to see them have a great season.”
1/18/2015 0:46:42@omgcheckplease Couldn’t agree more.
1/18/2015 0:47:44@hella_marcella Well, I’ve never seen them so happy together!
1/18/2015 0:48:42@00Hex ヽ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ
1/18/2015 3:02:34@teddymackerel ;~; all he wants is to be happy and stop pucks
1/18/2015 6:06:23Haven’t had a kegster since #EpiKegster, but Rans and Holster and Nursey (and Dex?) are singing (caterwauling? (screaming?)) downstairs.
1/18/2015 6:09:01Oh my *goodness*who’s out in the reading room? Whenever we win no one on this team sleeps!
1/18/2015 6:13:20…Sometimes you just need time to think, I guess.
No matter how well you do.
1/18/2015 16:26:56Editing a new vlog with a coffee from Annie’s. 🎥💻☕
1/18/2015 16:45:51@maddiestern I can’t tell the difference!
1/18/2015 17:16:55The pie I’m making for y'all in this next vlog is SO PHOTOGENIC. #cantwait
1/18/2015 18:36:48Shitty is on my bed (with his pants on) and eating an entire apple. Like, core and everything.
1/18/2015 19:00:06THANK GOODNESS Shitty forced me to look out the window with him.
1/18/2015 19:05:05Jack is taking photos of the tree in our front yard with a DSLR.
1/18/2015 19:08:51@omgcheckplease Shitty: Yaaa it’s for his photography class, but I like to pretend he’s going nuts. Hashtag Jack As Second Semester Senior.
1/18/2015 19:15:29He’s showing Lardo his photos. I think they’re talking composition. Aaaand now Shitty’s shouting at him to take a picture of us.
1/18/2015 19:20:02So I’m probably going to be in Jack’s homework assignment.
1/18/2015 19:38:40@redvelveted He took a photo. class soph. yr w/ Lardo! I think he both needs this class to graduate/it’s a laid-back class for spring sem!
1/18/2015 19:39:31@redvelveted I wonder if his photos are any good…
1/19/2015 15:35:59Few things better than a Haus that smells like cornbread.
1/19/2015 15:37:28Also, don’t ask me about the NFL. I already talked to my dad about football for half an hour this morning.
1/19/2015 15:38:31@omgcheckplease Because #MamaBittle isn’t particularly interested and my dad needs someone throw all his predictions at.
1/19/2015 15:38:57@Rilgon Of course!
1/19/2015 15:41:24@ghostzoned Dex was pretty shocked/upset with the SEA win. (Which of course, his defensive half found amusing.)
1/19/2015 21:43:45Remember, always ask before you photograph someone baking. (My hair was a mess!)
1/19/2015 21:48:33Yes, seniors have to worry abt theses and well, Life After Samwell. But it must be nice to take photography classes & audit courses on food.
1/19/2015 21:50:01@omgcheckplease I suppose anything that takes his mind of the upcoming post season is good for him…
1/20/2015 2:41:14Chowder: Hey, Jack! Would you ever think about playing for the Aces?
1/20/2015 2:42:16@omgcheckplease what do I even do…
1/20/2015 2:46:42….now everyone’s talking about how great that would be….
I’m going to clean up the kitchen.
1/20/2015 2:49:38I have to remember to mind my own business.
1/20/2015 2:52:50@baalalalaa It’s really not that simple. And I don’t even know the whole equation. And…I don’t know. I don’t even know.
1/20/2015 13:56:21At breakfast. Okay, I know why Chowder is (adorably) waving at the volleyball table, but why is Ransom? So many mysteries this semester.
1/20/2015 13:58:45Nursey and Dex are attempting to understand Dibs.
1/20/2015 15:38:04…even Ollie and Wicky are in my new food class. Well, if one of them takes a class the other is bound to as well.
1/20/2015 15:42:50@librariansti I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if Coach Murray is there on Wednesday. Maybe he needs a science credit too.
1/20/2015 15:43:44@librariansti And how do I describe Ollie and Wicky?…They fist-bump a lot?
1/21/2015 2:30:59Holster:oh oh oh bro if you’re gonna take pics of us playing COD get my good side
Holster: that is, both sides
1/21/2015 2:32:45Holster: make sure you get how lame rans is
Rans: make sure you get how abnormally large holster’s head is
1/21/2015 2:35:59@omgcheckplease Rans; how do you even put shirts on
1/21/2015 11:17:08how am I used to getting up this early =_=
1/21/2015 17:03:05@slacker_lacker sometimes Rans and I will skate to center ice for impromptu squats during practice. #lifecoach #BetterBittyBootyBureau2015
1/21/2015 17:04:12@slacker_lacker I might have to break out the measuring tape soon…Thank you for asking!!
1/21/2015 18:13:01Chowder: uuuuhm Farmer’s wondering if she should wear a dress? Should I wear a tie?????
I’m scaring these freshmen.
1/22/2015 14:10:36Despite everything that would suggest otherwise, Valentine’s Day is still one of my favorite holidays. <3
1/22/2015 14:19:16I’ve always baked to cope with the fact that I’ve been single for most of my life. (…Maybe that’s why I’m good at it? Hm.)
1/22/2015 14:20:31@emilysgilmores That sounds like so much fun!!! I won’t ask Ransom and Holster to set me up, however….
1/22/2015 14:21:31@DellaLupi As a great man once said…in hockey, you squat a lot.
1/22/2015 14:22:46@emilysgilmores Hm, not particularly…So many of us are single. (Or I don’t know about that fact anymore. Hm.)
1/22/2015 14:45:06@EstrellaSabino *smh* we’ve talked about it.
1/22/2015 14:45:49@baalalalaa there is a fine line between dating and hooking up a lot, I think? I don’t want to label anything…
1/22/2015 14:55:51@baalalalaa You didn’t hear it from me…but…
1/22/2015 14:57:23@baalalalaa Ransom has been spending a lot of time with the volleyball team too…(Are we forming an alliance???)
1/22/2015 16:48:40@slacker_lacker Ugh, you’re right!
1/22/2015 16:54:38Making a quiche for my lunch date with Farmer and that tenderhearted goaltender Chowder.
1/22/2015 17:53:03*gasp* they’re here
1/22/2015 17:53:26just in time the coffee’s ready
1/22/2015 17:55:35She did wear a dress, gosh.
1/22/2015 17:58:29Jack: am i interrupting something?
Me: ye–
Chowder: Jack’s eating with us???? 'Swawesome!
Jack: is that quiche
1/22/2015 17:58:51*sigh* i should put up my phone
1/22/2015 18:00:14Farmer: This is so cozy!!
Chowder: :) :) :)
<3
1/22/2015 18:07:29Eating lunch with Chowder and Farmer…and Jack Zimmermann.
1/22/2015 18:56:17Going so well.
1/22/2015 18:58:30@omgcheckplease We’re talking about our 1st memories as children. (Jack: probably falling down while skating with my dad. Chowder: ME TOO!!)
1/22/2015 18:59:29@omgcheckplease Chowder:uh but my dad not your dad
Farmer: oh my god chris
1/22/2015 19:03:09@omgcheckplease Chowder: did you know the first place I ever skated was Faber??? When my parents were finishing up grad school here!
1/22/2015 19:14:51Farmer: oh, Eric do you want help with the–
Chowder: *shakes head* he’s gonna say no, trust me
1/22/2015 19:15:36@omgcheckplease She might have called me Bitty; I don’t remember, i’m not a stenographer
1/22/2015 19:35:25okay!!! It’s over! Chowder’s walking her to class.
1/22/2015 19:40:21Jack: she was nice, eh? cute
Jack: i bet you’re texting about our lunch now
Me: please keep clearing off the table, mr. zimmermann
1/22/2015 20:23:36@omgcheckplease Jack: ah, i could’ve taken a picture of that quiche
who are you anymore
1/23/2015 13:56:49Never feel bad for doing things at your own pace! :)
1/23/2015 16:26:17@LiaLovesRamen It is not at all a race!
1/23/2015 16:34:49From row 6 on the bus to NY
Chowder: …and we all had quiche!!
Nursey: I wasn’t invited, C??? Yo, CHILL!
Oh, Nursey. You’re so not chill.
1/23/2015 16:38:34Chowder: Uh. Um… Jack,so what did you think of Farms?
Jack: Oh. Yeah, she’s great.
Chowder: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1/24/2015 5:13:16Still amped up after a great game!!! ʘ‿ʘ
1/24/2015 5:15:48(E. R. Bittle G:0 A:1) :]
1/24/2015 5:19:44@thistidalwave Holster got the goal, but he kept saying it bounced off his skate! He says I should’ve got the goal, but I’m just thrilled
1/24/2015 5:22:37I knew there wouldn’t be any place to bake in this hotel…so why is there a rolling pin in my backpack? I’m losing my mind.
1/24/2015 5:25:05@redoliphaunt Thanks!!!
1/24/2015 13:53:25@sherrengton I put it back in my backpack!!! I swear!
1/24/2015 16:14:36“This campus sucks.” - Adam Birkholtz, on the way to the rink before every road game
1/24/2015 17:06:00@ticianademelo obviously!!
1/25/2015 20:58:12Lardo is buried in her hoodie. “Art is hard, Bits. Paintings are like…everything that’s hard.” ): I think she has a show coming up…
1/25/2015 21:00:36I can’t even draw a stick figure let alone turn globs of paint into a picture like you can Lardo!! So yes, I agree, art is very hard.
1/25/2015 21:02:05…is baking sculpting? Hm, maybe only when it comes to cakes…
1/25/2015 21:06:43@omgcheckplease Y'all are right! Food is art that you eat. (But don’t go asking me to create any likenesses in a pie now.)
1/26/2015 17:02:42So. Blizzards, eh?
1/26/2015 17:05:43*…says y'all a dozen times to cancel out any Canadian interjections I might have accidentally just used*
1/26/2015 17:47:22@twsomething I always have enough butter.
1/26/2015 17:48:40@redoliphaunt Oh my goodness. That sentence gave me whiplash.
1/26/2015 17:49:08@Mokuren_no_Ken I’M NOT EVEN THINKING ABOUT THAT POSSIBILITY
1/26/2015 17:49:45@agentxromanova My dear friend, this is like asking if I happen to bake pies a lot.
1/26/2015 18:28:23@65PinkRoses See, I like the way you think!
1/26/2015 20:20:18Shitty apparently finished applying to schools WEEKS ago and told no one. He refuses to say where all he applied…a mystery man.
1/26/2015 23:00:26I’m nervous about our post season…well, I’m nervous about how nervous certain people seem to be getting about our post season…
1/26/2015 23:05:17I guess if it’s your last one…
1/27/2015 1:49:01@baalalalaa brooding. which I guess is normal. But still. :/
1/27/2015 1:50:04@tying_run Oh not at all!! I think he loves the thrill of it!
1/27/2015 1:52:30My mother has called me NINE TIMES today. This Haus has survived worse storms than this, hasn’t it?
1/27/2015 4:20:39Oh gosh…Jack just came back from walking AROUND CAMPUS….he was checking up on the rest of the team…“to make sure they were stocked up”
1/27/2015 17:32:52“Yeeep, Bits. That’s a metric shit ton of snow.” - Shitty, partially clothed, looking out at our front yard, w/ a mug full of hot cocoa.
1/27/2015 17:33:24@omgcheckplease and aviators and a cigar. it’s quite a picture
1/27/2015 17:36:04Shitty: Dex is texting about Dibs for shoveling us out. Christ I love that ambitious little butt nugget.
1/27/2015 17:39:02Jack just asked me if I think this is a lot of snow. I’m not saying anything because I think he and Ransom are trying to chirp me.
1/27/2015 18:01:11@likerlb oh my GOD!! That looks DELICIOUS!!!
1/27/2015 23:17:58@omgcheckplease i’m still salty about this….that silly boy
1/28/2015 0:32:22@Edo4869 Hey!!!
1/28/2015 2:59:53Remind me to tell y'all about the time Chowder met Henrik Lundqvist.
1/28/2015 3:00:30@omgcheckplease Almost met? There was an exchange. Jury’s out on this one.
1/28/2015 3:07:52Okay, Chowder’s going to tweet his story. Please be kind.
1/28/2015 3:08:06@omgcheckplease Or else.
1/28/2015 3:13:03Hello! Hi!!! Wow, hey everyone!!
1/28/2015 3:13:42My name is Chris, I’m the goalie here for Samwell’s hockey team. But you might have already known that??? (Oh but everyone calls me Chowde
1/28/2015 3:13:57r
oops sorry
1/28/2015 3:14:56You might have already known that too (that the boys call me Chowder
1/28/2015 3:15:19Anyway one time I was in New York and me and my sister went to a Ranger’s game!!! IT WAS GREAT!!!! Man!! I wish I had a picture of it.
1/28/2015 3:15:49But this is Bitty’s phone (That’s Eric) (we call him Bitty)
1/28/2015 3:16:36Anyway, so we were at Madison Square Garden and they have these life sized pictures of the players
1/28/2015 3:19:45So I wanted to get a picture with Henrik Lundqvist because he’s a ‘swawesome goalie! (that’s means cool)
1/28/2015 3:20:17And then this guy walked by and offered to take the picture for me but my sister was already taking the picture??? So that was weird
1/28/2015 3:20:42So I was like “no, thanks you!”
1/28/2015 3:21:20So I was like “no, thank you!” (that’s what i meant to type i didn’t say it twice)
1/28/2015 3:21:34BUT THEN
1/28/2015 3:21:54I REALIZED THE GUY!!!!! WAS HENRIK LUNDQVIST!!!!
1/28/2015 3:22:28AND HE ASKED ME AGAIN IF I WANTED TO TAKE THE PICTURE BUT I COULDN’T GET WORDS out of my MOUTH
1/28/2015 3:22:57AND THEN HE WALKED AWAY and my sister didn’t know what was happening SO I DIDN’T GET A PICTURE! Man just thinking about it
1/28/2015 3:23:27Anyway that’s how i met Henrik Lundqvist (kind of)
He was really nice though.
1/28/2015 3:23:54Thank you! Have a good night! (Or day. I don’t know who follows Bitty.)
Bye!!!!
1/28/2015 5:28:01Glad these goofball freshmen are here with us.
1/28/2015 5:30:10Apparently most board games have been banned in the Haus???
1/28/2015 5:30:56Shitty: Oh yeah. Jack and Holster played an intense game of Catan once.
Shitty: Once.
1/28/2015 5:35:55@omgcheckplease
Jack: yeah well i wasn’t the one who flipped the board
Holster: yeah well i wasn’t the one with the CRUEL SHEEP EMPIRE
1/28/2015 5:37:02@omgcheckplease Jack: it wasn’t cruel
1/28/2015 5:46:38Jack wrestling Holster is FAR more entertaining than Jack wrestling Shitty. This is what happens when we don’t have practice in the AM.
1/28/2015 16:47:35“I’m gonna go take some pictures for class,” said Jack Zimmermann casually traipsing into two feet of snow.
1/28/2015 16:51:02@omgcheckplease Holster: Jack’s kind of weird.
1/28/2015 16:52:08@omgcheckplease Rans: he’s just Canadian. I get it.
Holster + Shitty: no nah you’re not that weird nope brah
1/28/2015 16:52:50Maybe he’ll be back in time for pie.
1/28/2015 17:01:03@twsomething …well, it’d be better if it were warm. since he might be cold? (if he ever gets cold)
1/29/2015 4:19:26Ransom thinks about a lot of things other than hockey, grades, and kegsters…
1/29/2015 4:20:08@omgcheckplease (and girls)
(and our new year’s squat resolution.)
1/29/2015 4:20:57@omgcheckplease i guess talking to H. about stuff like captaincy would be weird.
1/29/2015 5:08:38Banging on my door.
“Bittle. Team practice tomorrow afternoon.”
“…I took some cool pictures today”
1/29/2015 5:08:55@omgcheckplease I got the email from the coaches, I know.
1/29/2015 5:10:06@omgcheckplease Jack is either somber and concerned about us making playoffs? or in this…strange senior mood. That’s what I’m calling it.
1/29/2015 5:14:35Jack: there were some kids nordic skiing down elm street
Jack: neat eh
1/29/2015 5:16:58Jack: they didn’t even see me
Jack: I like that, you know? they didn’t even know I was there
1/29/2015 21:01:48@sarahindie !!!!!! I’m going to do this!! I’m SO going to do this!!
1/29/2015 21:16:07Editing my vlog. Faint in the bg audio:
“no pants then no bed shits i’m serious this time”
“i’m justa brah tryna tell his brah bout his day”
1/30/2015 17:05:16Um, of course I have great aim with a snowball–my father is a *football coach*
1/31/2015 5:06:53When you get one of those ??? texts from Johnson:
“Great game tonight! Good luck with your spring semester storyline. Update soon.”
1/31/2015 5:09:02@omgcheckplease “I just got my zine.”
??????????
1/31/2015 17:10:12Dex: [fixes broken chair]
Dex: [stops fridge door from squeaking]
Dex: [saves Betsy]
1/31/2015 17:44:11@hella_marcella !!
2/1/2015 0:42:52@nonmodernist If he ever needs tips I can help!!
2/1/2015 15:32:05I am genuinely sad that most of you will never taste my loaded nacho recipe. #SuperbowlSunday
2/1/2015 19:05:21Ransom’s doing homework in the kitchen because “Holtzy won’t stop singing this STUPID Wuthering Heights song”.
2/1/2015 19:09:16Ransom: i have no idea how Holster’s voice gets so high, like the pitch is OH WAIT BITS DO YOU NEED A DATE FOR VALENTINE’S DAY???????
2/1/2015 19:10:00@omgcheckplease Rans you can help me get a bigger booty but PLEASE DON’T SET ME UP AGAIN
2/1/2015 19:12:06@omgcheckplease Rans is opening Facebook. this is holster’s fault. this is Kate Bush’s fault. this is Emily Brontë’s fault
2/1/2015 19:17:06Justin Oluransi is friends on Facebook with every single student at Samwell.
2/1/2015 19:18:06@redoliphaunt No one would be believe me if I choked on a pie would they?
2/1/2015 19:20:01@Edo4869 taking the term social butterfly to an entirely new level
2/1/2015 19:22:52Shitty: what are you guys doing
Rans: finding Bitty a date
Jack: why is Bittle under the table
2/1/2015 19:27:55@omgcheckplease um please do not photograph me while i’m down here
2/1/2015 19:29:09@omgcheckplease “while you’re down there do you want to see some photos Bittle”
DEAR GOD!!!!!!!!
2/1/2015 22:44:33*secretly knows everything about football*
2/1/2015 22:46:56@65PinkRoses I’m actively resisting the urge to correct Holster & Shitty. I mean. I don’t want to know a lot about Tom Brady, I just do.
2/1/2015 22:49:36@65PinkRoses Yup!
2/2/2015 3:36:13@pet_princess oh my gosh
2/2/2015 14:35:47Ransom & Jack: [re-analyze every minute of the super bowl again over egg whites]
2/2/2015 14:38:58@omgcheckplease
Holster: but you know who really won? Katy Perry.
Jack: who?
Holster: ADFKSDFLAKSJFD
Rans: jack no
2/2/2015 14:40:07@PIXELBUKKAKES RIGHT????
2/2/2015 16:27:16I guess Jack meets the humility criteria for the Hobey Baker Award since he forgot to mention to anyone he was nominated for it.
2/3/2015 1:19:24@65PinkRoses French-Canadian…
2/3/2015 18:28:07Lardo: ugh
Lardo: bleeeeggh
Lardo: what if i painted a dozen bleeding cow hearts
Me: you do whatever you need to express yourself girl
2/3/2015 18:29:10@omgcheckplease when Lardo is stressed I am stressed
2/3/2015 18:43:52Lardo: Bits. Why do people have to graduate?
Me: I know. Oh my gosh I know.
2/3/2015 22:12:41I’m about to show this to Chowder:
http://t.co/TpaVaS6pTl
2/4/2015 1:55:32Coach: so, junior, you got something set up for Valentine’s Day?
Uh, if I did, you probably wouldn’t want to hear about it
2/4/2015 1:56:04@omgcheckplease I really appreciate him asking but….this is the first time he’s ever asked me something like that???
2/4/2015 5:14:43Me: [sneezes]
Jack: [across the hall] bless you
Jack: go to sleep
Jack: we have practice
2/4/2015 5:15:41@omgcheckplease so I might have paraphrased that exchange BUT STILL
2/4/2015 14:32:23@PierceTheViky tienes vida!!
2/4/2015 14:33:33Remember how I signed up for a class on food and then half my team signed up for it.
-_-
2/4/2015 14:34:36just another small detail regarding my life as a samwell hockey player
2/4/2015 14:41:36@ungilded it might be a problem
2/5/2015 11:17:57Holster: if one of us gets captain lets promise to negotiate for afternoon practice
Rans: is that the moon
2/5/2015 15:48:29I turn 20 this year… ._.
2/5/2015 17:28:44Shitty: Knock knock. Oh my gosh, who’s there??? My thesis!! Haha my thesis who? Haha MY THESIS IS A 5000-WORD COCKSTAIN.
2/5/2015 17:30:25What goes in a You Can Do This Thesis pie? Other than love?
2/5/2015 17:31:19@DreamerFayEllen in May!
2/5/2015 19:19:29Me: [sees jack across River quad]
Me: [waves]
Jack: [waves]
Jack: [walks across quad]
Jack: [jumps over snowbank]
Jack: do you want coffee
2/5/2015 19:54:09Jack: oh yeah Bittle I wanted to show–[pulls out camera and knocks into my coffee and spills entire contents on my samwell hoodie]
2/5/2015 19:57:36what is wrong with this boy
2/6/2015 16:38:49My pregame ritual involves getting pumped with my favorite playlist! Others like to get broody / eat pb&j sandwiches instead w/e.
2/6/2015 16:39:55Dear Lord. I’ve never seen someone look so joyless while preparing and consuming a popular children’s snack.
2/7/2015 3:39:31You’re supposed to be happy when you win… :/
2/8/2015 0:23:36@hella_marcella ….that’s a really good question. :/
2/11/2015 3:31:39Sometimes you just have to keep on smiling.
2/11/2015 3:32:37@omgcheckplease thank god we have a game on saturday
2/12/2015 2:14:15Baking.
2/13/2015 19:24:38Few things can improve my mood more quickly than listening to a conversation between Shitty and Chowder. :)
2/14/2015 2:58:31shutout (ﾉ╹ヮ╹)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
2/14/2015 3:00:42this child
2/15/2015 2:45:57Which one of you brought the “yo marry me Jack Zimmermann” sign to warmups?? Shitty wants that poster “so goddamn much”
2/15/2015 2:49:39@omgcheckplease I think he’s willing to pay for it! Please drop by the Samwell hockey Haus!
2/15/2015 2:55:48Dex: of course. of *course*.
Chowder: why is Dex of course-ing???
Nursey: because today?
Nursey: is my birthday.
Dex: …..of COURSE.
2/15/2015 2:56:00@omgcheckplease Nursey: -‿-
2/15/2015 3:06:27Shitty: brah. it’s valentine’s. you had a 2-pt game. the fuck are you doin tonight?
Jack: …going to sleep?
Shitty: ಠ_ಠ
2/15/2015 3:08:22“We played a lot of hockey tonight.”
- Jack Zimmermann, Feb 14th 2015
2/15/2015 3:09:52@omgcheckplease To be honest, I’m surprised he even remembered.
2/15/2015 3:13:01If Jack could give a Valentine’s Day card to the 24 years he’s spent playing hockey, I’m sure he would.
2/15/2015 4:40:19poster obtained ☑
2/15/2015 4:48:38DEAR LORD
2/15/2015 4:49:05*GROANS* >_&lt;
2/15/2015 4:50:49Shitty: Bits could you put that amazing piece of art up in my room?
Me: Of course!
(I’m so STUPID)
2/15/2015 5:00:19Me: where do I put th–
Jack: [pops into Shitty’s room brushing his teeth]
Me: [turns around with sign]
2/15/2015 5:04:09Jack: [frowns]
Jack: ….[keeps brushing teeth]
2/15/2015 5:09:38“…Good night, Bittle.”
2/15/2015 5:10:26@omgcheckplease I have never been more mortified.
2/15/2015 5:20:32@Modern_Dear well, i’m glad some good came of it
2/15/2015 23:02:57@zackwithaz Wellie the Dancing Well is the unofficial but most popular mascot.
2/16/2015 1:09:46@thermaldestruct >_&lt;;
2/16/2015 16:29:51Overheard at Samwell
girl 1: half the hockey team is in the class
girl 2: ugh they would
girl 1: they’re so loud
2/16/2015 16:34:29Overhead at Samewll
girl 2: so is jack zimmermann taking that
girl 1: yes. omg he’d be so hot if he weren’t so weird
me: [spits out coffee]
2/16/2015 16:35:28@omgcheckplease girl 1: i hear he’s like 30?
girl 2: oh my god that’s so sad
2/16/2015 17:12:56@omgcheckplease *overheard at Samwell
sorry, i’m wearing gloves and i needed to tweet about that ASAP
2/16/2015 17:13:48@music_will_rule THANK YOU!!!!!
2/16/2015 18:10:47@baalalalaa I didn’t…I just…left after one of them started talking about Ransom. Apparently she has a lot of feelings.
2/16/2015 18:12:55@slylilgoblin all of my professors have been great! And 80% of students too. But some like to believe the “dumb jock” stereotype.
2/16/2015 18:34:31@dumb_dragons @slylilgoblin Oh my goodness, NO! One B. Knight is more than enough!
2/17/2015 2:25:30Editing my vlog. Ransom is “supes offended” he hasn’t gotten to guest star.
2/17/2015 4:55:04good god why must I always start a pie at midnight
2/17/2015 5:18:53@NectariaP I basically told him this. Did not sway him.
2/17/2015 14:15:30Shitty got another bowl of cereal and ruffled everyone’s hair on the way back to his seat. #teambreakfast
2/17/2015 23:01:35@on_reserve especially jack’s
2/18/2015 2:03:15Things I talk to #MamaBittle about: baking, her book club, small town gossip
Things I talk to Coach about: sports, football, & athletics
2/18/2015 2:06:33If you walk in the kitchen while I’m skyping my mother she WILL want to talk to you. She’s telling Mr. Crappy to put on pants. No excuses.
2/18/2015 2:08:30Shitty: Mrs. Bittle, with all due respect, boxers are practically pants.
2/18/2015 2:14:27B. Knight is wearing pants. #MamaBittle #Amazing
2/18/2015 16:17:52“HOW? HOW can you be 'CLOSE TO DONE’???” shouts Shitty re: Jack’s Thesis. We’re at Norris library but of course that doesn’t matter.
2/18/2015 16:19:57Shitty: BRAH. Where do you find TIME?
Jack: …I do a little every night?
Shitty: That’s???? Not??? Real???
2/18/2015 16:20:11if it isn’t obvious, half of my tweets are done while cackling
2/18/2015 16:25:12“I don’t really procrastinate, I guess.”
- Jack Zimmermann
#ThingsIWillNeverSay
2/18/2015 16:27:40(I’m actively omitting all chirps directed at me)
2/18/2015 16:30:42@backtostars *wags a finger at you* i’m not that easy!
2/18/2015 18:18:12@chaoticneurotic “Boxers are better than nothing! c:” things I think to myself everyday re:shitty
2/19/2015 20:27:25Thank you, Prof. Atley for listening to me freak out about school / my teammates / my baking. That advising meeting got totally derailed.
2/19/2015 20:30:51She asked about Jack (who was secretly her favorite student (after me, obviously))
2/19/2015 20:31:32@sherrengton I’m getting used to it!
2/19/2015 22:21:23When you’re crossing the River and realize the guy taking pictures of a goose is the captain of the hockey team.
2/19/2015 22:22:51@baalalalaa “you know, hockey”
2/20/2015 1:55:11@vworpvworp …tire???
2/20/2015 1:56:25@unfoRETTAble @tseguinofficial !!
2/20/2015 2:58:54(•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑ Game tomorrow!
2/20/2015 16:21:20Sat behind the frogs on the bus. I have no idea why Dex and Nursey sit next to each other, but I’m chalking it up to roadie superstition.
2/20/2015 16:25:45@Edo4869 Oh, he’d never admit to it!
2/21/2015 13:44:41@chaoticneurotic Hah!
2/21/2015 14:53:34Good game yesterday! Highlights included when Ollie lobbed the puck right into the Samwell bench and it landed on Lardo’s clipboard.
2/21/2015 14:53:59#TooMuchSauce
#LardoWithTheAssist
2/21/2015 15:35:38@twsomething The refs got it ;~; I bet Lardo would’ve loved to put it in a sculpture or something!
2/21/2015 15:38:55*sigh* Nursey definitely just hit a kid in the face with his hockey bag #MostDangerousDman
2/21/2015 15:46:10Dear Lord, this child is like 8 and he just said, “nah, it’s cool. Good luck with your game, bro.” #MoreChillThanDerekNurse
2/21/2015 15:55:55Jack: Nice check, Nurse.
Team: [CACKLES]
2/21/2015 15:56:11@omgcheckplease #TheRareZimmermannOneLiner
2/21/2015 18:02:40- sit next to your d partner
- don’t touch pucks off the ice
- comb your mustache
- listen to bey
- moodily eat a pb&j sandwich alone
2/21/2015 21:41:09“oh yeah, fucking laugh it up, chuckles”
- Shitty to Princeton guy
2/21/2015 23:59:04@librariansti ?????!
2/23/2015 2:09:38@kaylaapricee A wise woman once said “haters going to hate hate hate etc.” U_U;
2/23/2015 15:03:44☑ make playoffs
2/24/2015 14:14:52Holster: “MEN’S HOCKEY: Wellies finish weekend w/ road sweep; clinch ECAC playoff spot”. you know sometimes the Daily isn’t a piece of crap.
2/24/2015 14:21:09Holster’s reading this whole article out loud. The guy doing his econ two tables over is desperately stuffing his headphones on. #TeamBfast
2/24/2015 14:26:47Holster: “'It was pretty nice to net one on Princeton,’ defenseman Justin Oluransi '16 said.”
Holster: Fuck you Rans–It was “PRETTY NICE”
2/24/2015 14:27:50Holster: “'We’re a close knit group of guys. We look out for each other on the ice,’ forward and team capt. Jack Zimmermann '15 said.”
2/24/2015 14:31:19@omgcheckplease
Holster: Guys, Jack loves us! SAY YOU LOVE US!
Jack: I love you.
#TeamBreakfast
2/24/2015 14:31:46@omgcheckplease he said it into his bowl of raisin bran so does that actually count
2/26/2015 4:12:04Spilled juice on S.B. :(
Too scared to take him down to the laundry room.
2/26/2015 4:45:19@65PinkRoses Thanks for the advice! Just like what #MamaBittle would say. :)
2/26/2015 4:46:02@BogleSarah @65PinkRoses Oh my goodness, that’d be too traumatizing. (for me, for him)
2/26/2015 4:46:43@thirstingdragon sneaky! Less likely to incur chirps from R&H…
2/26/2015 4:57:08@ro_mm_ck @maddiestern @thirstingdragon @BogleSarah @65PinkRoses well, y'all, wanted to let you know that even while being careful
2/26/2015 4:58:16@ro_mm_ck @maddiestern @thirstingdragon @BogleSarah @65PinkRoses people were still awake. ._. had to stuff him under my shirt in the bathrm
2/26/2015 5:00:53@65PinkRoses @ro_mm_ck @maddiestern @thirstingdragon @BogleSarah already back in my room–going to sleep since we’ve got AM practice! #whew
2/26/2015 16:19:25…that moment when half your team immediately stops whispering about something when you sit down for lunch. Hm.
2/26/2015 19:30:01Lardo’s art show is this weekend! Excited to mingle with the art majors! I hope they like hockey players.
2/26/2015 19:32:32I’ve taken up the responsibility of making sure the Samwell men’s hockey team is dressed *stupendously*. We WILL be on our best behavior.
2/26/2015 21:11:11@DrSaveYoLife Oh no, I hope not! I don’t think any of them can withstand that many cupcake recipes.
2/27/2015 1:28:08TMI, but do you ever stand sideways in front of your mirror and wonder when those squats are going to kick in.
2/27/2015 1:28:47@omgcheckplease Ransom, I feel like I’m failing you. You wanted so much for me.
2/27/2015 2:16:11@RaylenX Jack wouldn’t understand for so many reasons.
2/27/2015 4:19:52Jack has a critique tomorrow and wants feedback on photos. It is SO past his bedtime.
2/27/2015 4:20:38Oh gosh. I’m no Lardo.
2/27/2015 4:26:46Jack: I figured you’d be up baking a pie or three.
(???????? I’m making TWO.)
2/27/2015 4:27:07@omgcheckplease oh he’s joking
god….#🐥
2/27/2015 4:46:44Jack: this goose one isn’t dumb?
Me: no, it’s charming!
2/27/2015 4:47:11@omgcheckplease #ActualMidnightConversation
2/27/2015 4:58:55I did NOT ask for so many #🐥 this late at night
2/27/2015 5:11:25thank goodness for late night pie with friends
2/27/2015 5:14:28@omgcheckplease Jack: how many friends do you have on Twitter?
Me:….3000?
Jack: wow
Jack: that’s a lot of bakers
2/27/2015 5:15:19@likerlb should I show him the dress? maybe after he’s done with his slice
2/27/2015 5:22:57@65PinkRoses @likerlb okay….lets do this….
2/27/2015 5:27:11@65PinkRoses @likerlb
Jack: blue and black
Jack: why am I looking at this
2/27/2015 16:49:50Shitty is tearing up the Haus looking for sequins.
2/27/2015 16:51:35To contextualize: he’s on the phone w/ Lardo, who “might’ve MAYBE fucking left 'em here.” He’s so frantic you’d think it were his art show.
2/27/2015 16:57:44“Bits, please tell me you got your jock on you right now. Fuck, not like on you. Neve-I ASKED HIM LARDS OKAY FINE I’M GOING TO FABER.” ._.
2/27/2015 22:00:46(I realize my Twitter is 70% me quoting my teammates, but when you’ve got teammates like mine, you see. #GotYourBack)
2/27/2015 23:10:46Okay, y'all, real dilemma:
bow tie or no bow tie?
2/28/2015 1:06:09Current location: Koetter Art & Student Center, right on the Pond.
2/28/2015 1:29:26Those sharply dressed young men are in fact the Samwell men’s hockey team, ladies and gents.
2/28/2015 1:30:56If you’re a Wellie, come down to the junior show! You can hear Ransom and Holster wax poetic about these installation pieces.
2/28/2015 1:31:29@omgcheckplease which might actually be wax dripping from the ceiling….
2/28/2015 1:36:09@cayceonthego Bow tie! :)
2/28/2015 1:44:40there’s an installation piece under the stairs that’s a room of thick, pink, fuzzy carpeting? but you have to crawl through hands to get in-
2/28/2015 1:46:11@omgcheckplease and i’m not messing up my hair. it took me ten minutes to vanquish this one cowlick i’ve got at the back of my head—ugh
2/28/2015 1:47:46Well, Jack’s going for it. This boy.
2/28/2015 1:48:32okay I’m going to look at these screen prints while he’s down there
2/28/2015 1:50:51“There’s a TV in there.”
- Jack Zimmemrann on Kendra R.’s Installation Piece “Pink”
2/28/2015 1:52:40Lardo!!!!!!!!!!
2/28/2015 2:17:42!!!!!!!!!!!
2/28/2015 2:18:27SHITTY GOT INTO LAW SCHOOL
2/28/2015 2:18:36oh my god!!!
2/28/2015 2:35:30@omgcheckplease I think someone thought it was a performance piece.
2/28/2015 6:20:52late night froyo
2/28/2015 6:21:58@omgcheckplease with Lardo. game tomorrow. we’re gonna regret it in the morning, but I honestly couldn’t care <3
2/28/2015 6:40:03Apologies to all Samwell junior art majors for tackling our teammate to the ground in the middle of your show.
2/28/2015 15:11:25Dex just asked Jack if Kent Parson is coming to his and Shitty’s graduation.
I’m gonna keep flipping these eggs.
2/28/2015 15:15:42@omgcheckplease Jack: haha well…it depends on if the aces make the playoffs
Dex: that’s kinda like a win win, right? for you?
Jack: yeah
3/1/2015 5:48:34Thank you for being a friend ♫♪
3/1/2015 5:51:13@omgcheckplease
And if you threw a party/
Invited everyone you knew/
You would see, the biggest gift would be from me
3/1/2015 15:40:55Rans and Holster are refusing to look at any pictures of popular Internet memes to preserve their friendship.
3/1/2015 15:42:35@mimssio But I’m sure I’d like you!! As long as you’re not on the Princeton hockey team….&lt;_&lt;
3/1/2015 20:03:58@autoeuphoric We would definitively lose the ECAC playoffs.
3/3/2015 15:18:08I thought this food class would be more raucous, but I also forgot that most of my teammates are relatively good students.
3/3/2015 15:22:30Well, there is the at-this-point-fairly-incriminating men’s ice hockey team group chat. (And y'all, it revs up every lecture.)
3/3/2015 15:26:10Gosh, I’ve felt awful all semester! These poor people in front of us have to tune out our 21st-century note passing.
3/3/2015 15:32:22@omgcheckplease
=SMH Group Text=
Me: Do y'all think we should text less?
Me: It could be distracting people in lecture….
3/3/2015 15:33:22@omgcheckplease
=SMH Group Text=
Holster: Bitty
Holster: what’s distracting
Holster: is this kid who needs a shower in the seat behind me
3/3/2015 15:41:23@omgcheckplease =SMH Group Text=
Nursey: whats distracting
Nursey: is watching someone google “jack zimmermann samwell?”
Jack: ok we’re done
¾/2015 4:13:34.@baalalalaa Great question!! It varies from day to day but it’s usually:
Me - Holster - Nursey - Lardo - Shitty - Jack
¾/2015 4:14:15@baalalalaa I hope that’s not weird information to divulge.
¾/2015 4:16:53Y'all, real talk. I’m getting so worked up about the playoffs…To use the lingo of our generation #bigstakes #seniors #lastchance #ugh
¾/2015 4:17:58My teammates deserve everything. Every last one of us works so hard.
¾/2015 4:20:29@cayceonthego thanks! U‿U!!!
¾/2015 4:26:53For them, I couldn’t bake a pie big enough. (Which sounds sweet, but seriously they’re all bottomless pits.)
¾/2015 4:28:28@omgcheckplease Growing boys? Or TERRIFYING BLACK HOLES.
¾/2015 4:30:01@dumb_dragons he needs to stop, I completely agree.
¾/2015 4:32:57@hannza oh, I’m guilty of it too! I just wish my food was savored instead of inhaled. ಠ_ಠ
¾/2015 13:59:32Dex and Nursey will read the same Daily op-eds at breakfast so they can offer each other “differing points of view.”
¾/2015 14:02:10Sometimes Shitty’ll jump in, like this AM. It’s rather erudite. In great contrast to our utterly profane roadie conversations. #teambfast
¾/2015 14:05:17@omgcheckplease Our trip to Cornell–How a conversation about an apple turned so foul, I’ll never truly know.
3/5/2015 4:30:18@jordiekinsreal I’m gonna go with zero! Thanks for asking though.
3/6/2015 4:35:39@Mokuren_no_Ken I blame J. Zimmermann and J. Oluransi for my occasional use of “eh”.
3/6/2015 11:54:30When the Friday morning shootout leads to impromptu singing in the locker room.
Gonna be a good day.
3/6/2015 14:12:25If we can’t get Nicki Minaj for Spring C, where is my Samwell tuition even going to?
3/7/2015 16:45:43@MMelby124 Some protein! Eggs & bacon are my go to–and please get those cooked up while you’re nursing a few glasses of water!
3/7/2015 18:18:09….playoff beards.
3/7/2015 18:20:35If you’re about to ask me if I’m growing one, the answer is how much hair do you really think this face can generate? Come on, now.
3/7/2015 18:23:15@KimoyaFTW you’re very kind
3/7/2015 18:24:10How about–#playoffbaking
3/7/2015 18:26:56I’m just down in the kitchen with Rans and Jack and in comes–
Shitty: JACQUES Laurent Fucking Look At That Beautiful Stubble ZIMMERMANN.
3/7/2015 18:29:45Shitty is rubbing Jack’s stubble and Rans is messing up Shitty’s hair and I’m just trying to have a peaceful afternoon in my kitchen.
3/7/2015 18:34:44@ungilded now you see that’s truly an investment
3/7/2015 18:38:47Shitty moved on to messing with Rans which, of course, immediately summoned Holster. Their d-man connection is still v. strange to me.
3/7/2015 18:42:22Jack: Shits, leave everyone alone and turn in your theses drafts
Shitty: hey who here already got into law school
Shitty: oh what wow no one
3/7/2015 18:43:49@ungilded LISTEN. I love my team. But there are many kinds of love and many kinds of sacrifices.
3/8/2015 16:16:07Cooking with mah bro Larissa D.
ᕦ(￣へ￣)ᕤ #CuteBros
3/8/2015 16:17:34Me: laaaaaaar–
Lardo: biiiiiiiiiii–
Me: doooooooooo
Lardo: iiiiitssssss
3/8/2015 17:49:12Jack:..i probably can’t do much photography when i’m playing professionally
Me: offseason, jack
Lardo: plz be that one artsy hipster NHL bro
3/10/2015 1:48:29“PUT YOUR THESIS IN THE AIR LIKE YOU JUST DON’T CARE.”
- B. Knight, after throwing 50+ pages of academic writing up like confetti
3/10/2015 15:03:43Holster: [puts a hand on Lardo’s]
Holster: will you sit on my shoulders at Spring C
Lardo: ;-; bro, i’d be like honored
Holster: ;-;
3/10/2015 15:04:21@omgcheckplease Holster and Lardo are two very differently sized people.
3/11/2015 2:02:41Chowder & Dex are watching the Aces game on Dex’s laptop. “They played the Sharks last week and I almost didn’t know who to root for!!”
…
3/11/2015 2:15:48Mister Kent Parson with another one for the highlight reel.
3/11/2015 5:24:51…shitty woke me up to let me know he finished his thesis drafts =_=
3/11/2015 15:02:37At Annie’s with Dex and Shitty. They’re having another one of their pleasant and pleasantly informed conversations. I feel smart.
3/11/2015 15:06:00Shitty: Worried about the quarterfinals?
Dex: …How’d you know?
Shitty: Fourth time 'round. Easy to recognize the face.
3/12/2015 19:37:17Trying to focus…
3/14/2015 2:27:14Good tourney so far. Gotta keep it up! #SamwellMensHockey #GotYourBack
3/14/2015 2:28:14(And whose idea was it to schedule a playoff tournament during Pi Day?)
3/14/2015 13:47:55As my dear father would say, “#Giterdone.”
3/14/2015 13:53:40@moonklutz no!! We use that phrase pretty often in the south. (Our high school football team had it on the back some of their t-shirts.)
3/14/2015 16:18:16@ThetaState Amazing!
3/16/2015 23:29:28I haven’t been tweeting much bc of playoffs but Rans & Holtzy just asked me to “make a leprechaun shaped pie.” “So we can like eat it.”
3/17/2015 0:23:15Nursey: are you Irish
Dex: ….[squints at him suspiciously]
3/18/2015 12:53:40That moment when a massive football player corners you in the dining hall to tell you good luck on the playoffs “you guys are champs”
3/18/2015 12:55:45file under: things 7th grade Eric Bittle would not expect to happen
3/19/2015 3:38:12Is a pregame playlist still a pregame playlist if it’s just 7/11 ad infinitum. #playoffs
3/19/2015 3:40:12@omgcheckplease ( Flexin’ while my hands up ᕦ(ò_ó)ᕤ )
3/19/2015 21:41:55I fit in a hockey bag.
3/19/2015 21:43:42@omgcheckplease Holster: now. can we scare Jack.
Rans: we’re going to get kicked out of this hotel
Holster: oh my god responsible now are we
3/19/2015 21:47:35@omgcheckplease Holster: ALL RIGHT. All in favor of scaring jack raise your hand
Holster: Bitty is your hand up? Wiggle twice for yes.
3/19/2015 21:49:43@jdcushman IT’S NOT FUN
3/19/2015 21:59:30@omgcheckplease Okay! I’m free. That was both anticlimactic and smelly.
3/19/2015 22:00:54@omgcheckplease Jack’s reaction: “Nice try, Bittle. You realize if we win tomorrow, we’ll have to do this before every game, right?” Wait.
3/19/2015 22:04:26@jdcushman @holycowitsjenn …how far have you gone for a prank?
3/19/2015 23:22:24@VictoriaPyrrhi i….*what*???
3/20/2015 2:11:54@gizellejayne Nuh-uh. It’s never too late; get yours.
3/22/2015 1:52:46It’s always #OneMoreGame.
3/24/2015 13:56:22Rans’s b-day is on Sat. Holster keeps staring at him and whispering “what do you get for the man who has everything…?”
3/24/2015 13:59:22Rans: Bro, get a goal for me.
Holtzy: …Bro.
Rans; Bro, I’ll get the assist.
Holtzy: BRO!!
3/24/2015 17:21:23@GQFashion …wow
3/26/2015 16:29:51“It won’t be our last roadie.” :)
3/27/2015 13:53:29（◡﹏◡）
3/27/2015 13:55:28deep breaths. maybe I should eat a pb&j….
3/27/2015 23:13:41(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ LET’S GO BOYS!
3/27/2015 23:17:16(oh, and holster *did* get a goal (and ransom got the assist))
3/28/2015 17:06:23🎉 Happy 22nd, Rans!
3/28/2015 17:16:23Jack: did Holster really say he’d get you a goal for your birthday ?
Ransom: yup
Jack: …can he get you two birthday presents?
3/28/2015 17:17:47@dumb_dragons we have a game tonight!!! :( :( :(
3/28/2015 17:21:00Jack seriously just asked me if anyone had put me in a hockey bag yet.
3/28/2015 17:23:15@omgcheckplease
Dex: on a scale from 1 to 10, how much are we gonna win
Jack: 20
3/28/2015 18:23:13@likerlb well, I don’t know about you.
3/29/2015 2:55:21win + bday = 🙏 for ransom
3/29/2015 2:56:28we’re moving on :)
3/29/2015 3:48:33“Looks like we’re sticking to the bag thing, eh?” Ugh, captain, please. #GotYourBag
3/29/2015 3:50:58It should be our policy to trim playoff beards. Our success should be well-groomed.
3/29/2015 3:51:22@SluggySparkle Thank you!
3/29/2015 4:05:50@StephWeasley he laughed at my accent
3/29/2015 21:45:38@merelyaladdin ｡U ‿ U ｡
3/30/2015 12:29:54When you and your team walk into the dining hall and other teams start cheering. #SamwellAthletics
3/30/2015 18:25:59Jack and I are the only people from the team who bothered showing up to science-credit food class. As our PROFESSOR pointed out.
3/30/2015 18:32:31Prof: [in our 100-person lecture] Hey! Where’s the rest of you guys?
Jack: [from back of lecture hall] double OT takes a lot out of you.
3/30/2015 18:35:22#OverheardatSamwell
Guy behind me: jesus why is everyone always talking about the fucking hockey team
3/30/2015 20:48:06Jack: You told me you were coming to cla–
Shitty: SH SH SH…what’s that sound?
Shitty: …………it’s me. being a spring semester senior
3/30/2015 20:48:59@omgcheckplease Ransom: Jack’s, like, really into learning.
Jack: you have a 4.0
Ransom: I know but like whatever
3/31/2015 19:46:21Playoff traditions are important, but I’m in dire need of a haircut. I was just included in a head count for a prep school touring campus.
3/31/2015 19:47:39@omgcheckplease To be fair, I shouldn’t have worn a blue polo and khakis today.
3/31/2015 19:53:51I look like a college sophomore, don’t I?…Dear God, please interpret that question as rhetorical.
4/4/2015 18:29:01Watching Rans and Holster meticulously plan out an Easter keg hunt. Any time they bring out Excel sheets, I worry.
4/4/2015 18:30:27@65PinkRoses Of course not!
4/4/2015 18:34:20@65PinkRoses Well. Ransom and Holster are excellent at planning. No matter how chaotic the results may be….
4/5/2015 16:58:14Happy Easter! U‿U #sweettea #easterham #cornbread #cornonthecob #watergatesalad
4/5/2015 17:01:05Jack Zimmermann has never had sweet tea. (Real sweet tea.)
4/5/2015 17:16:30@thekimmiem It’s a struggle.
4/6/2015 4:32:19Out in the reading room.
4/6/2015 4:35:08@omgcheckplease talking to jack about his last games at samwell
4/6/2015 4:38:59I’m almost done with my second season of hockey at Samwell…
4/6/2015 4:41:40#GotYourBack
4/10/2015 3:55:00#OneMoreGame
4/13/2015 1:10:28home.
4/15/2015 13:18:02Breakfast with the boys. :)
4/15/2015 13:19:04@twsomething !!!!!!!
4/16/2015 2:40:55Playoffs and pies!
4/16/2015 16:02:52Team dinner at the university president’s house tomorrow! #SamwellCollege
4/16/2015 16:04:41@omgcheckplease
Me: I haven’t picked out a bowtie yet. :( :( :(
Ransom: 🐥
Holster: 🐥
Shitty: 🐥
Jack: 🐥🐥🐥
4/17/2015 0:56:43They haven’t signed anything official, but I think Holster has roped Jack into watching all of Game of Thrones with him.
4/17/2015 10:01:06That moment when you wake up for AM practice even though your season is over #afternoonpractice #jockproblems #moretimetobake
4/17/2015 10:15:27…That moment when your captain definitely just woke up for an AM run even though your season is over…. #typicalsenior
4/17/2015 12:59:01Annie’s. Jack only stopped to take pictures of the River twice.
4/17/2015 13:03:50@omgcheckplease Also, wrought iron. “Samwell’s got so much cool ironwork, you know? Look at that railing.” Okay, Jack. (It *is* beautiful.)
4/17/2015 13:05:48@omgcheckplease Speaking of iron–“Watching anything with Holster is like watching it with the director’s commentary on.” HAH. Oh my god.
4/17/2015 22:10:58Thank the Lord for Ransom & Holster who take all bowtie crises seriously. (After brief chirping.) (Unlike some other people I could name.)
4/17/2015 22:28:21We always clean up so well! :)
4/17/2015 22:31:35Y'all, I have to document Jack & Shitty’s chirps/conversations for posterity.
4/18/2015 13:18:42…My oven. ;o;
4/18/2015 13:21:11do you ever call your mama first thing in the morning because the ancient oven in your sport team’s Haus is on the fritz lol
4/18/2015 13:27:35I’m on the ground with my forehead against this oven’s door
4/18/2015 13:30:55Jack: …did something happen
Me: betsy’s not well
Jack: oh.
Jack: is that…
Jack: …
Jack: an aunt
4/18/2015 13:31:59@omgcheckplease i can’t deal with people pronouncing aunt wrong right now
4/18/2015 13:32:08@omgcheckplease goodbye i’m going to Norris
4/18/2015 13:33:40@SluggySparkle I’m drafting a very detailed text message.
4/18/2015 15:22:55Waiting outside of Dex’s class to tell him everything again but in person for the third time.
4/18/2015 15:23:20@omgcheckplease I’d like to think that someone in this engineering building is working on the next indestructible oven. #godspeed
4/18/2015 15:27:26@omgcheckplease oh, it’s an exam review. i can tell because it’s sat., it’s being led by a grad student, and everyone looks worried.
4/18/2015 16:52:01Dex: have you ever considered baking less?
Me: I don’t understand your question?
4/19/2015 3:56:35pies baked today: 0
4/19/2015 3:59:08Sometimes the things you love in your life just go away. You just have to take a deep breath and keep going.
4/19/2015 4:02:53I’m being 100% melodramatic but it’s a Saturday night at Samwell. (Ransom’s friend’s (?) teammate’s birthday party.)
4/19/2015 4:06:04Well, congrats to Jack Zimmermann for signing. It’s official…
4/19/2015 13:05:29Another Samwell morning. Jack and Shitty are across the hall talking about Dibs…
4/19/2015 18:40:59I got one batch of cookies done, but B. shut off halfway through the second. *sigh*
4/19/2015 18:45:03Well, you know? At least the weather’s nice! And Spring C is around the corner. 🎵🎶
4/19/2015 18:52:14@Pinktrashtime oh my gosh no!!!! i’ll figure something out! thank you!
4/19/2015 21:51:33@mrsklemzak he thinks it’s overuse? and he just thinks we need a new one….
4/19/2015 21:58:13Trying to pay for my own froyo at Superberry but this boy: “It’s on me, Bittle. I think I’m good for it.”
4/19/2015 21:59:20@omgcheckplease my mother has sent me at least 5 articles about jack signing
4/19/2015 22:48:32I’ve been talking about that oven for 20 minutes straight and haven’t gotten a single chirp. #amazing #unbelievable
4/19/2015 22:49:49nevermind all i had to do was take out my phone; goodbye
4/20/2015 14:25:24Shitty doesn’t usually get angry or wear a shirt and he’s sitting in the kitchen doing both; I’m concerned.
4/20/2015 14:26:28Ooooh Shitty’s grandparents are coming to graduation. “The shitty ones. No pun in-fucking-tended.”
4/20/2015 14:27:12But does that mean…
4/20/2015 14:29:02I’ve noticed that my oven works better at certain times of the day. I’m going to start on a pie and pray for both it and B. Knight.
4/20/2015 16:05:36Do you ever just sit in your adviser’s office for an hour and talk about food and baking and professional sports?
4/21/2015 12:51:26I don’t miss AM practice, but I do miss a breakfast table full of my teammates at Commons.
4/21/2015 12:54:07…Breakfast with Lardo and Jack is so quiet!! They don’t even chirp each other with words; it’s with glances.
4/21/2015 20:48:44Johnson’s thinking of coming up for graduation! Or coming down…I don’t actually know where he is?
4/21/2015 20:49:44@Team_PDD @tofuidol @bootybureau I need to alert my friend Justin!
4/21/2015 22:30:15Oh Lord. Some youthful freshman wanted Jack to sign his Samwell Jersey. At dinner. In front of the boys. So of course, chaos.
4/21/2015 22:31:42True friends don’t care that you’re a professional hockey player; true friends ask you to sign their mashed potatoes during dinner.
4/21/2015 22:32:39@omgcheckplease Holster: jack
Holster: jack, pls
4/21/2015 22:33:54@adisusedshed yup! :) jack’s great with fans
4/21/2015 22:36:14@sherrengton There has been talk!
4/22/2015 1:18:36At Founders with Jack!
4/23/2015 0:51:49“Whose shoulders are you going to sit on at Spring C, Bittle?”
NO ONE’S!!
4/23/2015 0:52:22@omgcheckplease I’m average height!!!
4/23/2015 15:45:51“Hey!! Betsy’s been a bit better lately! Maybe she just had an oven cold?” ;-; The Sweet Chowder.
4/23/2015 19:22:48Shopping with Lardo for Spring C
Me: Should I get these shorts?
Lardo: Yes.
Me: They’re really short.
Lardo: Yes.
4/23/2015 19:23:50@omgcheckplease “Bits. if you remember what you wore during spring c, you didn’t have a good spring c.” - Larissa Duan
4/24/2015 13:38:49That moment when you answer the door and it’s Alicia Zimmermann. #casual
4/24/2015 15:10:09@omgcheckplease “i’ll take pictures of all the kitchens we look at” …don’t
4/25/2015 11:36:56“I love the smell of darty in the morning.” -B. Knight
4/25/2015 11:39:51Shitty just handed me a mimosa. I’m still in bed. He’s outside my window.
4/25/2015 13:40:21Really going to town on team breakfast. Food is of utmost importance today. (Gotta feed those frogs.)
4/25/2015 14:40:30Lax bros from across the street just came by and asked to borrow some funnels. Rans&Holster complied. The lion lays with the lamb. #SpringC
4/25/2015 15:25:21You can hear sound check from across the River.
4/25/2015 19:35:16“Your booty’s better, bro.” RANS!!!!!! #MYBRO!!
4/25/2015 19:40:23I haven’t seen too much progress, but maybe I didn’t notice? Thanks for doing squats with me at 1am, bro, this is why we’re hockey players
4/25/2015 19:45:34WHO’S ON NURSEY PATROL?
4/25/2015 20:56:49I need to selfie.
4/25/2015 21:01:18Everyone: why is Jack doing homework on a Friday
4/25/2015 21:01:40“it’s pictures; it’s fun” - Jack
4/25/2015 21:02:20@omgcheckplease “okay okay i get it 'ha ha’” - jack
4/25/2015 21:02:50@omgcheckplease “lots of chirps from you eh bittle” - jack
4/25/2015 21:03:15@omgcheckplease “are you tweeting”
4/25/2015 21:09:28eh
4/25/2015 21:11:52@omgcheckplease SATURDAY!!
4/25/2015 23:42:13Bittle and Shitty http://t.co/sGyiVbdVTN
4/26/2015 0:06:45my legs aren’t gonna survive this weather
4/26/2015 0:40:52I LOVE SAMWELL
4/26/2015 1:13:51I may or may not have lost a shoe.
4/26/2015 1:14:37…Lord, it’s me. I’m the Spring C mess.
4/26/2015 1:42:47Thank goodness. #GotYourPiggyback
4/26/2015 11:35:13I’m mortified.
4/26/2015 11:40:23I should probably delete all of those… But I guess then it wouldn’t be a lesson learned.
4/26/2015 14:05:36@SluggySparkle thanks!
4/28/2015 13:03:28@ohbatsyy They’re about the same age!!
4/28/2015 13:04:51@darthrami @adisusedshed Many of us are staying! I’m heading home for the first half of summer though.
4/28/2015 13:05:24@darthrami @adisusedshed Hmmmm. I think those seniors have worked out housing…
4/28/2015 13:08:35Reading week. No classes are scheduled a week before finals to give students time to study. And bake.
4/28/2015 13:13:09@echarliev “Swotvac”! Okay, that’s new. I’ve already learned something during my swotvac then!
4/28/2015 15:46:53A kitchen is a wonderful place to study. (︶▽︶)
4/28/2015 15:48:05@darthrami @adisusedshed ….right after graduation.
4/28/2015 15:49:35@omgcheckplease (and chirp. and fuss over photos for your last critique.)
4/29/2015 2:54:20“You’re NOT graduating until you can name at least three Lannisters.” #JustHolsterThings
4/29/2015 2:57:37@omgcheckplease He learned all about Destiny’s Child today; cut 'em some slack.
4/29/2015 2:59:56@omgcheckplease Now Holster is asking Shitty how he let this lack of pop culture knowledge go on for so long. Shitty: am I my bro’s keeper?
4/29/2015 19:11:57Daily Reporter: wow, how many times do you think you’ve been interviewed
Jack: uh, after most games….for 4 years
Jack: like 100?
4/29/2015 19:14:35@omgcheckplease Shitty: I never get fucking interviewed
Daily Reporter: because you swear in all your quotes
Shitty: yeah well fuck
4/29/2015 19:15:14@omgcheckplease God bless this beat reporter. Is he graduating too?
4/30/2015 1:12:31Tadpoles >> Frogs
Frogs >> ???
4/30/2015 1:12:50@omgcheckplease
Tadpoles >> Frogs
Frogs >> Still Frogs
4/30/2015 1:14:21@omgcheckplease (Y'all, they’re my frogs until *I* graduate.) The new crop seems like they wouldn’t mind being called tadpoles?
4/30/2015 1:15:05Dear God. I’m going to be a junior.
5/1/2015 2:44:17Something’s fishy…
5/1/2015 2:47:18Either I’m making things up or Nursey’s good liar.
5/1/2015 2:49:30@omgcheckplease I swear they’re all in a group chat without me…Or maybe my phone was on silent? Hmmm
5/1/2015 2:52:04@alyssastweeting I’m used to knowing exactly what’s going on in the Haus? But I smell collusion…I wish I could tell you more!
5/1/2015 22:10:28Me: do y'all wanna head by the petting zoo on River Qua–
All of Samwell Men’s ice hockey team: THERE’S A PETTING ZOO ON RIVER QUAD?!?!?
5/1/2015 22:12:01I didn’t know how to capture their excitement in a tweet, but there was a lot of shouting. (Shitty: BRAH MOTHERFUCKING BABY GOATS)
5/1/2015 22:14:05Now I’m sitting here with a lil’ bunny. I’ve only considered stealing her twice.
5/1/2015 22:17:01@omgcheckplease It’s for finals? Baby animals relieve stress? I honestly don’t care, I’m in love.（╹ェ╹）
5/1/2015 22:19:51Petting Zoo Lady: Do you want one?
Jack: oh I–
Petting Zoo Lady: here–🐤
Jack:….🐤
🐤:…🐥
5/1/2015 22:20:30@omgcheckplease Adorable.
5/1/2015 22:23:33Nursey: wanna race piglets?
Dex: not really no
5/1/2015 22:36:23“My kitten and your kitten are bros.” - Justin Oluransi, Student Athlete
5/4/2015 10:53:09One more day…
5/4/2015 20:05:09Holster and Ransom both just texted me to see if I had lunch plans tomorrow. Separately.
5/4/2015 20:06:52@omgcheckplease 9_9 subtle, boys
5/4/2015 20:07:39@omgcheckplease Well, I guess they’ll need time to put streamers up.
5/4/2015 20:10:01@omgcheckplease …Oh Lord, what if they try to bake a cake with my oven. The straw that broke the camel’s back.
5/4/2015 20:19:56#ERROR!
5/4/2015 20:20:57@omgcheckplease Glad we’re on the same page!
5/5/2015 3:47:40Things I Should Be Doing: studying for a final tomorrow
Things I Should Not Be Doing: thinking about tres leches
5/5/2015 3:48:30@redvelveted I KNOW!!!!!
5/5/2015 4:14:23@StephWeasley why would anyone…???
5/5/2015 12:43:06Woke up to birthday wishes from #MamaBittle. Lovely AM phone call. What more could a boy ask for? (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
5/5/2015 12:45:12@omgcheckplease 1. more time to study for finals. If I studied as much as I baked I’d have a 4.0.
5/5/2015 12:52:08Lardo was at my door with a party horn! “Put on pants and get breakfast with me, grandpa.”
5/5/2015 12:53:52Lardo: You’re so OOOOLD!
Me: I’m ancienntttt!!!
5/5/2015 14:10:46HM. So I guess I won’t be heading back to the Haus anytime soon.
5/5/2015 14:16:46Lardo won’t let me go back to get my notes for my final. “How do they look like? Jack can bring them.” (ALL OF THEM ARE IN ON THIS!!!)
5/5/2015 14:20:46WHAT IF THEY’RE THROWING AWAY THAT FILTHY COUCH!!!!!! #GOTYOURBACK #SAMWELLMENSHOCKEY #TRUEBROS #MYONLYWISH
5/5/2015 14:28:08@omgcheckplease UGH. I’ve been going on about that couch EVERY DAY SINCE I MOVED IN.
5/5/2015 14:40:41Me: I know y'all are up to something.
Jack: What?
Me: For my birthday!
Jack: …today’s your birthday?
:(
5/5/2015 18:02:03Well, that final went exactly as planned.
5/5/2015 18:05:38Seriously??? Ransom and Holster are waiting outside. I think I’m being escorted.
5/5/2015 18:07:01@erikalinnane lol bless
5/5/2015 18:10:39Me: I’m not gonna head back to the Haus.
Holster: What? We’re here to grab lunch with you!
Me: Let’s have lunch at the Haus
Rans: Nice try.
5/5/2015 19:26:03Lord, how long does it take to move in a couch?
5/5/2015 19:27:19…Maybe they’re burning the old one.
5/5/2015 19:29:17@omgcheckplease But they’d invite me! Hm. :/
5/5/2015 19:35:51At Kotter. Now I’m being handed off to Nursey and Chowder. Chowder, my dear son, who I thought could hide nothing from me.
5/5/2015 20:50:56Farmer: Hey! Happy birthday, Bitty!
Farmer: I can’t tell you anything.
>:/
5/5/2015 20:54:16Does EVERYONE at Samwell know
5/5/2015 22:01:31I’m being told that I’m allowed to tweet one more thing.
5/5/2015 22:05:25Testing. Testing.
5/5/2015 22:05:48@omgcheckplease cool
5/5/2015 22:07:52Hey, everyone! I’m Derek, number 28 for Samwell men’s hockey team. I was given instructions to tweet for your favorite vlogger Eric Bittle.
5/5/2015 22:08:09It’s his birthday!
5/5/2015 22:08:48Bitty says 'don’t you wreck my reputation.’
5/5/2015 22:09:45We’re heading to the haus! Bittle says 'I knew y'all were up to something.’
5/5/2015 22:10:00He totally didn’t.
5/5/2015 22:10:37@music_will_rule Haha, I’m not trying to.
5/5/2015 22:11:17@agentxromanova We’re pretty smart.
5/5/2015 22:11:33@redvelveted Nah
5/5/2015 22:11:46@birdyprincette thanks
5/5/2015 22:12:08@SamwellBabes i’m bitty’s teammate
5/5/2015 22:12:25@alyssastweeting didn’t sneeze :)
5/5/2015 22:13:11@StephWeasley blame chow
5/5/2015 22:14:41@smolkozume we’ll see
5/5/2015 22:15:56@gr9gatsby months
5/5/2015 22:16:29@SamwellBabes haha no problem
5/5/2015 22:16:54@alyssastweeting will keep you up to date
5/5/2015 22:17:09@gr9gatsby thank you!
5/5/2015 22:17:29@windandstardust he says “aw thank you so much”
5/5/2015 22:21:31@MirandaGGrace Chill.
5/5/2015 22:21:57@merelyaladdin maybe
5/5/2015 22:23:08About a minute away from the Haus!
5/5/2015 22:23:45Unsuspecting B. http://t.co/oPeHVSQGnm
5/5/2015 22:24:55In!
5/5/2015 22:25:22Bitty says “K, y'all The whole team’s here and I haven’t baked anything. It’s a surprise party. I get it.”
5/5/2015 22:25:50Bitty says “Aren’t y'all gonna yell surprise?”
5/5/2015 22:26:14Hah. Yes!
5/5/2015 23:14:27He saw it. http://t.co/7Vi7JekCSO
5/5/2015 23:14:50(Sorry things got kegstery really fast.)
5/5/2015 23:16:05Also Bitty probably wouldn’t want photos of him crying posted all over the internet.
5/5/2015 23:16:52“I can’t believe y'all–How’d y'all–when did y'all–what y'all do with–”
5/5/2015 23:17:26Bitty is still crying.
5/5/2015 23:20:27“I need to bake something right this second!”
5/5/2015 23:20:50@omgcheckplease stop crying first – jack
5/5/2015 23:22:45He wants his phone back. It was fun! If you’re a Wellie, come over for the festivitiesssss. (My name’s Derek.)
5/8/2015 1:30:28Waiting for a pie to bake, found this on my phone. I’ll spare y'all the HOT messes that were my selfies #TBT #SpringC http://t.co/2Ng3EgOky3
5/8/2015 1:31:19@omgcheckplease I was #TheWorstChaperone. U_U’
5/8/2015 1:31:38@omgcheckplease Not that anyone in particular needed one.
5/8/2015 1:34:08Newsflash: I’ve been baking a lot. :)
5/8/2015 1:38:47Here’s one, Jack’s chirp of the day: “If we move the kitchen table out, you can bring your bed in” #Hilarious #VeryFunnyMrZimmermann #HarHar
5/8/2015 1:40:34@MMelby124 Haha, no. I have no idea who that is….a lot happened that night. @_@
5/8/2015 17:45:26Well, Jack and Shitty just picked up their graduation robes.
5/8/2015 17:46:20@omgcheckplease It went like this-
Me: Oh! Did y'all go get something from the post office?
Me: …Oh.
5/8/2015 17:49:19@omgcheckplease Shitty has so many cords it’s kind of absurd. Also #StolesOnStoles
5/8/2015 17:53:39@Pinktrashtime Apparently he’s received quite a few honors!
5/8/2015 18:05:29And Rans and Holster are arguing about driving down to Myrtle Beach. This school year is truly over.
5/8/2015 18:06:07@omgcheckplease (it’s basically “it’s hella far” versus “it’s hella parties”)
5/14/2015 0:28:59Oh my goodness. I’m working on something big, y'all. This could redefine social media as we know it.
5/14/2015 0:31:58Just for hypothetical survey purposes, would anyone want to ask my friend Jack some questions?
5/14/2015 0:32:17@omgcheckplease He’s not convinced anyone would.
5/14/2015 0:33:00@omgcheckplease Or he might be trying to weasel out of this tbh.
5/14/2015 0:34:57@Pinktrashtime that got a chuckle
5/14/2015 0:36:03@ThetaState (“Oh boy” was all I got out of him haha!)
5/14/2015 0:37:40Okay, he’s still uncertain.
5/14/2015 0:38:10@omgcheckplease Okay, he might have to talk to someone first, but it is my DUTY to make this happen.
5/14/2015 0:39:12@omgcheckplease I hope it wouldn’t be an issue. This is all very casual and I don’t have…*that* many followers.
5/14/2015 0:42:42Right, I don’t have much to do aside from baking and moving boxes, so this is a top priority. Will update.
5/14/2015 0:46:04@sherrengton I’m staying for graduation and then heading home for part of the summer! I’ll be back!
5/16/2015 22:56:21Well, nice to know I still babble like a child when I meet hockey legends.
5/16/2015 22:56:56Note to self. When Jack says a few of his dad’s friends are in town for grad., he prob. means people whose names are on Lord Stanley’s Cup.
5/16/2015 23:00:13Embarrassing story I’ll share with y'all. When I first met Bob Zimmermann I called him “Mr.Bad Bob” then followed up with “Mr.Jack’s Dad.”
5/16/2015 23:25:45Shitty w/ The Boys: @$#!&ing 'swawe-'swawes bRAH
Shitty w/ Relatives: Cousin Gloria, you shan’t be studying medicine in New Haven will you?
5/16/2015 23:34:16Oh God. I’ve never heard Shitty laugh like that. It was this soft chuckle that ended with a sigh.
5/17/2015 12:30:38Class Day! #Samwell2015
5/17/2015 12:35:18Found sitting at the kitchen table this morning: John Johnson '14.
5/17/2015 12:40:23Does he…still have a key? &lt;_&lt;
5/17/2015 12:45:24“I’m mostly here for narrative and crowdfunding purposes. And to see my friends!” Still as, um, unique as ever.
5/17/2015 12:50:12@Drachellm Me: how’d you get in?
Johnson: plot hole, probably.
5/17/2015 12:50:41@omgcheckplease …i’m just gonna make coffee.
5/17/2015 15:30:51Jack: Hey, nice robes.
Shitty: Nice robes yourself, brother.
5/17/2015 15:49:16@StephWeasley I’m just recording this for posterity. U_U
5/17/2015 17:01:33As Rans explained to me “class day is fun & everyone wears cool hats, commencement is boring but you get to throw your hat at the end.”
5/17/2015 18:05:24It’s me, R&H, Lardo & Johnson, don’t know where our graduating seniors’ families are.
5/17/2015 18:10:31oh my gosh this schedule, “Class Day. Seniors gather on Lake Quad in graduating robes and favored headgear.” #Samwell2015
5/17/2015 18:15:31They set up a few screens around the Quad. Jack and Shitty showed up on one and we made SO MUCH NOISE. Sorry to anyone here! #Samwell2015
5/17/2015 18:45:31I’m already thinking of how I’ll trick out my mortarboard in a few years. Detachable felt pie slice? Or should I go full helmet like Jack…
5/17/2015 19:02:07Announcing awards for graduating seniors. #Samwell2015
5/17/2015 19:10:32I didn’t know GPAs could get that high @_@ #Samwell2015
5/17/2015 19:20:35OH!! “for an unprecedented three years of captaincy and exhibiting outstanding character on and off the field of play” Jack!!
5/17/2015 19:25:19Samwell 2015’s Best Male Athlete! #GotYourBack
5/17/2015 20:40:54☆ Seniors ☆ http://t.co/3mUGZnszDX
5/17/2015 20:45:48@breakdownhat They haven’t graduated yet!
5/17/2015 20:48:45shitty: so what are we gonna put in your “I Won Samwell” shiny trophy bowl
5/17/2015 21:49:39Hey y'all! For a quick bit, my friend Jack’s gonna take over and answer some questions. We really appreciate all the Samwell fans out there!
5/17/2015 21:51:16Hey, everyone.
5/17/2015 21:52:17Hi, I’m Jack. Bittle thought it would be fun if I answered a few questions. Fire away.
5/17/2015 21:54:08@darthrami yes, really excited
5/17/2015 21:54:32@RoseLauper Bittle’s fun, a great teammate
5/17/2015 21:55:33@foxmurdock Definitely the people. Great guys.
5/17/2015 21:56:16@CamilleCronley My teammate Justin wants me to say “dogecoin”. I’m not sure what that is.
5/17/2015 21:56:58@thistidalwave I do! Great bunch of kids.
5/17/2015 21:59:20@colealtmann University commencement is actually tomorrow, but thanks tough! Try new things, I think.
5/17/2015 22:00:28@Randomerican I do, I’d like a truck.
5/17/2015 22:02:09@metakate Bittle bakes a lot. I never had a favourite pie, but his stuff is all pretty good.
5/17/2015 22:02:29@metakate Bittle says “pretty GREAT”
5/17/2015 22:05:25@NicoEatsBooks Take lots of breaks and exercise always helps. It’s hard, but try not to procrastinate.
5/17/2015 22:05:45@mioseznito one of my best friends
5/17/2015 22:06:05@poltergi not sure
5/17/2015 22:06:35@TatyB94 Tomorrow.
5/17/2015 22:07:38@shutyoufatmouf Haha, that’s a good question. For me, every game shapes me and moves me forward.
5/17/2015 22:08:23@riamarie That’s tough. The teams are all great this year.
5/17/2015 22:09:32Does it always take you this long to type?
5/17/2015 22:10:10That last tweet was Bittle.
5/17/2015 22:10:50He’s on his phone.
5/17/2015 22:11:10@omgcheckplease Yes. That’s your only question.
5/17/2015 22:17:09@turnpikedarling No problem. Being on the ice with the boys is always fun.
5/17/2015 22:21:53@SluggySparkle How WWII affected university athletic programs in North America.
5/17/2015 22:24:59@TisPoppy Playing hockey in the NHL.
5/17/2015 22:27:22@TheCrazyFreak Absolutely, great win for Canada!
5/17/2015 22:29:32@thekimmiem I don’t really listen to music before hockey games.
5/17/2015 22:30:22@thekimmiem Shitty told me to type K dollar sign sha.
5/17/2015 22:30:43@aromanticdean I love golfing.
5/17/2015 22:36:19@HelenMontanez I’ve done it for a long time, so I’m used to it. Not a bad source of protein.
5/17/2015 22:37:01@MelissaWright14 It’s very new, excited for what’s coming up.
5/17/2015 22:37:23@guavagum Not really.
5/17/2015 22:43:51@teresashortcake Photography, but I don’t have a lot of time for it.
5/17/2015 22:44:15Bittle is baking a pie.
5/17/2015 22:45:24@SamwellBabes Maybe econ or political science.
5/17/2015 22:47:41@foxmurdock He’s having fun with this.
5/17/2015 22:48:12@alyssastweeting Not enough it seems.
5/17/2015 22:48:36@Haley_Nice1297 He’s a great player, really respect him.
5/17/2015 22:49:36Pecan
5/17/2015 22:55:28Allll right, if y'all send any more questions you’re just going to get answers from me, so.
5/17/2015 22:55:46Thank you, Jack!
5/18/2015 14:06:28Commencement!
5/18/2015 14:58:39Don’t know how many times I’ve said to myself “Keep it together, Bittle.”
5/18/2015 14:59:51@omgcheckplease It doesn’t seem to be working.
5/18/2015 15:00:03@omgcheckplease Lord, I’ve become my mother.
5/18/2015 16:07:50Lunch and goodbyes. :)
5/18/2015 18:15:06This boy.
7/3/2015 19:53:06Just in time for the festivities. :) http://t.co/LH07MKvtMj
8/3/2015 18:48:47Haus Sweet Haus. ♡